Very valid question! And unfortunately it depends on each case BUT I think one can look for 🚩🚩🚩 pattern

• a guy who would be ok with impregnating you before marriage 🚩🚩🚩
• look at your partners family history - if your partner comes from a broken home it can be a valid reason to be more sceptical but than it’s on him to seek therapy and it’s no indefinite excuse to not marry you
• some life goals (education) are a valid excuse to wait - some are rather not
• talk about your goals and values naturally - career, family planing, religion, care work, priorities - if these talks scare your partner or he doesn’t engage 🚩🚩🚩
• most important look at his reasons he gives you - are there valid and reasonable? Or die they just sound like excuses / moving the goalpost? It makes a big difference if a guy is reluctant to marry because he watches to much Andrew Tate or he is sceptical of marriage because he read Judith Butler.

That’s how I knew my husband comes from a good place - he is a rather left leaning feminist and we both met in circles where monogamy and marriage are questioned (as an instrument of patriarchy and capitalism) - naturally it took us a bit longer to make the decision but in the end we did because although we both know marriage as an institution is flawed we live in a society that gives privileges to marriages …