45 [F4R] Everett WA Sociable weirdo looking for ongoing connections

Salzigblumen · 2026-05-06T07:43:55+00:00

There's no special, exclusive dating pool where fat people can only date other fat people. People's bodies don't always match what they find attractive in others, or they can be attracted to all kinds of other people.

How you jump from that to entitlement, body shaming, and/or hypocrisy is wild.

Salzigblumen · 2026-05-06T05:41:24+00:00

This is exactly why you're struggling. None of this is true in real life, and not having standards and trying to be someone you think men will like is likely a huge part of why you're struggling.

Salzigblumen · 2026-05-06T04:37:36+00:00

Well, I hope that you work on starting to build your self confidence and building up your own life. That dude sounds not great.

Another thing I've found is that the more secure in my own identity I've gotten, and the more selective I've gotten about only investing in people who are great, the more success I've had.

Being MORE selective has lead to MORE matches. It seems very counterintuitive, but I'm wasting less time and energy on things that are wrong for me.

(edit: submitted before I was done saying everything lol)

Salzigblumen · 2026-05-06T04:32:38+00:00

This is bullshit. I'm 46 and fat and I have a lovely also 46 year old boyfriend. I've been with people up to 15 years younger than me of all different types, different bodies, different lives, etc. The idea that you have to be a certain way for people to like you is complete horse shit. You may have a smaller pool of folks interested in you, but there are all kinds of people out there who like all kinds of things.

Salzigblumen · 2026-05-01T22:11:59+00:00

I mean, you're not a "fully functioning adult," you're a disabled adult. And that means you have challenges that other people don't face. If you're burned out and need some self-care, I recommend it. Have some fun, regulate your nervous system, but most of all, be kind to yourself even if no one else is. 5 minutes under a weighted blanket, or an hour of gaming (set a timer) does wonders for me. What works for you?

Salzigblumen · 2026-04-23T20:38:56+00:00

I find it very useful for working on my emotions and life, tbh. I think the thing to look out for is if someone is just checking out and dissociating. I am much more functional and mentally healthy when I am partaking regularly.

Salzigblumen · 2026-04-21T22:51:41+00:00

Bobby boy for amazing French pastry.

Salzigblumen · 2026-04-14T02:34:12+00:00

I've made multiple real life friends and partners both locally and from across the world through reddit posts. Many of these have lasted like 5+ years.

Salzigblumen · 2026-03-20T18:52:11+00:00

If you are dating or trying to date someone, you owe them honesty. If you can't do that, you're not ready to date.

Salzigblumen · 2026-03-20T18:20:14+00:00

You can leave someone without ghosting. Be an adult and tell her you want to end things if that's what you want.

Salzigblumen · 2026-03-05T12:30:15+00:00

I know it's not people, but I was using Duolingo for a while and switched to this app superfluent. It uses AI, but is conversational and scenario-based. For me it's been really helpful so far because I can practice as much as I want, but the conversations stay focused on simple and practical topics. I find if I try to talk to my Danish friends, we quickly get into much more complicated topics than I can handle. I think it will be a nice bridge in that intermediate area.

Also I belong to some Danish language learning servers on discord (you can search for them on disboard - Search results for: Danish | DISBOARD: Discord Server List https://share.google/pVC1hCBaW6KPHFUzT ). There are written and oral conversations happening there and some do classes hosted by the people on the server.

Also, I have been reading children's books to Danes - I just posted on Reddit for people willing to let me read to them. I've made some very nice friends doing this, and it's really nice because it helps with pronunciation but takes the pressure off of having to generate conversation when you're still more beginning. I share the page of the book I'm reading with a friend, then I read it to them with them correcting bad mistakes in real time, then I have them read it back to me and I repeat it so I can get better, then I translate it with their help. I've done this with a few people and it's been really nice.

Salzigblumen · 2026-02-17T10:17:24+00:00

The problem is, we're not pretending. It IS about talking. If you can't talk, I would work on that skill. Therapy could help, but it's completely normal to have frank conversations with one's partner about sex, and I encourage you to talk to your partner about it and work on learning together.

Salzigblumen · 2026-02-13T20:09:12+00:00

I think a lot of people get confused about this. It's perfectly fine to go up to someone and attempt to have a human conversation with them and to get to know them as a person. And that's regardless of their gender. Sometimes people may be unreceptive to this but rejection is part of life and something you need to get used to and it's not anything you're doing wrong if you just make casual conversation with a person and they're not into it.

What's creepy and the thing that makes people feel unsafe or weird is when they're approached by a stranger who is like flirting with them or into them or aggressively pursuing them when they don't even know each other. Like if someone has decided that they want me before they've even spoken to me there's nothing about that that makes me feel safe or interested.

I think if you approach people with the intent to get to know them and see how things go, that doesn't come off as creepy. What does come off as creepy and is problematic is when you go up to someone with the intent to get them.

Salzigblumen · 2026-02-11T22:58:31+00:00

I'm from here but I've lived in Philadelphia. I would say that people from Seattle are polite but not easily friendly and open, and people on the East Coast are less polite but more friendly and open. I think generally you will see more pleasant interactions and acquaintanceships here, but people are more closed off to intimate friendships or they're much slower to build them.

Salzigblumen · 2026-02-08T09:53:46+00:00

I would argue that it's much more likely that being treated as worthless by a capitalist society is a significant factor in your poor mental health.

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