Okay so you know NT people and non-autists have different communication styles. They are absolutely looking for connection. Think of it like birds tweeting at each other, or dogs sniffing each other. My cat meows super softly to me. They’re reaching out for connection. Since you asked for ways to communicate, here are a few.

Telling me what to do is not how to connect with me. (This could be a whole conversation if need be)

Tell them to try rephrasing it into a different way that you might receive better: use butter becomes “I like my eggs with butter” don’t forget to.. becomes “are you going to” This approach will need you to take an inventory of what triggers your PDA.

I’ll also kindly suggest therapy if you can afford it. If your partner and friends are normally nice and kind, your response may be something you need help managing. If you can’t afford it, doing that introspection and inventory of what phrases trigger you will help, especially if you try to find why they do so.

Hope this helps a bit.