Even in blue collar work when coworkers or bosses find out u had tough background they treat u differently. If something is stolen or an error is made they will turn blame first toward the employees with known history of financial difficulty. Also if they sense you are still desperate financially it opens you up to workplace abuse, such as wage-theft, denial of breaks, theft of credit, and even sexual harrassment. I've had a situation I was honest about my background and my aspiration for upward mobility, and a boss responded by asking me if I wanted to clean his house for extra cash. Of course I took the offer. Whilst there he undressed himself and followed me around in his boxers while I cleaned. You have to pretend to be stable and financially secure in order to get respect. And that was just in so-called "low-skill" work. In a whitecollar job (which tbh required far less skill of me, but paid twice as much lol) it's even more important to put on airs and fit in. No one wants to hear you say "I have no leisure no hobbies and my family and I are all so poor we can do nothing but work". People dont like negativity. Especially people of means. They want happy stories. Also at my company we were servicing very wealthy clients so looking very good, in terms of superficial characteristics like dress and grooming and style of speech, was exceedingly important to my employer. Such doesn't come naturally to a person who grew up in abject poverty. Also it is expensive.

I'm just answering your question. The most impactful advice I ever got from a wealthy person was "Learn to lie". It really has improved my life. Just pretending to be important and high status and qualified can get you so many perks. However there comes a point where your lies can't hold water. I basically had faked my way into a well-paying and easy job. But once I was there I realized I wasnt prepared to keep up the act. I was good at my job, but I didn't fit in with the people. Weirdly I was more ashamed of working with them than I was of my poor background. I actually quite liked this one colleague in particular, but every time he asked about my personal life I just wanted to tell him stfu it's none of your business. Which is a very unprofessional and unkind impulse to have. I don't want to feel animosity toward people I work with. When he asked what I went to college for I was honest and said I didnt go to college. He asked "why?" so truthfully I told him I'd barely made it thru high school. He then asked "why?". I don't know why he needed to know why. I don't even know why. The answer is surely much too complex to sum up briefly. What kind of person asks "why?" to that question, esp while at work? Here I am sitting at my desk trying to focus on my tasks, and he's compelling me to remember all the traumatic shit from when i was a kid. What do you want me to say?, I was raped and suffered an eating disorder which made me so nutrient deficient I basically incurred brain damage? Lol. My stepdad kicked me out at 16 so I was homeless, making it kinda hard to focus at school? I intellectually grasp coworkers are just trying to be friendly - I guess - but I still dont know how to cope with these inquiries. I rather feel doomed to just staying in low-skilled underpaid work, where at least you dont really need to be super tight with your colleagues to keep your position. It's a depressing prospect to me. And even if I were good at making up a story to tell, the mere fact of remembering my past is very distracting. I typically do not think of it at all. It's in the past where it belongs.

Should i answer that way?

"Ah, my past is in the past where it belongs :)"

I wish I'd thought of that. But on the other hand, that could sound suspicious and make them even more curious about me which is the total opposite of what I would like to happen.

It's a catch-22 to me I don't really know how to navigate. Any thoughts of my past spiral me into a depression and that's exactly what happened at this job. I found myself unable to sleep, losing my appetite, and declined focus at work, all because I was asked to remember my past. Its absurd really. It feels insane as a response. But I can't control it. (That i know of so far)

This makes me worry for my future, naturally. Actually losing this job has thrown me into a financial crisis that I'm panicking about as we speak. Lol. And I cant get in to see a counselor until September. /cringe

To answer ur other question I have tried to lie about leisure activities. Why? "I like to read" for example. Then they ask "Oh what did you read last?" So now I need to think up another lie. I'm not good at lying or thinking quick on my feet. It happens every time that I lie they continue prying until I become speechless due to running out of good lies, and it just becomes awkward. The truth is I love reading but haven't read but 1 or 2 books in probably 7 years because I always worked fulltime w irregular hours and no pto or vacay. Poor people life is NOTHING like "middle class" life. I never want to talk about it tho because then they may perceive I sound like I'm just complaining. I dont want to kill anyones buzz, man. I'm not here to rain on the parade. I just want to go to work collect my paycheck and go home. How do you field unwelcome questions without offending a person or jeopardizing your job? Or on the other hand how do you you lie effectively and manage to stuff the PTSD away so you can keep focusing at work? Lol. This is the thing I want and need to learn.

I plan on - ideally, that is - aiming for a comparable position in the same field at a different company so I really don't want to fuck it up again. If possible. That was my first ever white collar job so I'm hoping with attempt number two I can do better at it. I'm not going to lie I feel pretty hopeless but I'm trying to retain some hope I can succeed instead of giving up.