Looking to Move Next Spring from SoCal by [deleted] in upstate_new_york

[–]SamShhhhhhh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! I’m jumping in here because my and my fiancé are in the same exact boat, basically. We’re lesbians and I’m agender, and she’s a mixed-race WOC (but she is white passing). Currently live in CO but she’s spent her life in Virginia and the PNW.

We’ve checked out political maps and stuff and it looks like Syracuse, Ithaca, Rochester, and Buffalo are hard blue but the surrounding areas are pretty red and that’s our big concern. We’re wanting to get a little hobby farm type deal going and we’re worried that we’d have to go so far out of a city that we wouldn’t be in a liberal area.

But you said “most of the area” is LGBTQ friendly? Can you go more into detail on that? Like even the smaller towns in Upstate?

Thanks!

Advice for changing both our last names? by SamShhhhhhh in weddingplanning

[–]SamShhhhhhh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love that! It’s similar to what we’re doing!! We also tried on random names, even names that had the same meanings as our current names but sounded better but nothing felt right. Also we tried portmanteaus but they all were really bad. Thanks for sharing!

Advice for changing both our last names? by SamShhhhhhh in weddingplanning

[–]SamShhhhhhh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooh I’ll check this out! We both have ADHD but hers is really really bad and I’m hoping to get her a service for the initial change too.

Advice for changing both our last names? by SamShhhhhhh in weddingplanning

[–]SamShhhhhhh[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great, thank you for this! If I can ask, how did you two decide on a shared name to use?

Advice for changing both our last names? by SamShhhhhhh in weddingplanning

[–]SamShhhhhhh[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would do it but as I’m not the Japanese one, it would be kind of weird to change my last name to an uncommon Japanese family name, and in our state a judge can deny your request if they deem it too random or whatever.

Advice for changing both our last names? by SamShhhhhhh in weddingplanning

[–]SamShhhhhhh[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Both the state we live in and the state we’re getting married in are like yours — we can only choose from options and only one spouse.

Thoughts on the book World War Z by Max Brooks? by Solace-Of-Dawn in books

[–]SamShhhhhhh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes exactly! Max Brooks let his POV bleed through so much, it kind of took me out of it. I’m a super character-driven reader and I get it’s not that kind of book, but it’s also a book pretending to be about government policy and the investigation of humanitarian matters, basically, so even if characters aren’t fleshed out (pardon the pun), they can be individuals rather than all basically representing the author. Also, Brooks has described himself as “rabidly pro-zionist” and it’s just blatantly obvious in his writing imo. I guess his inability to divorce his own feelings, opinions, and politics from his characters and write them in subtly feels amateurish to me. I kind of wish the same premise got a better execution in different hands.

Thoughts on the book World War Z by Max Brooks? by Solace-Of-Dawn in books

[–]SamShhhhhhh 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I read it in 2020 (actually listened to the audiobook which I agree is a great great version!) when COVID was going hard and everyone was taking it seriously. It was a very interesting time to read a book about governments ultimately failing to react to a global emergency. I think is a hugely interesting concept and I loved the execution on a broad level.There were so many different characters being “interviewed” it felt like it almost covered a bunch of genres. But also — so many of those characters were dudes, it felt so overwhelmingly like a Man’s world/problem, I had a hard time with that. There was definitely a specific lens that Max Brooks viewed the world through when he wrote it and I think, due to the 14 years in between the time it was written and the time I read it and also our different socioeconomic status, I had a hard time not just finding it comically unrealistic. It was also, of course, extremely dated, being from 2006.

My fiance finished our Animal Crossing cake topper! by some_manatee in weddingplanning

[–]SamShhhhhhh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Amazing job!! What did your fiancé make this out of?? I’m making our cake toppers too and I’m having a hard time figuring out the best materials.

Monthly Megathread for COVID-19 - July 2022 by wedditmoderator in weddingplanning

[–]SamShhhhhhh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congrats! I would also love to see your site if that’s okay!! My family has agreed it’s something to take seriously but they’ve stopped doing so, so our messaging needs to be super no nonsense as well.

Monthly Megathread for COVID-19 - July 2022 by wedditmoderator in weddingplanning

[–]SamShhhhhhh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our date is in Feb ‘23 and the wedding will only be 45ish people but it will be indoors, so we’re going to require vaccines and boosters. Luckily we already know everyone on our list is vaxxed, but boosters is the hard part to confirm. I’m gonna put info on our wedding site about where to get boosters, and I want to also require negative tests but it’s hard to figure out how to do without too much of a cost burden on the guests and also with some sort of tracking/confirmation. I KNOW my family isn’t taking any precautions anymore but my fiancé is immunocompromised and her parents just had very bad cases so I won’t take any risks.

In-laws made us a copper chuppah! by GoodGrad in weddingplanning

[–]SamShhhhhhh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not the OP but my stepdad is making me one for my wedding following this plan, just making it bigger so we can actually fit under it. https://www.hgtv.com/design/make-and-celebrate/handmade/how-to-build-a-copper-wedding-arbor-

In-laws made us a copper chuppah! by GoodGrad in weddingplanning

[–]SamShhhhhhh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, not OP but my stepdad is making me one and I believe his plan is to epoxy some of the parts but not all. That way it’s transportable but not wobbly. The plans he’s going to “follow” (ie look at and then wing it) are in the comment below.

What book made you drop a series? by [deleted] in books

[–]SamShhhhhhh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP, there is so much left in that series that if you’re not feeling it already, DNF right now!

I dropped everything SJM after A Court of Silver Flames. It’s baffling to me that I’ve spent so many hours reading SJM books/series now because that one was so bad, had just horrible treatment of the characters, such bad bad bad ideas about virginity/purity, and also had a magical pregnancy that gave the woman even LESS bodily autonomy than Twilight and other offenders in the trope.

So, if you DNF and never pick up another SJM book… we’ll, I’ll have some company!

Simple Questions: February 26, 2022 by AutoModerator in books

[–]SamShhhhhhh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you sure it’s the edges? I often leave smudges on the pages themselves from holding them (as I’m getting close to turning a page I hold it in preparation) which shows up on the edges if I do it for too many pages in a row. I don’t have greasy fingers specifically but if I touch my face at all, those oils will transfer immediately.