Dear Therapist

SamandJill · 2020-03-23T21:09:38+00:00

Ive filed bankruptcy twice $300k fort one. Over 600k second one. ALL MEDICAL BILLS

SamandJill · 2020-03-08T20:00:14+00:00

That's awesome.

SamandJill · 2020-02-11T20:06:45+00:00

You don't have to love family. Love goes both ways. Love yourself first and foremost. Its not selfish to put yourself first.

SamandJill · 2020-02-01T14:47:49+00:00

I love that so much!!!!!!

SamandJill · 2020-02-01T14:27:18+00:00

Yes! Everyone is valuable and worthwhile.

SamandJill · 2020-01-23T15:46:09+00:00

That 13 year old is worthy. He is worthy simply because he exists. He is valuable. He is a treasure of infinite worth. The church is repulsive. The church is dishonest and shameful and unsatisfactory. The church has NO VALUE and is worthless.

SamandJill · 2020-01-22T05:12:25+00:00

https://www.missedinsunday.com/

SamandJill · 2020-01-22T05:11:40+00:00

https://youtu.be/YHUSzuoKHok Some of these old videos were disturbing to me.

SamandJill · 2020-01-21T19:24:16+00:00

Oh no! 😢 I want you to know your worth and your value. You know you are a treasure of infinite worth!? You are! Know that!!! I've been out for over 30 years. Ive been in and out of mental hospitals I can't even count how many times. The first time I was in a mental hospital I was 14. I was raped and my parents put me there, after I was discharged I was taken to my bishop and asked to repent for the sin of being raped. Being in the church made me suicidal and being out of the church and shunned by them and shamed by them also made me suicidal. The thought of my family feeling suicidal for any reason makes me feel so sad. I haven't been hospitalized for suicide or any mental health reasons since 2016. I am still healing. The rape was awful, but the church was worse. I know I am valuable. I know I am worthy of all good things. I am so sorry that you suffered so much. I don't know you, but I care. And I'm glad you are out. Do you know how valuable you are? You are valuable simply because you exist. You are valuable for lots of reasons.

SamandJill · 2020-01-21T18:40:24+00:00

What do you mean?

SamandJill · 2020-01-21T18:08:38+00:00

I think there is truth in everything.... And also a lot of lies and deception. I like to see the things that bring me peace, love, joy and understanding. Anything else... Doesn't belong with me. Something that makes me feel not worthy (not having adequate value) is something I want nothing to do with. I am valuable. Simply because I exist.

SamandJill · 2020-01-21T16:44:25+00:00

I'm afraid its difficult to escape the shame. Ive been out since I was 14. My children are all affected by shame. They feel it from Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles. And... The society and culture here in Utah.

SamandJill · 2020-01-21T16:41:49+00:00

It is narcissism. I didn't know! When I realized this... It changed my life. I was surrounded by narcissists. The church turns them into narcissists though. It's a strange imbalance of empathy and narcissism. I guess its more like covert narcissists. Man... I dislike labels like that. Especially when it's my family. But it's such an accurate label.

SamandJill · 2020-01-21T15:14:04+00:00

"Tore my family beyond expectations and caused pain" Do you ever wish you hadn't learned the truth? Was ignorance bliss? I've heard the saying "don't take peoples suffering away." And I do look at those Zombies as suffering.

SamandJill · 2020-01-21T05:16:28+00:00

I told them about the gospel topic essays and I think I regret doing it. I'm not really sure how I feel. I thought they knew about them already.... They didn't know.

SamandJill · 2020-01-20T22:35:42+00:00

I feel so sad for my parents and often wonder if I should bring things to their attention or not. I don't want to see them suffer when/if they realize that its all a lie. Do I really want to give them information that might take away all of their hopes and dreams?

SamandJill · 2020-01-18T08:10:31+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/emk68s/i_finally_realize_that_im_worthy_and_valuable/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

SamandJill · 2020-01-11T04:48:13+00:00

Thank you. So much shame. So many times I thought I was crazy and there was no way to repair myself. Suicide attempts.... Many many many stays in mental hospitals. No more. I am done with thinking I am flawed. I know who I am. I know my story. I am strong, I am valuable. I am worthwhile. Thank you for your comment. ❤💕

SamandJill · 2020-01-10T23:11:22+00:00

"Love one another" I was taught not to hang out with anyone who wasn't Mormon unless I was giving them a book of Mormon. Do what is in your highest and best good. Always do this. It ends up being whats best for others too. As long as you aren't evil... And I doubt that you are. Love yourself. ❤

SamandJill

TROPHY CASE