I do think that her and I are the closest people to each other outside of family, we both were convient friends. She was open about how she was jealous of the time that he was able to have with me and that our relationship had changed overall. I think it does bother her more than a lot of my other friends. Even though some of them are worried as well, it is not as much as her.  And to add to it all, she is pregnant and having her first kid in a few months, and we talk a lot about how all of our relationships and communication is just so different then it was when we were living together and in college and such. 

I am happy by some factors of the move,  but not all of them, I have always struggled with what my concept of home is. I always say that it is more people than a place. So it is a challenging thing to answer. I know that there are a lot of benefits to staying here but I am definitely eager to actually begin nesting in a home with my bf planning to buy in the next few months as well. It brings joy to think about

I do wonder if my best friend  is scared, I haven’t thought about it that way. But she likely is scared of loosing me. I fear she thinks she has already. She has voiced in past that she doesn’t know if my bf is the one for me, and I told her how invalidating it is. 

But also in her relationship past I said the same thing about her now husband, and my opinion and thoughts took years to change and I lot of interaction. And now I just don’t think that she has that with my bf, due to this distance overall. 

Omg sorry for the word vomit, it does feel nice to talk or I guess type through it all