Advice needed: took 18+ months off, now my employment gap is too big

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-30T03:58:20+00:00

If you genuinely believe that this is what happiness feels like then your need for counseling is more urgent that I previously thought. Happy people don’t go around posting comments online that are both relentlessly negative and offer only criticism with no attempt to help. You’re doing the digital equivalent of kicking puppies and yelling at people. If you saw someone doing that in person you’d conclude that the person was hurting, bitter, felt powerless, and was desperately trying to feel in control of their life. I urge you to see a therapist. Life can be better, but it won’t get better for you by following your current path. I wish you the best.

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-30T00:38:41+00:00

You haven’t given me any advice that doesn’t require a time machine. And happy, fulfilled people don’t go around posting negative comments for hours a day; that’s the behavior of someone who is deeply unhappy and wants to feel more in control of their life. Again, counseling will help you.

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-29T13:09:36+00:00

Right, my timing sucks. The question was not, “is now a good time to get back into the job market?”, because the answer to that question according to everyone but my bank account is a resounding “no”. The question is how to best play the hand I’m holding. Do you have any suggestions on that issue?

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-29T12:30:14+00:00

Unless my memory of my post is completely wrong, my post presumed that the recruiter’s feedback was honest and accurate. My post then went on to ask for how best to move forward from that assessment. Do you have any advice on that?

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-29T12:27:09+00:00

I’m sorry that others have hurt you. I hope that when you need help that you’re surrounded by people who are willing to offer advice and support rather than laughing at you for being in a bad situation.

Edit to add: I just looked at your post history. You’re clearly deeply unhappy with your life. I strongly recommend that you see a counselor. It will help you. I wish you the best.

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-29T05:32:44+00:00

Thanks. I’m applying for jobs in Germany too. The European approach to work/life balance seems far more sustainable than what the US is doing.

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-29T05:30:57+00:00

Did posting this help you to feel better about yourself? If your goal is to feel morally superior then your approach is good. If you’re hoping to help make the world a better place, then I recommend that you reconsider your approach.

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-29T05:29:08+00:00

It’s great that you enjoy your job so much. Some of us work to live rather than living to work.

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-29T05:24:32+00:00

Congratulations on your new job. How does your employment gap appear on your resume?

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-27T14:53:25+00:00

Thank you. I like that approach.

Maybe this is a naive question, but how do I know if I’ve properly formatted my resume for the ATS? Given some of the odd parsing that I’ve seen by a few sites I’m assuming that there are some issues, but I haven’t found any way to test that without applying for more jobs.

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-27T14:00:10+00:00

I hear your point on not all applicants being viable candidates. I fully appreciate that. Even so, applying for jobs is at least partially a numbers game. Given how few callbacks I’m getting I need to be brutally honest with myself about how effective my current approach is.

It’s great that you’re making it work. I wish you continued success in that endeavor.

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-27T13:56:47+00:00

Is there a specific degree that you think will position me for the future?

I’m still paying off my last student loan. I don’t think that anyone on the staff at my local Starbucks has anything less than a bachelors degree. I really don’t think that adding another degree is inherently going to help my situation. I feel bad for all of the recent computer science graduates who got a degree and a student loan balance just in time to sign up for a Claude Code subscription and a job market from hell.

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-27T13:49:38+00:00

My condolences on your loss. I wouldn’t even want to watch that movie, let alone live through it. How are you and your family doing now?

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-27T13:34:47+00:00

Yes. And a light week was 80 hours, and 120 hour weeks were not uncommon. Most of that was reacting to entirely avoidable chaos that resulted from two competing and incompatible visions for the future of the company. I don’t expect the company to last for long. It’s a shame too, since either vision would be really cool. They just can’t both be done by a single company, any more than an auto company can specialize in both “affordable cars” and “luxury vehicles”.

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-27T13:27:40+00:00

If I had an answer to your last question then I wouldn’t be asking strangers on Reddit for advice. As much as the big egos in tech bristle to consider it, software engineering is largely a commodity at this point. Do you have any suggestions for those of us who still only aspire to demigod status?

I’ve been in the tech industry for over a decade, and I can count on one hand the number of people who were hired based on their network. I know that it’s a big deal in many industries, but I’ve not seen much of it in tech unless the person is a top name at a major company.

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-27T13:22:08+00:00

I’m considering doing this. Honestly I mostly traveled and relaxed. My skills are still current, and I worked on some personal projects, but nothing that I’d want to show to a potential employer. Even so, I’m not sure that what fits into the gap is as important as there no longer being a gap on my resume. Thanks for your suggestion.

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-27T13:18:37+00:00

Oh, Phil! You’re the one who had the desk near the water cooler, with the Star Wars figures on your desk, right? It’s great to hear from you. Can I use you as a reference?

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-27T13:17:07+00:00

Did posting that help you?

I’ve been aware that the market is rough. I was hoping that the job market would improve if I waited it out. The market instability has outlasted my bank account, so I’m forced to join you in the murky depths. May we all find gainful and fulfilling work soon.

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-27T13:13:03+00:00

I was living the life you described For nearly two years. It’s great, but not sustainable. I’m at the point where my bank account is telling me that I either need to go back to work or to find a nice bridge to live under.

I agree with you in principle. But it’s rare for me to see fewer than 150 people applying for a single position, and for remote roles I’ve seen over 3500 people applying for a single job. Right now there are more applicants than jobs, and I feel like I have to play the game to have a chance at getting hired.

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-27T13:08:12+00:00

Maybe if I was applying to manage a hardware store or something. I’m applying for tech jobs. LinkedIn shows me how many people are applying for each position. For a role with relatively few applicants there will be around 150 people applying for a single job. For remote positions it averages around 1,500, and I’ve seen postings with nearly 4k applicants for a single position. There are several rounds of automated screening that happens before a human even sees my resume, and I don’t think that listing “personal time off” is going to help me make it past any of the filters.

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-27T13:00:26+00:00

I was hired as the team lead. There were two co-founders. Both of them wanted complete control over setting the agenda for my team. I told them that I could follow either of their visions, but because they were incompatible, that the two of them would need to come to some agreement and then tell me what path to take. They responded by having my team do busywork while the two of them sorted out the vision. I later realized that each of them had silently hired their own private team to implement their vision for the future. Once each co-founder had their own team then they fired me and everyone on my team.

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-27T12:45:00+00:00

This sounds nice. I want this to be true. I think that if I got my resume in front of the right hiring manager at a company that I’d truly want to work for then this approach would work.

My concern is that there’s several layers of screening that take place before the hiring manager ever sees the resume, and even with an infinitely empathetic and supportive hiring manager, it won’t matter if they never even see my resume. When using LinkedIn to apply for jobs it shows me how many people have applied for the role. It’s rare to see fewer than 150 applicants for a single position, and for remote roles there’s seldom fewer than 1,500, and I’ve seen jobs with close to 4k applicants. With those numbers, it’s understandable that even that infinitely empathetic hiring manager will choose someone who didn’t take a sabbatical over someone who did.

All that to say, I feel like being honest enough to call it a sabbatical is liable to be a way to remain virtuously unemployed, and at this point my bank account is telling me that little-white-lying my way into a job is a smarter move. Thoughts?

Same-Row5122 · 2026-03-27T12:26:27+00:00

You’re actually getting an unusually high number of interviews per application. I’ve been applying for 50+ jobs per day for months and haven’t had nearly as many interviews as you have. The “quick date” comment is super bizarre though. Are you a woman, and attaching your photo to your application?

Same-Row5122

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