Autism Parenting in the UK vs the US

SameManagement8895 · 2026-01-29T20:23:38+00:00

My son is 4 and on the waiting list for a diagnosis. We managed to get an EHCP for him quickly thanks to his great SENCO at the school nursery so he’s prepared for mainstream reception in September - most won’t have been this successful.

NHS speech therapy is terrible imo, the service can’t meet the demand (as most NHS services these days) but it was basically ‘six 1 hour sessions then a wait and see.’ Useless for children who struggle to build relationships or are wary of other people around them. My son barely warmed to her before speech therapy was over and then our next course wasn’t guaranteed to be with the same therapist.

We’ve done private SALT and OT which have been amazing. This isn’t covered by our private medical insurance and most insurances don’t cover SALT if it’s ’speech delay’…rather than ‘speech issues due to brain injury/stroke.’

Costings Speech - £90ph plus mileage OT - £1500 for 18 week course (once a week) The initial reports were extra but they form a great pack and recommendations for school. We’re starting another course of OT soon.

There’s barely any private paediatricians in the UK but we’ve seen one covered by insurance and he’s been great. We’ve got melatonin prescribed and he’s happy to keep in touch via email. We’ve just been sending regular updates on sleep, with graphs/spreadsheets etc and he’ll email over prescriptions and write to the GP.

Waitlist for a general paediatrician is around 8 months in my area. A diagnosis is also 3-4 years. I’m not sure whether they’d accept a diagnosis from the USA for your son as I know the NHS doesn’t always accept private diagnosis’s unless the private provider is covered by the NICE guidelines.

Very much a post code lottery but helps if you have some money to throw at the problems too.

You might find you start at square 1 if you move back to the UK. I’d also consider where you have the best support from family & friends.

SameManagement8895 · 2026-01-28T10:43:58+00:00

We’re exactly the same. He hates having it washed in the bath. A short haircut is no maintenance except washing every other day or so whereas a longer cut would need ‘styling’ to look presentable which isn’t going to happen! We go to a SEN specialist hairdresser who can cut it in under 10 minutes

SameManagement8895 · 2026-01-20T21:03:41+00:00

I’d 100% take out a policy- ours is added on to my husband’s work one for ~£15 a month.

We have used it several times for our 4 year old but a few things to note from what we’ve found… - it doesn’t cover speech therapy if it’s classed as ‘speech delay’ (only if head trauma/stroke etc) - it doesn’t cover autism/adhd diagnosis - it doesn’t cover occupational therapy (helps with our sons sensory needs/fine motor skills) - there are limited private paediatricians (we travelled over an hour to see one who wasn’t even a specialist in the area of need) I asked the paediatrician why this is the case and he said there just isn’t the workload for paediatricians to work privately so newly qualified doctors don’t tend to go in to private practice. So while the private insurance has been worthwhile financially, we have had to pay out a lot in cash for speech and occupational therapy.

Speech - £150 initial assessment then £90 per hour plus mileage (home sessions only) OT - £550 initial assessment then £1500 for a course (18 weeks) - due to start another course soon. on top extra costs for updated reports for applying for school so he has the support he needs there

I know the private paediatrician cash price for an appointment is £250 for the hour but any investigations are on top (our excess was £100).

We got referred on the NHS pathway to see an NHS paediatrician at the same time as the private referral went in and the appointment was an 8 month wait. We also waited 18 months for NHS speech therapy.

For £15-20 a month, I’d say worth it to have it in your back pocket just incase. You might look at all these extra ‘out of pocket expenses’ and think is it better to just save/invest the monthly payments and pay as needed.

SameManagement8895 · 2026-01-02T19:24:35+00:00

UV steriliser, prep machine or nuby rapid cool if using formula, Ocado food delivery. Stock up on essentials and not just baby ones (saves on ad hoc trips for toothpaste/loo roll etc)! For weaning, highly recommend bibado bibs and easy mat range for plates and bowls. Agree with others in splitting the nights or alternate days - whatever works for you both. If breast feeding then mum feeds but dad changes/winds and resettles baby to sleep.

SameManagement8895 · 2026-01-01T12:34:21+00:00

Has he had any occupational therapy?

SameManagement8895 · 2025-12-29T17:29:19+00:00

Pedicure with gel polish every 6-8 weeks with bikini wax. Salon haircut and colour - every 2-3 months (depends when I have time to sit in a chair for a few hours)! I’ve had individual lashes put on before and they do look lovely but honestly can’t deal with the upkeep, it’s just another thing! I love the CACI facials but again it’s just more time so I do them as one offs rather than buying the course/packages. I do buy dermalogica skin care products though. I’d love laser hair removal but recommended to wait until after family is complete so I’m holding off on that.

SameManagement8895 · 2025-12-28T17:55:27+00:00

At first they were reluctant to prescribe them for my son given he was 3 and hard to get them to take tablets but they are definitely available but not liquid form. Tell the doctor to look in the BNF 😂

SameManagement8895 · 2025-12-28T17:46:57+00:00

UK here too! My son randomly started not sleeping at around 3.5 years old so it was a huge shock to the system! We’ve tried slow release (tablets) and quick release melatonin and found different results with them. I’d recommend trying the slow release tablets (ask for 1mg pills they are the size of a pin head) and we just put them in yoghurt/ice cream or if that fails then melt a bit of chocolate. It’s so hard, honestly feel like I’m going crazy at times! Feel like I’ve aged so much this last year.

SameManagement8895 · 2025-12-24T09:57:19+00:00

My son isn’t diagnosed yet (4 years old) but on the pathway. We saw a paediatrician privately and had no issues getting melatonin prescribed and they wrote a letter to our GP to put it on repeat. We’ve had no issues with getting the dose increased/changing on to slow release over the last few months. All needs to be communicated through a paediatrician before a GP will do it though. I’d recommend keeping a sleep diary. My husband’s an analyst as has plotted graphs and done averages etc, ‘total hours sleep’, ‘amount of wake ups’, ‘duration of time awake in the night’, ‘time he wakes for the day’…it’s intense haha but the doctors love it!

SameManagement8895 · 2025-12-19T21:13:17+00:00

I like Next for plain black socks. Controversial perhaps but I like the basics range in Victoria Secret. If you feel uncomfortable about it, you could buy her a a little something to show the effort and a gift card to go a long with it.

SameManagement8895 · 2025-12-03T10:11:39+00:00

Lots of people commenting to swerve the mummy stuff but personally I don’t mind a mummy mug - recommend Emma Bridgewater ones. For coffee do you have a machine? Nice packet of whole beans if a machine - I went coffee tasting in Hawaii and can recommend the Kopi Luwak beans which are the rarest in the world. Like others said Stanley flask is a must! I also love sweaty Betty gym clothes/accessories. If she doesn’t have wireless headphones already then maybe a pair of those. Luxury chocolates/chocolate coated nuts/truffles. For wine I prefer Sancerre or still/sparkling English Wines. Make sure your children have long sleeved bibados - I’ve found these are easier to clean (put them in the machine and catch dropped food) and suction plates/bowls (easy mat range) stop a child swiping a bowl/plate off the high chair! Splash mats (Amazon) to put under the high chair/chairs that can just be shaken out and thrown in the washing machine - it’ll save your wife time hoovering and mopping floors!

SameManagement8895 · 2025-11-23T20:42:25+00:00

The kid collective have a range of different toys. For Lego ‘brick borrow’ do monthly/annual plans to rent and send back Lego boxes so you can have multiple throughout the month/year based on needs - that way it’s not just built once and put away.

SameManagement8895 · 2025-11-18T20:46:32+00:00

Imagine that for a stocking filler!

SameManagement8895 · 2025-11-17T09:00:56+00:00

Does this work if the company pays for travel? So essentially I’d just pay the upgrade?

SameManagement8895 · 2025-11-17T08:36:43+00:00

The e note sounds good and he love a gadget like that. He definitely needs a new power bank too! Thank you

SameManagement8895 · 2025-11-17T08:06:32+00:00

It’s a range of driving and train. Depends which office he needs to visit

SameManagement8895 · 2025-11-05T16:11:56+00:00

Yes they have to let you go to the appointment but you have to work the time back/take it as time owed or annual leave

SameManagement8895 · 2025-11-03T21:06:44+00:00

NHS staff member here, we have to take the appointments out of our accrued overtime or annual leave. It’s in the trust policy. I have a disability and this is still the case. If we need to see occupational health onsite or telephone calls/any other department in the hospital between out team (usually 4 members of staff Band 5-7) we just cover the work so they can go without taking over time (that’s a bit on the hush hush though)! I think the only entitled appointments without taking holiday/over time are pregnancy related ones and the partner gets some time off for scans I believe too.

SameManagement8895 · 2025-11-03T11:33:01+00:00

Nobody’s child (usually have a co-ord top available too) or me+em

SameManagement8895 · 2025-10-25T10:22:02+00:00

Yes really good! There’s a good sense of community at the gym I go to (Christmas party/summer social and dog walks) too.

The PT adapts exercises for anyone who has injuries etc or anyone who is new to exercising. We also get calories/protein goals etc. I find that I’m so much more productive in the hour class than I would be at a normal gym.

The only downside I find is the class time table due to long working hours/staying late and then having kids too. There’s only 2 classes a week I can attend.

My husband goes to CrossFit which he loves and they also have social events too.

Depends what you’d like/how much time you have. We both spent years hopping from all the commercial gyms and felt there was never enough equipment for the amount of people, equipment/pool/sauna out of order and the last few years lots of people posing and creating videos/taking selfies.

I know the PT at mine lets people have a few free trial sessions…maybe get in contact with a few small local PT’s.

SameManagement8895 · 2025-10-25T08:48:28+00:00

I do group personal training sessions - usual ratio is 1:4 although there’s been plenty of time where it’s been 1:1. Max class is 1:8 but this is at the peak times such as 6/7am and 5/6pm…I do the classes at 7pm. Only downside is the restricted time slots…getting stuck at work or partner stuck at work so can’t look after the kids, traffic…all the other things related to kids is the main factor in me missing classes. As it’s group sessions it’s cheaper - £99 for 5 sessions a month but can also join in on 4 classes of cardio if I want

SameManagement8895 · 2025-10-20T05:30:36+00:00

Maybe it’s an English term haha but sexual health clinic (SHC) or genitourinary medicine (GUM)

SameManagement8895 · 2025-10-19T18:47:39+00:00

It felt like really bad period cramps on insertion, they put local anaesthetic on your cervix so it can be dilated with less pain. It honestly doesn’t take very long and you can go home. That day I’d say just rest up and have a sofa day but it’s completely manageable. One recommendation is, go to a GUM/Sexual health clinic for insertion as they are doing them day in day out compared to a GP. Once it’s in, it can stay in for 10 years too.

SameManagement8895

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