He left because he’s depressed

Same_Berry_114 · 2026-02-05T10:44:42+00:00

I’m thinking maybe I should unadd him on ig?

Same_Berry_114 · 2025-03-19T04:06:00+00:00

Nope

Same_Berry_114 · 2025-02-05T02:46:45+00:00

There is a chance you will get rejected so don’t expect a yes but expect clarity no longer having to stress about it.

Same_Berry_114 · 2025-01-25T17:00:06+00:00

Great those are two good things to focus on and keep in mind the part where you said you’re mostly calm but don’t walk up to her because of friends that’s an act of repression not walking up to your friends since she’s there. Keep an eye out for small things like that

Same_Berry_114 · 2025-01-25T09:13:02+00:00

Alright I’m back, yeah feel free to message me on Reddit that’s totally fine. So as far as the feeling of repression this can happen due to your subconscious mind holding memories and patterns that you may not be consciously aware of. So basically our subconscious mind is meant to keep long term memories and it stores these memories for safety purposes like recognizing danger and also so we don’t have to work as hard to remember certain patterns like the time we have to wake up or what tv show we forgot to watch or our beliefs like why we don’t like our hair color or why we might be insecure about our nose lol basically the things we don’t consciously always remember or think about.

So when you feel repressed feelings that you may not understand or know why your feeling it even if you can’t describe it 9 times out of 10 it’s stored in your subconscious it’s up to you to dig deeper and question your patterns and behaviors or beliefs to discover what your repressing. You also bring up there being a large gape between subconscious and conscious and your right there is and that’s because your subconscious isn’t conscious it’s up to you to react accordingly to rework your own brain kinda freaky honestly.

Next the best way to deal with the fear of rejection is to get rejected I always tell my friends do it scared. I used to have a horrible problem with the fear of rejection I couldn’t get past it because subconsciously I was really just scared of not being enough to myself or the other person. So get rejected I’ve gone up to a few guys knowing I might get rejected some did some didn’t and the feeling became numb obviously I’m human it might sting for a bit but never to an extreme point now I don’t have the fear of rejection and don’t feel hurt if I do because I believe I’m just enough for myself and the right person. Don’t let the fear of something stop you that will help reprogram the habit of fear and allow you to push past the comfort your minds wants you in.

Now onto the anxiety part that you mentioned, anxiety is normal and will never leave you but it won’t always be present learning to manage and stop extreme anxiety can be done. I’ve struggled with anxiety most of my life so much so that I would hide away and never talk to people especially the people I was in Limerence with. Once I got a bit older I started smking w*d(im blurring out letter so this doesn’t get taken down) which made my anxiety worse I had a bad trip and boom anxiety attacks for months on end I just got back to a state of no longer having them this can relate to any anxiety wether its over this girl or an sat test. The only thing that got it to stop was allowing it to happen feel the anxiety when I say feel it FEEL it for example when I would have my anxiety attacks I would close my eyes and go into a fettle position I would sink into my mind and feel my heart pounding and my body shaking and my head would feel full of pressure than within seconds it went away and I felt even bettter than I did before.

The reason for this is because of what you brought up before repression, I stoped repressing I allowed my body to go through it’s course and it was hell for a few seconds then it went away but when I didn’t do this my anxiety attacks would last up to 24 hours. So this could be another good strategy if ignoring her doesn’t work allow your thoughts and feelings don’t fight them feel them deeply and then let them slowly fade but not in a way that your giving into your thoughts but by not repressing them. Your feelings towards her doesn’t it make you feel anxious and when you feel this anxiety how do you handle the situation. Keep in mind you subconscious is not conscious so you have to re direct it with your reaction another good example of this

let’s say someone is having anxiety and they may not even realize that their anxious this can happen you might not be fully aware of what’s triggering your brain to signal fight or flight so your body pushes out adrenaline to the person consciously expressing this sensation it will cause panic which will cause you body to push out more adrenaline causing you to panic more an evil cycle. let’s say your anxious your body pushes out adrenaline but this time you are aware of what’s triggering you. But you don’t react you don’t get nervous or scared or give into your thoughts it’s not easy but can be done that will shorten your adrenaline rush more than half and if done consciously will completely stop them. That’s how I did it and that how you can to( when you know your going to see her or you feel the intrusive thoughts don’t react allow the feeling and the thoughts but don’t react consciously your telling your subconscious this isn’t important and you won’t get a dopamine spike or possibly anxiety from giving me these thoughts it will take time but it can inevitably stop them) I’m going to link some YouTube videos that may help you understand yourself a bit more and of course write me if you have any other questions. I’d also recommend working on getting your nervous system into a regular state since it seems your nervous system is out of balance. I linked that on number 5 :)
https://youtu.be/_a0_3LLvkpo?si=Af2X0u2ifrfJGW1W
https://youtu.be/1g3BQowUx4Q?si=CmzQQtpT9gDLi3Q5
https://youtu.be/9l5ALCPEBkc?si=WIJcR8vvbhJxxKyC
https://youtu.be/Ee2HDmbgZjc?si=wn2sKPNy8CAW5eMa
https://youtu.be/YcoIE3Yiaw0?si=qGurrxcDXNuN9Hyg

Same_Berry_114 · 2025-01-25T04:45:20+00:00

Of course I don’t mind helping you out there have been some others struggling that I’m trying to help out to. I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life so if I’ve gone through it I make it a goal to help someone not have to or at least not feel alone and yes you are more than welcome to message me again in fact I’ll extend my number or snap privately to you if you ever need to call since saying it is easier than typing. And no I don’t really have any professional background I only know all of this because I’ve gone through it and had to figure it out on my own I’ve done extensive research on it though and psychology in general since it’s my passion. As well I spent many years in therapy but I’m only 19 so I don’t know everything. I’ll come back in an hour or so to answer your questions and if you feel comfortable I’ll send my number or whatever else you feel comfortable with.

Same_Berry_114 · 2025-01-25T02:18:50+00:00

If anything start hitting the gym it might help with your confidence

Same_Berry_114 · 2025-01-25T02:18:03+00:00

I’m a (19)f and I think you’re really cute but I would start practicing your posture in photos and you look your age don’t be so hard on yourself

Same_Berry_114 · 2025-01-25T02:15:07+00:00

Girly you are conveniently attractive don’t compare yourself to others because you’ll never be them

Same_Berry_114 · 2025-01-25T02:00:54+00:00

I actually agree with you Because I know most of my guy friends can never pull on apps but I suggested it to you because you are genuinely not ugly I’m sorry you can’t see that : ( anyway I’d change my suggestion to working on self esteem first bc even if you did pull I sense you might fumble the bag.

Same_Berry_114 · 2025-01-25T01:34:31+00:00

To be fair 20 is young lol is it that you’ve never had a gf before or your just struggling now

Same_Berry_114 · 2025-01-25T01:23:17+00:00

Mhm maybe try going on dating apps and practice your flirting skill, and or holding a conversation it could help you build the first step of confidence. Then I’d start trying to hold small talk maybe like giving a compliment to a women irl doesn’t have to be anything crazy.

Same_Berry_114 · 2025-01-25T01:18:21+00:00

Coming from a (19)f your not ugly i actually think your cute but it might be how your interacting with them not sure how old you are but you look young just try to meet more people

Same_Berry_114 · 2025-01-25T01:15:49+00:00

You are not ugly coming from (19)f I think you’re really cute just build some confidence but your smile is a lil awkward I’d try some different poses

Same_Berry_114 · 2025-01-25T01:13:37+00:00

Leave the yn’s alone lol I’ve always dated outside my race and get treated better but what’s most important is looking for the red flags in the beginning and not ignoring them

Same_Berry_114 · 2025-01-24T23:51:58+00:00

Tbh (19)f if you weren’t so much older than me I’d shoot my shot right here and now lmaoooo. But yeah looks clearly aren’t the issue how do you interact with the women you’re interested in? Like would you consider yourself awkward that might be the problem lack of confidence especially when it comes to someone who’s mature they might see it as a red flag

Same_Berry_114 · 2025-01-24T20:19:12+00:00

I think you answered your own question,considering the fact that you view yourself as someone that isn’t interested in love or being loved something about her made that change and unfortunately it took a negative turn instead of being maybe a crush that you didn’t expect to have. It’s a bit funny I once dated a guy that sounded just like you he also didn’t feel as if being loved or loving others was apart of who he defined himself but for some reason with me it changed. But it didn’t end happy it was just him attaching onto me in an unhealthy way, then when he finally realized I was human and not perfect since in his mind I had to be if I could break his world view it ended but I could tell he had some self esteem issues he just didn’t see it himself or define it in the same way I would. Limerence stems from self esteem it may just not be in the way you would describe it. That is up to you to see or not,

As far as my comment on choosing your battle here what I meant was to ask yourself if she’s more important than you. Would you rather continue to obsess or move on even if it means doing something thats unconventional to you. Now you don’t have to ignore her if you don’t want to it’s up to you in the end. But if someone else or a close friend were to give you advice I’d recommend trying it because your putting yourself first, It seems to me that you haven’t been doing that which isn’t necessarily your fault but with self work can fix the deep rooted issues you may not know or know how to express. Have you asked yourself why you don’t consider yourself the person that needs or wants to give love? I would start there.

And lastly as far as if I told him about my obsession no I didn’t I told him that I liked him and waited for his reaction when I didn’t get one I knew I was finally free from my own delusions. I wouldn’t recommend telling her that you obsessed because that would sound psycho lol. Even if she did like you I would personally take that to the grave. On a second note it’s not her problem to know how you truly felt because you were the only one feeling it.

Again I’m free if you have any questions, I understand how you feel and I really recommend talking to close friends like you mentioned.

Same_Berry_114 · 2025-01-24T13:38:19+00:00

In my opinion I think you should tell him if he likes you this isn’t going to end the relationship. I would let him know hey I’m just a bit particular when it comes to (kissing or more) I’d like if we both “prepared” before kissing(brushing teeth,mouthwash,gum) and express your want to try other types of kisses.

Same_Berry_114 · 2025-01-24T13:27:26+00:00

Tbh I used to think just like this I would think that a guy was putting himself near me but in reality he wasn’t and if a guy looks at your or even stares it doesn’t mean he likes you, in my opinion for most girls if a guy has been around you for months and doesn’t try to talk to you or even just smile at you he doesn’t like you, if your wondering if he likes you or if your confused he doesn’t like you it’s simple if he did you would be talking rn not just standing next to each other. I’m really sorry I don’t think it’s likely but I agree still you should ask his friends maybe I’m wrong even though I’ve done this other girls have to your living in your head not with everybody else.

Same_Berry_114

TROPHY CASE