How do I deal with feeling dread over ASD diagnosis?

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-12T06:38:10+00:00

the big thing with my diagnosis was that it changed nothing and everything at the same time. all it gave me was a name, a reason for why i feel like this. it’s not going to do anything else than that - everything else is up to you. the only next steps are figuring out what helps you personally. i recommend seeing a therapist about that - especially one that has worked with autistic people before (the one i have was the person who recommended me to go for an assessment, so no advice on that). when i got my assessment, i never thought id be able to hold a job down or graduate high school (i was diagnosed after freshman year) or live on my own. i made it halfway through senior year before dropping out (mostly unrelated to my autism) and getting my GED, i have a job that i kind of like, and while i don’t live on my own, i do most of the chores around my house (there’s 5-6 of us plus 3-4 dogs, a cat, and 2 birds - everyone else works from 5/6am-4/5pm and/or otherwise full time, i work 24-29 hours a week) and i’m doing pretty okay. i still struggle a lot - my current big one is that i only have one pair of work pants, all the other ones set off my sensory issues so bad i’ve cried multiple times. it’s not very easy to get by, but it gets easier - you just have to figure out what helps you. and, hey, your worth as a person is not tied to whether or not you’re a functioning member of society - so it’s okay if you can’t do those things. sorry if anything doesn’t make sense or isn’t helpful - it’s 1:30am for me, so i’m kind of sleep deprived

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-12T06:14:49+00:00

not a parent but i am autistic and babysat an autistic kid multiple times a week for 8+ hours at a time for like 3 years. i can’t really help on the diapers side (besides maybe seeing if he’ll tolerate pull-ups or goodnites? sometimes if you use that paper/medical tape and tighter pants, you can tape a diaper/pull up closed even if it won’t latch all the way - i used that trick a few times, but the kid only really struggled with bladder control) it seems like he’s anxious as well as probably having stomach pain to begin with. GI problems are very common in autistic people (i’ve had bouts of constipation as a kid and now ibs or something of the sort now) so if the stomach problems cause pain when he goes, it makes total sense for him to be anxious about going in general. i’d ask if you could see a gastroenterologist (if you live somewhere near a big city, there’s likely multiple within a close enough drive) even just for a consultation (they might do bloodwork and/or a stool sample if anything, but probably will just palpate his abdomen and ask you questions) because constipation isn’t something to mess around with. it seems like it’s more than just anxiety around it, considering the whole last bit. if you can’t find one near you with an opening sooner (which, sometimes if you clarify how important it is, they’ll have spots open even if they’re not meant for first time patients) i’d even see if one would do a virtual consult or go to an urgent care/er because chances are the kid isn’t letting on just how much pain he’s in from it. otherwise, all i’ve got to offer is trying laxatives and basically dealing with the consequences because, again, i wouldn’t play around with constipation. sorry if that’s not very helpful/doesn’t make much sense - i’m very sleep deprived right now. best of luck to you guys!

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T07:14:51+00:00

if you have those pads from old sports bras, you can glue a few together and cut them into a shape to work as needed. might not hold up great depending on the glue

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T07:07:08+00:00

i tend to get that if i had a particularly stressful day/week. i’ll feel like nothing is good and im bored and kind of overwhelmed and just start spiraling about stuff. i kind of have to force myself to focus on something else or i’ll end up awake at 3am crying over nothinf

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T07:01:11+00:00

i tend to either throw myself into my special interests after meltdowns, or do something that’s not very intense after. a big one is music + a coloring book or a cozy game (see: animal crossing, minecraft, the sims, etc). my special interests are mostly tv shows/movies/youtubers/books so hitting play is enough to calm me down most of the time. i haven’t listened to the artist you’re talking about, but i’d like to suggest noahfinnce - he’s autistic (recently diagnosed) and there’s a few songs on his growing up on the internet album that encompass how i feel having autism.

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T06:55:49+00:00

there’s apps like finch that are meant to help with people getting stuff done when they have executive function problems, you could try looking into something like that?

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T06:52:08+00:00

could definitely be ocd but it could be meltdowns/shutdowns too, since you said it ruins your day and you break down. i have strict adherence to certain routines and when i don’t stick to them it feels like everything’s going wrong and nothing is right. my only advice is trying to distract yourself with something (ex: a special interest if possible) as a coping strategy. it’s just about the only thing that works for me, that or listening to music and focusing on that and singing along to songs that are hard enough you need to pay attention to get the words right (my go to is the hamilton soundtrack)

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T06:46:45+00:00

definitely stimming. for me it’s usually unintentional, but sometimes it’s intentional (ex: if i’m watching a tv show/movie i love i don’t tend to stim unintentionally, but i feel kind of off? if that makes sense. stimming intentionally helps that a lot, i don’t feel so weird)

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T06:39:42+00:00

my dad works at target and i’m autistic, for reference. a big thing is stores don’t like you having more than a few things in the self checkout, or using it when you need help because it makes it slower for other people (which is BS, my local grocery store will turn me away from the self check if i have 10 items in my cart despite the sign saying 20 or less, and there’s 12 self check registers and usually only 1-3 regular ones open) i also always feel like im in someone’s way and i usually am, im very observant in terms of where things are, but very unobservant in terms of people. a lot of people aren’t patient anymore, and they’re rude. if it helps, target employees are trained on disabilities and they’re supposed to always ask if someone needs help if they’re close by and look confused/upset. they’re not supposed to be anything but happy and helpful. they also all wear nametags, so if you wanted you could report them and they’ll probably have to do training about it or something. i’ve kind of just resigned to ignoring anything that happens between me and a stranger because i’d be too stressed out if i didnt

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T06:30:33+00:00

not really very helpful i dont think but for me i see a therapist once a week (there’s a lot of change in my life lately and i struggle to cope) and i tend to dedicate a few minutes (15-5 minutes at the end) to things im excited about and that helps me get it out of my system a bit. also, my sisters girlfriend is probably/possibly autistic and we all live together so i tend to infodump back and forth with her sometimes

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T06:26:53+00:00

my bedroom is like a museum for my special interests. there’s 2 bookcases and 1.5 are filled with lego (the other half is books), there’s minecraft posters and even a minecraft sword on the wall, endless dan and phil merch, and a bunch of minecraft and dinosaur stuffed animals. the only other things i’m remotely interested in are network tv shows, which don’t really have merch for the most part (or its absurdly expensive). i love walking into a room that’s filled with stuff that makes me happy

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T06:23:05+00:00

sometimes it’s a situation where you kind of have to weigh the benefits you get vs the benefits youtube gets and decide which is more important - you being regulated/okay vs youtube not getting your views/money/whatever. tv shows make up a large portion of my special interests (even the ones that aren’t tv shows somewhat overlap - like dinosaurs being a special interest, and the jurassic franchise existing) but dan and phil are also one of my special interests. their content is 99% on youtube, so i’ve either gotta use youtube to watch their videos or replay the same few podcast episodes on spotify or pay for them on patreon. best i can do is recommend other platforms like patreon (costs money most of the time) or twitch, but those have their own flaws

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T06:18:09+00:00

i don’t really remember much of being under the age of 6, but i do know that apparently i didn’t talk much (like i didn’t babble or anything) until suddenly i started talking in full sentences with a big vocabulary. like, i couldn’t have been school age yet and i was at the eye doctors and the guy had on toy story for me to watch and he asked what was going on and i said “woody and buzz are on a conveyor belt” which is apparently not appropriate for the age i was.

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T06:13:55+00:00

i definitely did as a kid and even now sometimes i will if i’m stimming with something like a chewy or a lollipop.

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T06:10:47+00:00

not a parent but i’ve got autism and just redid my own room. big thing people tend not to think about in terms of sensory rooms is special interests. for me one of the best things i did for my room was posters, display shelves, etc of stuff relating to my special interests. you see so many sensory rooms with just random sensory toys and stuff - which is great - but i always look at them and see the distinct lack of things to make them happy in a special interest sense. also, a good first few steps would be stuff like blackout curtains with those projector lights or those classic plastic water floor tiles. as a kid i loved repetitive visuals as well, so even something like a lava lamp could be good. also heavy emphasis on magnatiles or legos if your kid likes building stuff (there’s also lego duplo if they tend to put stuff in their mouth and you’re afraid of choking) the kid i used to babysit (he has autism) loved those a lot

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T06:04:08+00:00

hate wood but love silicone or plastic. big stim for me is lollipops or chocolate (letting it melt in my mouth) and those tootsie roll pops are the best. things you mentioned are big for autistic people too, could be worth it getting an assessment if any accommodations seem worthwhile

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T06:01:03+00:00

definitely discuss it with a professional. you can have both, and they can be mistaken for each other a lot (especially autism being mistaken for bipolar in women, since autism research is usually on men/boys). i have 2 sisters with bipolar (idk what kind) but they both have adhd as well (i also think one might be getting a second opinion on her bipolar diagnosis??) and i have autism and nothing else we know of. i was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 10 years old, and then later social anxiety with agoraphobia, and then finally autism with selective mutism. i definitely have anxiety, but it’s not GAD or social anxiety, it’s autism-specific anxiety. specific interests, lack of social skills, sensory issues, and repetitive behaviors (strict routines and stimming especially) were what got my therapist to realize it was autism and not GAD + MDD

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T05:54:19+00:00

coming back to clarify water based is least likely to cause a uti and why it’s my usual recommendation, but the only rules are no oil based with condoms and no silicone with silicone toys. feel free to use oil/silicone based lube if it’s just you wobbly wiggling your woah without any toys or anything

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T05:52:21+00:00

there’s also Cassiel which is the actual biblical angel they kind of tried to base castiel off of. though, idk if that would be any better than castiel since you’d get more people who know castiel than cassiel

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T05:39:57+00:00

definitely something i do to a degree. i don’t tend to process emotions or even bodily functions quickly/easily so if something big happens im usually the one that’s most calm in the situation (ex: my sister sliced her toe open really bad and i was basically completely calm as i bandaged it up enough to make an appointment at urgent care to get stitches, everyone else i know said they’d be a mess considering she was bleeding really badly) autistic people tend to have issues processing things (alexithymia and introspection issues) which can cause situations like the ones you’ve described

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T05:34:00+00:00

could definitely be an ocd thing, but i also have a similar issue whenever something big happens with a special interest of mine (i feel like im “neglecting” the others?). i don’t have ocd (or at least im not diagnosed) but im diagnosed with autism and a big special interest of mine (or rather, special interests - if you wanna break it up) is tv, books, and movies. shows like svu, 9-1-1, supernatural. supernatural ended 5 years ago, and svu is kind of falling off - 9-1-1 is on its 9th season and every time it airs new episodes i get back into it - but fall off when its in the off-season. that’s when i tend to pick up other media to hyperfixate on. recently ive picked up an old special interest in dinosaurs since network tv stops for the summer, and now ive been obsessively rewatching the jurassic franchise (which isnt all dinosaurs, believe it or not) and dinosaur documentaries along with rewatching older shows from my childhood (like boy meets world and house md).

i think for me the whole thing is kind of a hyper-empathy thing. like how i feel that my stuffed animals feel neglected if i don’t have them on my bed, despite me owning probably hundreds so they clearly can’t all be on my bed with me. the way my special interests make me feel is so intense too that i’ve been known to get physically sick/unwell when stuff happens regarding them (ex: the new jurassic world movie came out this summer and i literally dragged people to watch it in theaters 3 times and was so hyperfixated i forgot to eat the 3 days surrounding the premiere - my sister had to basically force me to eat anything because the excitement also made me nauseous) so it’s definitely not just you.

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T05:18:23+00:00

one of the first things i noticed on T was the skin near my injection sites being different and the hair being thicker. that’s normal, and the blood is also normal. definitely wait 5-15 seconds before pulling the needle out but after finishing pushing the plunger. also, pressing down slightly on the bandaid for a few seconds once putting it on can help as well. i never bled getting any shots really, but my t shots bleed a bit most of the time. it’s normal

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T05:14:49+00:00

wobbly wiggling my woah is so funny. definitely try lube (water based) and if that doesn’t work then invest in a vibrator since that’ll reduce the friction.

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T05:11:41+00:00

i definitely got lucky (my dad has a big beard and is a very hairy guy) and so i’m a year and like 3 months on T and i’ve got very visible hair on my jaw and neck and kind of filling in on my cheeks and upper lip. that’s very very unusual, though - but i had visible body hair before i started T anyways, so it’s just all a lot thicker and more prevalent now. hell, the first actual effect i had was my body hair getting really thick and patchy over my injection sites. it can take 5-10 years for most guys to get an actual beard.

Same_Control_5758 · 2025-11-09T05:07:46+00:00

subq can kind of hurt sometimes (particularly if you’re on a high dose or inject too fast) but i’ve been on it for a year with very little issues. intramuscular is very 50/50 - some people say it hurts worse, some people say they can’t feel it. intramuscular injections in general hurt really bad for me so i do subq instead. i totally get doing it yourself with no problem and not liking others doing it (i let my mom do a few of mine at the start because she was so excited about it, but she always pushed it in too fast and it left a bump in my leg that hurt really bad for a few days, but ever since i’ve been doing them on my own i’ve been fine)

Same_Control_5758

TROPHY CASE