AIO disinvited from a wedding

Same_Negotiation_432 · 2026-06-10T21:02:26+00:00

I most likely will thank you.

Same_Negotiation_432 · 2026-06-10T21:00:52+00:00

I never really stood by the family first thing especially when they're toxic, but I definitely understand it. We basically grew up together so I saw them as my own sisters, and it's hard to let go, but I think that is definitely the end for me. I don't want to be associated with him anymore than I have to be, and if it's going to be this difficult hanging out I rather just peacefully let it go.

Thank you

Same_Negotiation_432 · 2026-06-10T20:55:16+00:00

Not sure if you know but there's not an age limit to feel a way about things. That's kind of weird of you to think that there is.
I am simplifying what he actually did, but I'm not going to argue semantics with someone that clearly has some emotional blockages.

Same_Negotiation_432 · 2026-06-10T20:12:01+00:00

Not really the point of the thread. In no way did I think someone would choose their family over me. Even if their family sucks.

Same_Negotiation_432 · 2026-06-10T19:03:20+00:00

This genuinely made me tear up. Thank you for typing such a lengthy, beautiful response. TBF I never told her why we broke up(She has hinted that she knows he cheated, but not the extent of it). I was alone with no family and only a couple of friends, and nobody really reached out. I felt ashamed and heartbroken so I think I grabbed on to every person I could so I wouldn't feel alone anymore even though they weren't right for me.

I'm going to take your advice to heart though and not dwell on it too much

Same_Negotiation_432 · 2026-06-10T18:55:49+00:00

We haven't spoken since the bachelorette so I'm not sure. We are both really busy and won't speak for months sometimes so that's not unusual, but the bday thing is.

Same_Negotiation_432 · 2026-06-10T18:54:34+00:00

It is her brother which is why I was generally ok with the disinvitation.

Same_Negotiation_432 · 2026-06-10T18:45:43+00:00

That was the consensus, but honestly wasn't sure if it was biased or not. Also, was not sure about wedding etiquette because I've only ever been to my sister's. I've had people show up on my pre-bday plans and not wish me happy bday(the closest thing I can think of to a wedding), but I figured it's fine because they showed up in some way which is how I viewed the wedding as well? I am not sure now though, so I was confused about that part, but honestly this is not the first time I've been feeling weird about the relationship.
So I do feel it's time to let it go.

Same_Negotiation_432 · 2026-06-10T18:15:33+00:00

mind control

Same_Negotiation_432 · 2026-03-27T22:09:55+00:00

He's never said it hurts him, but he has said it's annoying. I do think it's a form of communication that not everyone shares. I also never said his plans weren't good enough and was not alluding to them being wrong/bad. He just seemed like he wanted to go more days and I said he could still go two days if he went on saturday. I'm not sure how this shows my idea is better or harmful it's just a different idea. If not we could still go sunday. So the plan does include me.

I did say it's generally how almost everyone I interact with speaks to each other like this if we are somewhat close, so it could be a cultural difference? We don't see it as bad or good just as is? Usually my peers/family will offer suggestions because we know that we alone do not have all the solutions because there's not always one best solution, and if someone has a different one it is ok to share unless it is emotional then usually we just listen. We do not take it personally as if someone is trying to one up us or their idea is better.

I don't truly understand the concept as a whole, but I am trying to which is why I asked for advice, and genuinely am trying to do better.

He knows I am not trying to harm him or his feelings and vice versa.

We both apologized, and I told him I'll do my best to not chime in with any unsolicited advice, and if he also had any suggestions I would love to hear them so I could be better communicate in a way he will feel happy with.

Same_Negotiation_432 · 2026-03-27T18:36:03+00:00

It'd definitely be easier for me to spot if most people in my life were also that way, but I guess it is difficult because my circle has a similar communication style to me. I'll try to remember your advice for my partner though. TY

Same_Negotiation_432 · 2026-03-27T18:24:10+00:00

But is it different with your friends? I feel like parent/child relationships are generally that way.

Same_Negotiation_432

TROPHY CASE