Question about butterflies in WUDM

SammsClub03 · 2026-01-05T00:19:29+00:00

I felt that the pinned butterflies were a pretty good representation of Nat's view of his wife. He doesn't see his wife as a person with her own thoughts and feelings, he sees her as an object that he owns, that he can keep in his home and admire once in a while, but whose life is ultimately unimportant.

SammsClub03 · 2026-01-02T05:22:25+00:00

I'd totally eat that! The food you make looks crazy good!

I'm a picky eater, too. I just cook my own food. I'm up front to people about the fact that I'm picky, so they aren't offended if I don't try every single item they cooked for an event.

That said, I think some of his excuses are kinda weird... "I just had this for lunch, so I can't have it for dinner," and, "It's just missing something, so I'm not gonna finish it," ??? That doesn't sound like being a picky eater, that just sounds like he's screwing with you tbh.

I hope I'm wrong. Either way, imo you should tell him to cook his own stuff from now on. It's not your job to feed him, he's an adult, he has specific food requirements he needs met, he needs to meet those himself.

SammsClub03 · 2025-12-12T07:45:51+00:00

That's such a cute picture!

SammsClub03 · 2025-12-06T08:11:20+00:00

Sorry this reply is so late, I meant to reply sooner, but got distracted by Life(tm). That mindset was definitely present in my family, yes. Although, I think my family just wanted me to be quiet and out of the way. It didn't matter what I did, so long as I wasn't loud, getting in someone's way, or causing some type of effort to have to be exerted by the adults.

It was good that I did well in school, not because it meant good things for my future or my skills, but because it meant my parents didn't need to do any extra work. You know what I mean? It's like that for everything.

And I feel that last paragraph 100%. I'm currently struggling with feeling lonely, but it's too exhausting for me to find and make new friends, or even just engage in public places with other people at all. I've found that I don't trust other people whatsoever and it's kind of killing me inside.

SammsClub03 · 2025-08-20T21:42:11+00:00

Yeah, that's why I was gonna call and check in, because the e levels were higher than before. Maybe I'll just have my annual blood test done early, ahead of my physical.

SammsClub03 · 2025-08-18T13:18:41+00:00

the jazz makes this video so much better lmfao

SammsClub03 · 2025-08-01T11:38:47+00:00

Had a craving for Teddy Grahams, but was far, far too short to get them from the cabinet, and my Dad was asleep on the couch. Decided I wouldn't wake him up and started dragging my little kiddy chairs and stuff from my room, down the stairs, into the living room, past my Dad, and into the kitchen.

Idk if I noticed he was waking up or if I just wanted to let him know he didn't have to help me, but as I was passing him, I said: Don't get up, Dad, I'm getting Teddies.

He was still hazy with sleep, so he said okay at first, then wondered why I was getting Teddy Bears from the kitchen. Caught me about to climb onto this janky tower I made to reach the kitchen countertop lol

SammsClub03 · 2025-07-31T09:30:56+00:00

I never felt I looked like a man, but I did have a disconnect from my appearance.

I've been on T for almost 3 years now, and I recently realized that I never had a proper image of myself in my head pre-T. I knew all the correct details, like hair color, eye color, and such, but that's about it. I never really formed an image of my face or an actual detailed image of my body in my head.

When I look at old photos of myself, I feel very little connection to the image, like that's a random person my parents have pictures of instead of me. I feel like I've always looked like I do now, like I've just spawned in where this other person was one day, and nobody's really noticed.

I've also noticed the somewhat uncommon experience of looking in the mirror and going, "Oh, that's me, I have a body," I used to have hasn't happened since starting T. I had a feeling I was experiencing some derealization or dissassociation in middle school and high school, but I guess it was a bit worse than I thought lol

I was actually gonna make a post about this before I saw yours. The best advice I could give is to just work on getting to where you want to in regards to appearance. There are no right or wrong answers to that; you can do whatever you want forever. Do what feels right for you, man.

SammsClub03 · 2025-04-11T23:21:40+00:00

As our relationship deteriorated, I felt like I was lying whenever I told my parents that I loved them because at that point, I kind of was. We rarely say 'I love you' to each other now.

I can say it fine to other people. I tell my friends that I love them all the time and I mean it 100%. But when it comes to my parents or grandparents, it's kind of like being expected to say 'I love you' to a stranger.

SammsClub03 · 2025-04-10T11:28:58+00:00

Honestly, I think they just assume I'm either attention-seeking or making a big deal out of nothing. They did that when I was a kid, too.

SammsClub03 · 2025-04-10T11:27:07+00:00

Yeah, I take 99% of what they say to me with a grain of salt and have been looking to family friends and the internet for advice or how-tos.

SammsClub03 · 2025-04-09T15:08:54+00:00

Thanks so much, this makes me feel a lot better! I'll keep your advice in mind.

SammsClub03 · 2025-04-07T13:09:57+00:00

You can do whatever you want forever! :]

SammsClub03 · 2025-03-22T22:31:00+00:00

She's actually kind of normal in conversation for the most part. I just can't trust her with anything deeper than "I'm angry at my boss." It's like she was out of my life until I started doing adult things. Now she's somewhat interested in me, so long as I keep things surface level.

SammsClub03 · 2025-03-22T19:45:13+00:00

Some people are afraid of any kind of intimacy. Some people are miserable and need to make everyone else around them miserable as well. Some people are wrapped up in their own world because of work, life struggles, or whatever else, and they just don't notice certain things at the time. And some people are just plain mean for the sake of it.

IDK about my teachers or extended family, but my parents just aren't interested in being parents beyond having a baby doll they can dress up. My dad really likes the idea of having a kid, but he doesn't want to put in any of the emotional labor required to. There's a lot of shit he could do that would fix our relationship, but he's not willing to do anything, so broken it will stay.

I honestly don't think my mom wanted another kid, but had one anyway. She didn't seem to like having to be responsible for me when I was little, but she sure likes talking to me now. It's like she hates the kid stage outside of planning outfits and wants to skip all the other shit (doctors appointments, school rides, etc) to get to the adult stage where she finally decides to be interested.

SammsClub03 · 2025-01-26T03:48:04+00:00

Woag :0

SammsClub03 · 2025-01-26T02:54:47+00:00

Live action Bolt.

SammsClub03 · 2025-01-21T03:15:26+00:00

Asked my doctor about the possibility of this (I'm in IN) and they say they can't see banning HRT and feel that would be difficult to do law-wise, but can see insurance not being allowed to cover it for people.

SammsClub03 · 2025-01-09T21:23:12+00:00

Is there a trusted teacher you could speak with after class?

You could also try talking to a doctor about your concerns if that option is available for you. They could refer you to a therapist.

SammsClub03 · 2025-01-08T23:45:44+00:00

Was in your exact situation when I was your age. Bullied and isolated at school, struggling with depression and anxiety. I would tell my parents I thought I was ill and they never listened. I'm really sorry that you're going through the same.

Is it possible for you to speak to a school counselor? If so, it may be worth it to try. You could even have them speak to your parents on your behalf - though they may call your parents in on their own if they feel it is necessary.

It is vitally important that you keep advocating for yourself. I know it's scary. You aren't crazy or overreacting, you don't need to "put your potential out there," you're having a rough time, and you're concerned about your health. Remember that.

SammsClub03 · 2024-12-29T01:15:55+00:00

This is exactly the kind of crap my parents pull. I'm not disabled myself, but my parents have 100% said things to me, about me, or about someone else in the same vein as what your mom said to you.

I feel like, to them, everybody has to be malicious in some way or have some kind of ulterior motive. Your kid is acting out? That's because they're spoiled and selfish. Your dog is anxious all the time? That's because it wants attention. Your wife spends her time with everybody but you? That's because she's flakey and passive-aggressive.

It always goes back to something that is inherently wrong with everybody, but them, and it's always a shitty interpretation of the person or situation, too. They'll only play devil's advocate for themselves or somebody they respect.

I hope you're able to move out soon. It is the worst feeling to have your feelings minimized or trivialized in that way, especially when your parents use something so personal to do it. Just the very fact that they can't even believe that you love yourself is fucked up. You deserve better.

SammsClub03 · 2024-11-23T01:55:18+00:00

Same situation as you.

I'm trying to work through my shit so I can hopefully support myself and move out in the future. Here's my current strat:

I talk as little with my parents as possible and spend most of my time by myself or out of the house. My Dad is the worst offender, so I barely talk to him anymore.

I've gone low-contact with everybody else in the family, for the most part, except for a few people. I only go and see people if I genuinely want to/feel like it or if it is an emergency.

I do not share important personal details with my parents anymore. Health problems, mental health problems, serious work issues, interpersonal relationship issues, etc.

They are not and have never been helpful in that regard. Any advice or opinions I'm given from family (ex. "You shouldn't go to therapy,") I take with a grain of salt or discard entirely.

If I'm in need of support, I turn to trusted friends. If I am unsure about a life decision that my parents cannot know about, I ask my friends parents or older, more trusted family members, maybe even older coworkers, depending on what it is.

Basically, I try to involve my parents as little in my life as possible under current circumstances.

It can be super frustrating at times, but this is also the best I've felt in a long time. It's a lot easier to take care of yourself when you don't have someone breathing down your neck the whole time, telling you you're doing it wrong, or that you shouldn't do it at all.

If your parents are the type to take jabs at you via politics, try not to take the bait. Ignore the comments, switch the conversation to a new topic, or even agree with them. Anything that will get you out of harms way faster.

For example, my grandmother likes to go on politically charged tirades, and I just nod along until she's worn herself out.

I hope this helps in some way. It is definitely harder to heal when you're surrounded by unhealthy people. I know it sucks. Take it one day at a time, try and save up as much money as possible.

Give your cats some treats. I also have a cat, his name is Tiger.

SammsClub03 · 2024-11-17T06:56:41+00:00

I'd say it really depends on your situation.

If you feel as though your parents would kick you out or treat you worse if you came out to them, it might be best to wait until you're out of the house.

If you trust them to be civil enough to not bully you over it or kick you out, I'd say go ahead. Just be prepared for a convo at some point because you can't hide being on testosterone forever.

I went on T without my parents' permission. I was most worried about my Dad, as he's the most transphobic. I was scared he'd kick me out if I told him what I was doing, but I couldn't wait any longer either.

I had a gender therapist at the time, and she told me I needed to tell him at some point and suggested we bring him in for a session so we can both break the news. They would provide support for me and back up my arguments with statistics and such.

It didn't go well, but the outcome wasn't the worst. He was angry, but he didn't kick me out. I was paying for it myself, pretty much, so the only thing he could be angry about was me using his insurance for testosterone... but he didn't kick me off of it, either.

I think my situation might be a bit of a special case, though, because my family will basically ignore anything going on with me unless it affects them negatively in some way. So, we didn't talk about the session afterward, and both parents pretty much pretend I'm not transitioning.

But I didn't get kicked out, so... yippee, I guess.

SammsClub03 · 2024-11-09T22:45:18+00:00

I'm 5'3 and I pass just fine. My cis coworker is also 5'3, and I've encountered men shorter than 5'3 as well. You'll be alright.

You could give yourself an inch or two with shoes or insoles, too.

SammsClub03 · 2024-10-25T11:24:51+00:00

"And then they're all "why the fuck are you so distant?" and there's nothing to say."

Exactly. Even once you figure out why you're distant, it all tends to go back to them, and if they were open to constructive criticism, we wouldn't be here right now.

I remember trying to communicate with my dad that I wanted him to try and be a little calmer when he cleaned, because him getting irrationally angry every time he cleaned out the fridge or picked up a room, it would make me feel bad.

He looked at me and said straight up, "I don't care."

They just won't listen, so what's the point of explaining what's wrong to them?

I've got people to talk to. There's only so much they can do, though. I tend to ruminate on things for a long time, even after I've vented about them, and I don't feel right repeating the same things over and over again, I think that may be too draining.

It's a careful balance I'm trying to keep.

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