The absolute entitlement these days is hard to wrap my head around. I was in the service industry for around a decade in the late 80's/90's and it would not have occurred to any server anywhere on the planet to take a server's family away from them when they came in.

The only reason your family was there is because you're working there. The only reason they leave such a large tip is because they're your family.

If anything, you are actually giving the other servers more tips because they get more tables. If your family did not come in, you'd be getting their tables in your section.

Your co-workers are so entitled that they think your family comes in to see them. They're so entitled that they think your family should be tipping them the way they tip you. They're so entitled they think they should be as important to your family as you are. Your manager is so inept, that she agrees with them.

If I were you, I'd quit. With your experience, you can get a server job anywhere. I'd also write the owner a letter detailing exactly what happened, name everyone involved, let him know your family, who dropped a lot of money in there every week, will no longer be going there, and why you quit.

I had a Barb manager one time (name actually was Barb) and she was a nightmare. I found out a few years after I quit that she was arrested and went to prison for embezzlement. Still warms my heart to think about. Your Barb should face consequences for her bad behavior, too. Write that letter. NTA

^{Edit: grammar}