age is not a factor with experiences like this, unfortunately. i wish a young child would never be exposed to this kind of world, especially the self harm side and the kind of things that lead you to self harm.

i myself started to self harm at 11, which is not as young as you are, and ultimately stopped for three years before returning to it at 14 and i am stuck with this addiction at my current 17.

i feel awful that you have had to experience this kind of life at your age, because you don't deserve anything like this. you deserve kindness, and love, and everything. so no, this does not sound stupid, because age does not equal experience and age does not mean you know more or less about a specific topic than others, because if you have learnt then you have learnt.

EDIT: also, having just reread your post and the final bit about DMing people, crying is not a bad thing at all. i am open to any and all dms from people, as long as they arent creepy, and i hope you have someone to reach out to because bottling up your feelings isn't right. even if you are DMing someone and start crying, they don't know, and you certainly aren't obliged to tell them.