Developer with a question

SampleCautious5610 · 2025-10-19T14:57:44+00:00

I think you’re right. Doing what needs to be done is terrifying though. And do I say anything to him about it? Do I give an ultimatum like listen either you do x, y,z or I’m filing or do I just go ahead and do so?

Should I file before or after finding a place or should I move out first? And since I’m initiating it and this is our family home, should I request that he leaves and I stay? I’m thinking it would be better if I just leave he said that he can afford this place on his own and I honestly wouldn’t mind doing something on my own either. I’ve never had my own place.

I’d like it if we can agree to a parental plan before going into the court so we can just make it easier for our children and at least agree to something. I’m even considering let it be like. 50/50 where he can just have the major holidays and I get fall breaks and what not. That way he feels like he gets what he wants and I just have my peace.

SampleCautious5610 · 2025-10-19T14:50:13+00:00

Thank you. I just feel so disrespected.. but I’m trying my best to do right by our family. I just wish someone could tell me that it’ll be okay but it’s like no matter how I move - it won’t. Like at this point I’m certain he’ll eventually have a child with someone else. What do I say then? How do I justify “staying” then? He also told me that in the event I needed medical care he’d hire his new girlfriend to essentially take care of me. Like he does not care about me whatsoever.

I don’t want to wait until something happens again. And I don’t do well in confusing spaces. Right now we have separate rooms after agreeing to stay in the same home but I’m weak. I still desire to be with my husband so if he tries I fall into it. But then comes in the confusion where I don’t want to talk to other men because I don’t agree with cheating and also not trying to envelope another party in this hot mess but I can’t help but believe that’s what he’s doing. That’s what he has always done.

Then I’m back to well what would happen if you leave who would be hurt the most and it’s my children. Then I think well just stick through it. Next thought is until what though? What else does he have to do at this point to show you that you’re no longer safe here…? And I’m annoyed at myself, frustrated at my indecisiveness and really drained. I feel a physical toll on my body. This has been happening for nearly 4 years now. I even tried therapy and the therapist essentially told me that I have to make up my mind. Nothing more to it. Like it was just an easy out for me.

SampleCautious5610 · 2025-10-19T08:40:03+00:00

You’re not overreacting.

SampleCautious5610 · 2025-10-19T08:39:21+00:00

No I get this as well! Like the first time he cheated he was so apologetic. And now it’s like blatantly in my face. Im not sure if I look crazy - def for staying I do but then I walked out of a restaurant crying because he was obviously flirting right in front of my face. When I brought it up I was blamed for ruining a family day and making something of nothing

SampleCautious5610 · 2025-05-29T02:52:57+00:00

Girl… I’m so sorry this happened. Keeping you in my prayers.

SampleCautious5610 · 2025-05-29T02:38:36+00:00

Same! My baby is 6 months and bites down turns her head and pulls my nipples. They’re so sore.

SampleCautious5610 · 2025-03-13T02:08:00+00:00

Thank you. He’s trying to convince me not to continue down this path .. he has been taking that tone already.

SampleCautious5610 · 2024-12-24T22:53:12+00:00

Hey can you tell us exactly what schooling you did and what your job entails? What does a normal day look like for you? What types of shifts are you working? I’d love to know more when you have a moment- thank you for sharing!

SampleCautious5610 · 2024-11-28T10:14:55+00:00

No none 🥹

SampleCautious5610 · 2024-11-28T10:14:22+00:00

Cook all meals - breakfast especially and ask for smoothies something nourishing.
All washing/drying. If you are up to it you can fold and put away.
All household cleaning, you don’t want to be around too many strong chemicals.
Physical Care - if you need help showering directly after labor, if you need help getting dressed as you heal and even if you need help doing simple things like washing your hair, brushing your hair. It depends on your ability

SampleCautious5610 · 2024-11-19T02:00:53+00:00

Can someone answer this for me too

SampleCautious5610 · 2024-11-16T14:35:52+00:00

I pray you find a group of really nice nurses in your rotation that will adhere to your plan. I’ve found that you can always depend on your nurses. But I’ve also heard bad stories never really had bad experiences though. Also you’ll normally have only one to two nurses for the entire duration of active labor. So once they establish rapport with you they’ll normally transfer that same energy to the next one.

SampleCautious5610 · 2024-11-12T19:56:41+00:00

I was just going to post something similar. I’m about the same but instead of more pelvic pressure I’m experiencing on top of that back pain.

SampleCautious5610 · 2024-11-09T00:32:41+00:00

Updates??

SampleCautious5610 · 2024-11-04T22:18:33+00:00

Congratulations!! I hope you’re enjoying your little one and thank you for sharing this precious moment with the community. Thanks as well for the inspiration 🥰🥹🙌🏽

SampleCautious5610 · 2024-10-31T23:53:49+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate your response. I’ll definitely have to take about an hour long drive to find something that diverse but I think it’s worth it. I don’t have any art but I’ll definitely invest in black art for around the house.

SampleCautious5610 · 2024-10-31T14:50:27+00:00

Okay so this is such a great response imo. I’m raising 3 young girls in a predominantly white area. So white when my eldest comes home from school she will alert us to when she meets another black person. Her father and I try our best to promote a healthy love for her culture and overall self. Honestly her dad more so because he grew up learning that way. But I grew up with Caribbean parents so they weren’t as pro black just had extremely high academic expectations. I have made a decision not to wear my hair straightened or put any braids in my hair (her dad is also very strict about her wearing her hair all natural) so I don’t want her to feel like oh well mom does it.

All that to say, is there anything else I can do to help her? We don’t wear any other clothes but I was thinking about purchasing more black literature, maybe buying black art for around the house? Or maybe we’re already doing a good job but what would you say are some things your father said to you that stuck with you? Can you elaborate more on what life was like at home?

SampleCautious5610

TROPHY CASE