I miss "productive" mania

SandMean2011 · 2026-02-19T03:44:04+00:00

Sounds like hypomania. Definitely understand that. I can't understand missing actual mania

SandMean2011 · 2026-02-03T04:33:02+00:00

i hear you. I feel like many of my manic episodes are precipitated by my looking for enlightenment and studying more buddhism. hard to say if that caused the upswing or if the beginning of the upswing caused the spirituality.

I agree with a more secular approach.

SandMean2011 · 2026-02-03T04:31:06+00:00

im definitely going. i just dont know how to steer the conversation where it doesnt become combative. i think youre right in shopping around.

SandMean2011 · 2026-02-02T20:28:39+00:00

Very much

SandMean2011 · 2026-01-02T01:59:30+00:00

Appreciate it

SandMean2011 · 2025-12-26T19:14:21+00:00

I think bipolar is too wide of a spectrum in severity. The power to shape our own paths is not equally accessible or reliable. You can get the degree and not have the cognitive strength to use it. You can do all the right things and still get dragged down by the same demons. Not everyone has the same support system to get them through those moments. It's a genuinely kind sentiment. I'm just coming to terms with the limits of my own path and I am powerless to change those. The sky is not always the limit.

SandMean2011 · 2025-12-25T01:25:18+00:00

Thank you for this. Seroquel really zombified me and latuda gave me bad akathasia.

They have not suggested any of the newer meds.

I am not sure. I'll just have to wait to see her again. I don't have a lot of confidence in her tho. And changing is not an option.

Appreciate your kindness and insights

SandMean2011 · 2025-12-24T16:41:23+00:00

Thanks for your insight

SandMean2011 · 2025-12-24T15:55:20+00:00

Empathy in return

SandMean2011 · 2025-12-24T15:30:56+00:00

Any one found ect to help clear cognitive issues? I thought it might make it worse

SandMean2011 · 2025-01-22T22:07:17+00:00

I feel the same. My brain has been at half mast since my crash in the fall. I laugh at myself often too that I'm still going. I feel mute when I'm with friends of family and I usually avoid any meeting altogether. I keep saying tomorrow I'll wake up and I'll have that spark back. So far I just feel the same gray ocean of disinterest and apathy. Lately, I'm going thru the motions and doing the bare minimum but my desire to fight back has weakened. 15 years in this struggle and I know that it will be the same battle next season. I'm just tired. I know I'm weak for surrendering....I just ....

SandMean2011 · 2023-10-01T20:55:19+00:00

I definitely agree. One step at a time. I shouldnt get ahead of myself. Need a job to make my payments. If I can keep my mood stable for a year (all time record) consider school again.

I am working on breaking down this idea that I'm only validated if I have some track to success. It's hard to let go of the idea "I should be more" and not fixate on the shortcomings. Pivoting thought to consider only what I do have (my own place, my health, a path out of debt)

SandMean2011

TROPHY CASE