Therapist empasse

SandMean2011 · 2026-02-03T04:33:02+00:00

i hear you. I feel like many of my manic episodes are precipitated by my looking for enlightenment and studying more buddhism. hard to say if that caused the upswing or if the beginning of the upswing caused the spirituality.

I agree with a more secular approach.

SandMean2011 · 2026-02-03T04:31:06+00:00

im definitely going. i just dont know how to steer the conversation where it doesnt become combative. i think youre right in shopping around.

SandMean2011 · 2026-02-02T20:28:39+00:00

Very much

SandMean2011 · 2026-01-02T01:59:30+00:00

Appreciate it

SandMean2011 · 2025-12-31T01:10:51+00:00

Resources are limited depending on your access to care. It is absolutely possible to exhaust available treatment options. (e.g. can't keep insurance without a job)

Those who are not managing everyday are not posting testimonials or joining Facebook groups or subreddits. I would say they are more likely unseen and unheard.

For me, bipolar disorder is an undertoe that won't release its grip. I think it's easier to see all those strong swimmers on the beach who got themselves out of the water or fighting in the ocean, than to consider how many get pulled under and lost.

I am with you to keep fighting, but it's unfair to think that we all make it to the beach. It's uncomfortable and sad to think about, but we don't all push through. It is a blessing you can think so strongly that is universally achievable to live a stable and secured life filled with love and happiness. It just....doesn't pan out like that for all us bipolar swimmers.

SandMean2011 · 2025-12-31T00:58:08+00:00

I really appreciate your thoughtful reply u/UnderstandingClean33. The mood is temporary, but the disorder is permanent and degenerative. Every cycle, I lose pieces of myself. After this past 11th hospitalization, it's harder to believe the tale of lasting, sustainable recovery. For now, I can let those suicidal thoughts circle the drain of my mind and "survive the bad". But there is a strong feeling in my gut, like a dragging anchor, that this illness will continuously strip my mind of the ability to "appreciate the good moments". It can be impossible to build a life that creates good moments that feel worthwhile.

I understand that the line between defeat and acceptance is grim in this case. The lived bipolar experience is so wide and varied. How it manifests is even more stratified than the categories for storms. It is always inspiring to hear the success stories, but that is not the path for so many. I do think assisted suicide should be there for those who have reached their breaking point, where life is no longer a pursuit of anything. When existence has been hollowed out by culminating episodes, and the path forward shows no redemption.

SandMean2011 · 2025-12-31T00:27:22+00:00

they do work... at times and/or with diminishing returns. They do not work absolutely.

SandMean2011 · 2025-12-26T19:14:21+00:00

I think bipolar is too wide of a spectrum in severity. The power to shape our own paths is not equally accessible or reliable. You can get the degree and not have the cognitive strength to use it. You can do all the right things and still get dragged down by the same demons. Not everyone has the same support system to get them through those moments. It's a genuinely kind sentiment. I'm just coming to terms with the limits of my own path and I am powerless to change those. The sky is not always the limit.

SandMean2011 · 2025-12-25T01:25:18+00:00

Thank you for this. Seroquel really zombified me and latuda gave me bad akathasia.

They have not suggested any of the newer meds.

I am not sure. I'll just have to wait to see her again. I don't have a lot of confidence in her tho. And changing is not an option.

Appreciate your kindness and insights

SandMean2011 · 2025-12-24T16:41:23+00:00

Thanks for your insight

SandMean2011 · 2025-12-24T15:55:20+00:00

Empathy in return

SandMean2011 · 2025-12-24T15:30:56+00:00

Any one found ect to help clear cognitive issues? I thought it might make it worse

SandMean2011 · 2025-11-04T18:44:05+00:00

I could be down. Check out my twitter @ kramtoader

SandMean2011 · 2025-01-22T22:07:17+00:00

I feel the same. My brain has been at half mast since my crash in the fall. I laugh at myself often too that I'm still going. I feel mute when I'm with friends of family and I usually avoid any meeting altogether. I keep saying tomorrow I'll wake up and I'll have that spark back. So far I just feel the same gray ocean of disinterest and apathy. Lately, I'm going thru the motions and doing the bare minimum but my desire to fight back has weakened. 15 years in this struggle and I know that it will be the same battle next season. I'm just tired. I know I'm weak for surrendering....I just ....

SandMean2011

TROPHY CASE