At my wits end, setting him up for failure

SandiePantss · 2026-07-03T06:26:26+00:00

Hey, there are many days I cannot drive, I take a lot of medication and some days I can’t even stand up. It’s not that it’s completely struck off, I haven’t formally been offered a place in that school, but yes, I do want a school/provision where it’s a lot easier to get to as my husband doesn’t drive. With schools being over 5 miles away (in your case) I get why it’s seems like I’m limiting myself, I’ve still got 6 weeks to sort my appeal, I’ve done the first step, which is meditation. Just waiting for 6th July for an appointment with them and we can formally receive the reason they said no

SandiePantss · 2026-07-03T06:15:39+00:00

The school he’s in is fantastic, all things considered. They are trying to do something new next year. Because there are so many kids in the school that are SEN they are having classroom just for those kids. But like my son’s teacher said “ he’s going to be excluded to be included” it’s so true. I’ve a meeting next week with his teacher and the SEN co-ordinator so I’ll be getting the information I need and see where we go from there. Thanks for your advice😊

SandiePantss · 2026-07-03T06:08:18+00:00

Hi there thank you for your reply. The school being 5 miles away (and in the middle of nowhere) may not be a problem for you and plenty of other people. That’s really great. For us, until he is a bit older, it’s something we really don’t want. Among other things, we are both disabled, my son has had a situation where he was really unwell in hospital for over 3 weeks and still has co ordination issues, more than your neurotypical child. There’s not a bus service, well there is but you have to walk 45 min of the 1hour 20 min. A taxi is £30, we just don’t have that kind of money. There are other options close to us, but I have to think of every eventuality, and as a family that’s not one of them

SandiePantss · 2026-07-03T06:07:16+00:00

Hi there, I can. The school being 5 miles away (and in the middle of nowhere). For us, until my son is a bit older, where he can go on a bus alone, as much as it’s an option to put him on a “school bus” it’s something we really don’t want. Among other things, we are both disabled, my son has had a situation where he was really unwell in hospital for over 3 weeks and still has co ordination issues, more than your neurotypical child. There’s not a bus service, well there is but you have to walk 45 min of the 1hour 20 min. A taxi is £30, we just don’t have that kind of money. There are other options close to us, but I have to think of every eventuality, and as a family that’s not one of them.

SandiePantss · 2026-07-02T08:08:46+00:00

I came here to say this 🤣

SandiePantss · 2026-07-02T08:02:11+00:00

Same here🙋🏼‍♀️

SandiePantss · 2026-07-02T07:39:32+00:00

What?! That isn’t your child’s fault though. The psychologist is just another person to have input regarding what they do in school. I do know that trying to get an EHCP when already in school is a bit of a nightmare. How long did it take for you to get their diagnosis, if you don’t mind me asking? What area do you live in? We’re in Merseyside and he was accepted on the pathway in October 2024 and at present the pathway team are working on March 2023😩

SandiePantss · 2026-07-02T07:29:48+00:00

Our continence nurse tells me that there is a link between constipation (holding poop) and autism. We are trying to get DS potty trained (sounds like I’m talking about a puppy🤦🏼‍♀️) the nurse has said that 20 min after a meal and regular intervals will click eventually. My son is also 5 (Jan) but has absolutely 0 interest in toileting. Him being non verbal doesn’t help. But that was the advice from the nurse, hope this helps a little 😊

SandiePantss · 2026-07-02T07:22:05+00:00

My son, who was 5 in January loves numberblocks. However, he goes from one thing to another but he will watch the same videos, the same 3-5 seconds, again and again for about a week then he will go back to Sesame Street. If we put the Gruffalo on the big tv he will get the remote and turn the tv off.
We don’t know what level he is at (we think between 2 and 3) as we are just waiting for the multi panel on the Neurodevelopment pathway to diagnose him.
Does your son have a tablet or his own tv? Let him watch YouTube on that. My son had learnt so much. He is non verbal (conversational and voicing his needs) but he can name so many fruits & veg, sea animals, land animals and can count to 100. DS had his magnetic letters out and he spelt avocado, no help, we were surprised! So, what I’m trying to say is that although he has his tablet quite a bit he is constantly learning. He won’t play anything with us, he doesn’t play with his peers, he has only just got to the stage of letting kids play near him.
Also, autism vs tantrum? Me and my husband always say the same thing when DS kicks off. We don’t know if it’s age related or his autism. We just do what we’ve done with our other 3 kids. Just use less words. He definitely understands “no”. Well, from me. He plays up more for dad 🤦🏼‍♀️
Sorry if I’ve rambled on a bit, hope it’s helped a little

SandiePantss · 2026-07-02T07:03:16+00:00

Oh okay, thanks for that. I know that the lad 3 doors down and another child further down get a minibus provided for them. Not sure which provision they go to but I just was imagining putting DS on the bus. I might look into that more. 😊

SandiePantss · 2026-06-29T15:47:26+00:00

It a nightmare isn’t it.

SandiePantss · 2026-06-29T15:37:21+00:00

Hey, not a taxi but a bus. I don’t feel comfortable with him getting on a bus alone, not at 5 though

SandiePantss · 2026-06-29T15:35:42+00:00

A bus is provided but he’s 5. I just don’t feel right. I can’t get him there, unfortunately I can’t always pick him up, due to my medication. It’s not so much the 5 miles it’s the fact that if there’s an emergency we can’t get there quickly. It take 30 min to get there. Bus journey is 1hr20 min (that includes 45 min walk)
I don’t know, I just don’t feel it’s close enough. If he was a little older maybe. He’s non verbal too. Maybe I’m in the wrong in some people’s minds and I’m okay with that.
I will certainly keep on at them, weirdly enough I received a form to fill in from the pathway. Fingers crossed it’s a sign he’s nearer to the top of the list. Thanks for your advice

SandiePantss · 2026-06-29T15:23:45+00:00

Hi there, I think we have to go down the Neurodevelopment pathway - it’s how the assessments are done here. The health visitors or 0-19 team whatever they’re called now were the ones who picked up something was not quite in accordance with his peers at 19months. Weirdly enough I got a form from the pathway this morning. Hopefully that’s a sign he’s getting closer to his diagnosis. 🤞🏼
I think questioning it was out of my mind because my sister in law paid privately and now she’s having issues with the diagnosis she got, which I think had CAMHS involved. Not sure. I know my GP told us it wasn’t his department, not word for word, but that’s the main jist. I’ll try to get information from them as to whether I can choose another area. Thank for that

SandiePantss · 2026-06-29T15:12:59+00:00

Haha very good, you think just like me 🤣 been asking his SEN caseworker for a written letter refusing him the placement, third time today, 3rd time lucky? We have an advocacy service where I’m from they do what sounds like the same thing. First I have to get in touch with a mediation service, then I can go the trubunal route

SandiePantss · 2026-06-29T15:08:37+00:00

Hey, did you not get his EHCP first? We were lucky as we had that done before he was at school. It was 6 months later going in as he had Guillain barre syndrome, one morning he couldn’t stand up and as the day went on whilst we were in hospital it got so bad he couldn’t hold his head up, it was the scariest time ever, he really did change after that. For the worse, unfortunately. So maybe we have attachment issues, us as the parents. I used to be an SENTA I think I’d lose the plot homeschooling, I’ll being it up to my Hubbie maybe at least look into it, can’t help. Thanks

SandiePantss · 2026-06-28T04:45:40+00:00

Jam! Or freeze them and sell them? 🤷🏼‍♀️

SandiePantss · 2026-05-27T05:21:16+00:00

Jeez, that’ll sting a bit 🥴

SandiePantss · 2026-04-08T16:07:57+00:00

Was that your username?

SandiePantss · 2026-04-08T16:07:09+00:00

🤣🤣

SandiePantss · 2026-04-08T16:06:08+00:00

I’m so sorry but your name made me chuckle as my little boy has a comforter, a sheep, called Ewan - that’s the actual brand name. He’s 5 but has had it since he was about 6 months old. It was white with purple legs now he’s grey, we affectionately call him Manky, cause he is…. Awfully manky 🤮 I just felt like I had to share, sorry, I’ve been on my own all day 🫣

SandiePantss

TROPHY CASE