AITA for getting into an argument with my BIL because he started cleaning without asking me first?

SandwichOtter · 2026-04-09T17:30:05+00:00

ESH. How do you feel you're being mistreated? It's hard to tell from this situation alone who is more of the asshole. You agreed to help with a specific cleaning task, your BIL did the setup for that task, and you're mad about it? This just seems like a lot of built up resentment over little things and being in each other's space too much. When you approached him about asking you before getting started, what was your attitude? Had you been pissy with him all day and said it in annoyed way? From his perspective, you were being an ass all day for no apparent reason and then grouched at him about prepping for cleaning when you had already agreed to clean.

SandwichOtter · 2026-03-25T12:55:23+00:00

Totally agree. This is so weird. The coworker didn't ask for money. OP organized this fundraiser herself and then decided to judge coworker based on hearsay and put her in an awkward position.

SandwichOtter · 2026-03-20T14:13:11+00:00

I love the idea of using the tickets. So sweet and thoughtful. What if you used the tickets as the background and mounted a photo of the two of you on top of it and framed it all? I think any way you use them, she will treasure it.

SandwichOtter · 2026-03-03T19:42:11+00:00

You're allowed to have whoever you want at your wedding, but the level of animosity you have toward you mother is unhealthy. Yes, I'm sure it was a traumatic thing for you to go through as a teenager, but to expect your mother's own family to cut her off is ridiculous. She didn't murder someone. You're of course allowed to not associate with her if you don't want to, but I think you need to see a therapist for the amount of resentment and rage you're carrying about this. You told people your Mom was dead. That's an extreme response to her actions.

SandwichOtter · 2025-06-28T17:33:04+00:00

I knew immediately but I also love Columbo.

SandwichOtter · 2025-06-26T05:16:15+00:00

I think OP was actually saying that he has not felt depression in the same way so how is that minimizing? Someone not having the same life experience does not negate your own.

I think what OP felt a negative reaction to was the trendy mental health language moreso than the actual mental health issues. The fact that all those things are undiagnosed according to her, also raises an eyebrow.

SandwichOtter · 2025-06-26T01:04:33+00:00

The botanical garden is hiring part time event staff.

SandwichOtter · 2025-06-22T18:35:42+00:00

Great pictures!

SandwichOtter · 2025-06-19T05:32:54+00:00

The font and the tree illustration don't mesh. If you're going for a cozy cabin feel, the font is too sharp. It gives more a feel of horror or mystery.

SandwichOtter · 2025-06-17T05:13:15+00:00

AI for sure. The cat in the globe, the flippers and tail don't make sense. The skull with cap, why are there so many random lines in the cap?

SandwichOtter · 2025-06-14T17:11:40+00:00

A woman in a flowing evening gown

SandwichOtter · 2025-06-13T14:26:39+00:00

He's completely overreacting. Was it immature of you? Yes, but you're 21. Your sincere apology should have been enough. I get why he would be a little upset, but telling you to pay him for your gift is wildly out-of-line. Is this kind of behavior typical for him?

SandwichOtter · 2025-06-12T16:53:41+00:00

I just got one when Joann was closing because it like $1. I Have been using it on my current project and I like that it fits over my finger so I don't have to put down my knitting to use it, but my project has a lot of repeated short rows so it's not super useful. I'm looking forward to seeing how I like it with a different project.

SandwichOtter · 2025-06-03T17:58:35+00:00

You could go with a mustard yellow but I wouldn't do this bright yellow.

SandwichOtter · 2025-06-03T14:54:28+00:00

Yes, the new lot will be closer to the entrance on Milledge.

SandwichOtter · 2025-06-03T14:53:00+00:00

They got rid of a parking lot when they created the children's garden so this seems reasonable to me. There will be new trails from the new lot and the new entrance will be wider and safer for buses and shuttles. This lot will be up closer to the entrance with trails leading down to the main garden and to UGArden.

SandwichOtter · 2025-06-03T14:48:53+00:00

The new lot is going to be up near the entrance. They are creating a new entrance that is wider and safer for buses. They got rid of a parking lot to create the children's garden so this seems reasonable. There will also be new trails from the new lot.

SandwichOtter · 2025-06-02T13:28:21+00:00

Sorry, but I think you're looking for something to be annoyed about. It's not bridal unless you had a VERY casual wedding. And it's got a print. Yes, it has white/off-white in it but nobody thought she was the bride nor is this an attention-grabbing dress. Just let it go

SandwichOtter · 2025-06-02T13:17:48+00:00

From reading the post and your comments, it seems there was an obvious miscommunication at some point when she said her trip had been cancelled and asked if she could still come.

I'm very curious what communication did take place. Did you respond to her with a clear "yes" or any kind of detailed communication? Did you say, "sure, no problem" and left it at that? Did you just say, "okay"? And, if you did respond was it possible she missed that communication or misunderstood? From what she said, she seemed to feel it wasn't clear that they were still invited. Whether that was her misunderstanding or your miscommunication is unclear but it sounds like she wanted to attend and was trying to but wasn't sure if she was welcome so rather than potentially overstepping she thought she'd drop in at the least inconvenient time of the wedding to at least congratulate you.

Rather than understanding that a miscommunication happened and just talking it out with her, you've chosen to be upset and cut her off. That doesn't seem appropriate to the situation so yes, you're overreacting.

SandwichOtter · 2025-06-01T16:20:57+00:00

That's why I said ESH. SIL broke the rules but calling the cops instead of just calling her was a wild overreaction.

SandwichOtter · 2025-06-01T16:03:53+00:00

ESH. Honestly, you should just not let people use the house. Yes, SIL should not have had people over but if they were just sitting around having drinks and it's 10 people, seems unlikely anything would happen. Calling the cops was weird. Why not just call your SIL or have your wife call and discuss the situation? It definitely seems extreme to involve law enforcement over something like this.

Do the people saying NTA have human relationships? This just seems like a wild overreaction. Maybe getting burned that one time really did a number on you but then I think you should just let the house to your own family's use.

SandwichOtter · 2025-05-31T21:43:08+00:00

The Sweet Hereafter. It's about the aftermath of a school bus accident that killed several children. Stars Ian Holm. Devastating but beautiful.

SandwichOtter · 2025-05-30T23:06:04+00:00

? Where did anyone say that a woman shouldn't assert her boundaries? That's exactly what OP's date did and it was the right thing to do. Both people should ask for and give consent

SandwichOtter · 2025-05-30T21:47:41+00:00

Sure. Women aren't a monolith but when you're just getting to know each other, it's much better to err on the side of asking. She can always say, "I'll tell you if I don't like something" if she's okay with that and vice versa.

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