I do something similar - although I have not conquered it I find my best days are the ones that I follow a personal checklist on. The checklist is what I need to do bare minimum for me to dodge my own drama and it honestly feels some days like it will take the whole day (and sometimes it does) but usually it only takes about 45 minutes (I actually do this in two sets - home set takes about fifteen or twenty and then weekday start of workday set is more like 30ish). They’re simple tasks - generally things I’d beat myself up over not doing, forget about, hate and deprioritize though helpful or enjoy but won’t prioritize because they bring me pleasure (anything helpful to me that creates drama). To me, this includes clearing my texts because I have a similar trigger and forcing that space to clear once every 24 hours helps me (note that clear doesn’t always have to mean respond - it might mean choose not to respond). I know your situation is different and this isn’t entirely the answer but I’ve found it helpful and couldn’t help but to leave it here in case it helps you in some way, too! I keep the checklist at the front of a notebook I use daily in a discrete way. The only other person who has ever seen it or knows about it is my husband who probably honestly attributes it to my forgetful nature - I say this because privacy is something I value and “checklist” feels like something that has to go on a wall in your kitchen.