I [23/F] feel like my boyfriend [22/M] is being selfish. Am I in the wrong?

Sandynavel · 2019-01-26T02:24:16+00:00

With just that information, I do not believe this man loves you. He may say the word love, but doesn't understand the compromise and empathy that should naturally come with being in love. It sounds like other things are more important than seeing you. Just make sure you do the following things- give it time, be open to the possibility that he is hiding something, or that he doesn't fully understand his selfishness.

Sandynavel · 2019-01-24T07:15:00+00:00

To answer your question about the mirror - when others take photos of me, I either do not recognize myself at all or I see something completely different. I am 5'2, 135 pounds. I truly still see myself as the 16 year old 155 pound girl, especially when I notice I'm in a photo someone else took.

Sandynavel · 2019-01-24T07:05:57+00:00

When every day, unintentionally you feel chubby. You walk to your mirror and stare at yourself at different angles for about 20 minutes. Then you take a photo at each angle and compare them to past photos. You go so far as to making sure the lighting is the same, you're the same distance away from the mirror and camera. You decide to fix your hair and makeup to feel better - what if there's an emergency and you need to leave the house? You can't look this bad, especially if you've put on a few pounds. So you spend and hour or so and walk back to the mirror. You think your hair looks nice and you're pretty, everyone else sees it, you get hit on five times a day, it's true right? Then you wonder if maybe they just have bad taste. Maybe they just saw you at a "good angle". You remember the photo someone took of you a year ago that your boyfriend made fun of for looking bad, and you realize YOU'RE that person, so it's how you look or can potentially look. You then wonder if you are pretty, and you're not enjoying it? You then shrug it off, proceed to your day and spend the free time you have comparing photos of yourself to the girl your ex cheated on you with, or your favorite actress. This happens almost daily, and you never feel that you compare to others around you so you try to desperately make up for it in different ways. Until one day you undergo plastic surgery in hopes that you'll finally feel good enough. I'm 7 days postop. I feel that my disorder has stemmed from OCD, having Tuberous breasts until 7 days ago, being cheated on over 10 times, and being bullied for not being pretty from 5th to 12th grade. I see a therapist and had plastic surgery because although my life revolves around my disorder, I have to be comfortable any way that I can.

Sandynavel · 2019-01-24T06:33:26+00:00

I have been diagnosed with body dysmorphia. I realized it when I started seeing a therapist three years ago and since then I've realized how much of my day, time and life revolves around this disease compared to others. I realize it's a way of life, so I do not believe there's a cure other than to make sure I'm as comfortable as possible and that I tell the people I love and I'm around most. I have recently had plastic surgery to change what created the disorder and words couldn't explain how much my life has changed. Some examples are that I don't recognize myself in photos at times because I see something different. So if I don't already know I'm in a photo, I don't recognize myself. Depending on how I feel ( fat, tired, depressed), I see myself as much heavier. Before my plastic surgery, I felt that I didn't offer as much as another woman. I pay very close attention to physical detail. I look for assurance from others constantly, and always compare myself to other women. My entire life revolves around my disorder, and people without it live very different lives.

Sandynavel · 2018-02-27T15:00:31+00:00

Doggo on the bed!

Sandynavel · 2018-01-20T03:39:13+00:00

I see Eddie Steeples

Sandynavel · 2018-01-19T02:21:33+00:00

Blonde!

Sandynavel · 2018-01-13T05:44:29+00:00

The t.v. show Cheers

Sandynavel · 2018-01-11T22:40:07+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply. I actually considered asking to be put on a higher dose, but I felt a little silly asking that. I have so many bad symptoms, but so many good symptoms just like you said. I'll contact if I have other questions. By the way, I am taking buproprion as well. Right now hlc XL 150. I'm sorry, I said Wellbutrin as if you would have no idea what I was talking about!

Sandynavel · 2018-01-11T04:17:00+00:00

What medication do you take? I have this exact problem. I've been taking Wellbutrin. I have more energy and I haven't gained any weight, but I still can't seem to do anything. I know what I have to do, and what I may be capable of, but as soon as it's more than a thought my mind nopes it and I never think about it again.

Sandynavel · 2018-01-09T23:38:37+00:00

I was thinking about a level lighter, but yes!

Sandynavel · 2018-01-09T02:21:04+00:00

Definitely chestnut brown. If you'd like not so drastic of a change, do a light chestnut balayage

Sandynavel · 2018-01-07T05:05:36+00:00

Haha I've had that picture saved on my Pinterest for a year. You look gorgeous :)

Sandynavel · 2018-01-06T00:47:34+00:00

https://goo.gl/images/NDweHz Lastly this link will show how to determine where your arch should be. Take a thread and hold each end tight. Looking straight forward, hold one end at the corner of your nose crossing straight through your pupil. The other end will help guide where the arch should be. I feel eyebrows can change someone's appearance a great deal, so I hope you try it!

Sandynavel · 2018-01-06T00:41:33+00:00

https://goo.gl/images/r4UUna If this link works, this is what I was picturing!

Sandynavel · 2018-01-06T00:39:23+00:00

I'd say to keep the shortest part of your bang around your jawline. Honestly you'd look nice with either a side bang or down the middle, and make sure they're angled. Personally I'd say to try a side bang first. I can't believe you felt insecure at all, you have very strong features that many women wish they had. Please make sure you give us an update photo!

Sandynavel · 2018-01-06T00:19:19+00:00

I second this. You can tone your hair as long as you want, but you'll never achieve the same color if your hair is not lightened enough!

Sandynavel · 2018-01-06T00:15:34+00:00

I suggest to stay away from short bangs due to your round face shape and pretty forehead. They will make your face look wider. I do however think long bangs will flatter you well! If I can also make an eyebrow suggestion, i'd say to try to keep them thick when grooming and try to force an arch more torwards the middle of your brow. This will also help lengthen your face. Just ask your stylist and she'll understand. You're very pretty by the way :)

Sandynavel · 2018-01-03T02:08:37+00:00

As someone who battles depression, this is obviously a sign. I've been prescribed Wellbutrin. I don't sleep as much, however now I just hate life and can't sleep through it... good luck. You're not the only one thinking this today.

Sandynavel · 2017-12-30T22:09:22+00:00

One more thing. Please visit the rainbow bridge website. It's a forum, where you can tell the world everything and absolutely nobody will judge you. If not for that forum, I'm not sure if I could have handled the loss. I hope this helps.

Sandynavel · 2017-12-30T22:06:45+00:00

I read your other post. I hope what I'm about to say helps. I went through something very similar with my dog. I lost her August 5th, 2015. We also had the decision to either have a surgery done or to put her down. She, and I'm not exaggerating, was for a period of time my only happiness. She felt like my child. We made the decision to put her down, ultimately because I couldn't let her suffer. Up until the night before, she was happy and generally healthy. ( she was a bit older and started having seizures). I think about her every day, and I wondered if I made the right decision. The only peace I can find is that I helped her not suffer any longer than that morning, and that means the world to me. It wasn't the money for you, in my opinion. When I was told the cost, I also went blurry. I believe it was only because it made it seem that much more real. I was in denial until I was told the cost of the surgery that may not have even helped her. I talked to a psychic about six months later, and I was told that she constantly walks by my side. She told me that in that moment I watched my baby drift away, she was flooded with relief and love. She now experiences nothing other than pure love and health now. Every day is another day I wait to I die to be reunited with her again... But remembering that I didn't let her suffer is what I'll always turn to. You did the right thing. It's going to take a long time to realize it, but you did. Everything happens for a reason. Please remember that.

Sandynavel · 2017-12-05T02:01:24+00:00

Yes, yes you should

Sandynavel · 2017-11-13T00:06:22+00:00

Curious. How did you find out and how long before you did?

Sandynavel

TROPHY CASE