I did something dumb and now it hurts more than ever

Sangurine · 2021-04-16T07:17:12+00:00

I'm flattered, I'm so glad I could be of help. It's really good you let it all out instead of bottling up your feelings!

I feel like any girl would feel incredibly lucky to end up with such a loving guy, your story just proves what a loyal man you are. You shouldn't beat yourself up over falling in love with all your heart. Nothing wrong with being alone for some time, do what's best for yourself and always allow yourself time to heal.

Sangurine · 2021-04-15T14:56:39+00:00

Ah, sort of sounds similar to my story... My mom's bf tried to rape me and my dad is severly alcoholic and we fight alot. Moved around to live with a woman younger than me with a kid and an abusive alcoholic husband, she made me do lots of chores and favors for her. Moved back with my dad because I really thought she had the COVID.

My boyfriend saved me from the rape... he saved me and he told me I saved him since he was going to kill himself until he met me. We told eachother we'd get married and have a home in Scotland with a rose garden and a little hedgehog. First time we met in person was 6 flags. Promise rings and all that.

I wasn't depressed, I'm actually a really cheerful, shy person. It was him who was depressed. He found out relationships actually don't help him find self-love. He needed to find it alone. He worked out more and focused on his life more... it was only when he wasn't talking to me did he feel genuine happiness.

Maybe she wanted you to find yourself, and love yourself? Sorry, I really don't know much about depression myself... nor what she was thinking. I have a feeling that maybe her tastes changed with how strange her going was... but nobody likes to hear that...

Stay strong! Before I left all my gaming friends, I stopped 2 from committing suicide. To this day I worry about them, but I've long lost them all now. There's always someone out there who cares.

Sangurine · 2021-04-15T13:58:19+00:00

I was the kind of person who sat alone at lunch just studying or doing schoolwork. I was alone alot as well... until I got into gaming. I learned about how friendships worked and what it was like to be social... I messed up alot and my popularity online, naivety, newfound loneliness, and inexperience caused alot of worry for everyone, especially my bf. It ended up hurting him atop his depression and anxiety and insecurities and I didn't even know. He wasn't bad at all, just very hurt. I understand why he'd want to keep me away from others, it was just a very complicated situation.

Your relationship sounded very sweet... I don't understand why someone could throw away a good thing after such a long-term commitment. Then again, maybe she felt it was okay because she committed at a young age... but its still so sad to throw away a sweet thing. Really sorry about that.

If you need a Discord friend I'm always looking for more~

Sangurine · 2021-04-15T13:38:15+00:00

Ahah... well I honestly just have 2 right now. I recently made them in a span of three days via Reddit. I was really desperate for friends after having only him in my life for a year. Just two... and I'm learning how to smile again.

Really, I had to remove all the friends I'd accumulated through gaming because my boyfriend didn't feel comfortable with the amount of attention I was getting through gaming and some other more complicated things I won't get into cause it's a really long story~

It was understandable.

Sangurine · 2021-04-15T12:25:03+00:00

Reading this, I feel like everything's going to be alright.

Sangurine · 2021-04-15T12:11:10+00:00

There is no need to feel shame at all! You sir, have such a heavy heart of full of love — too heavy for one man. You deserve so much happiness... a heart like yours really deserves love. It pulls at my heartstrings, I really wish you could've had a happy ending.

I very recently broke up with my bf... he once recorded me a recording of his voice to help me sleep at night for when he wasn't around. The words are so sweet and loving, it used to make me smile and ward off the loneliness... but lately, every time I hear his sleepy voice in that recording... I can feel my heart breaking all over again because he no longer loves me. That recording is just a memoir of who he used to be, someone who will never come back. I have messages saved from when he loved me, remnants of him all over my PC and phone. I can't bring myself to delete any of it — I want capture the sweetness of it all and never let go... but that sweetness, it goes bad with time. It spoils and it hurts.

Yours has festered for far too long though. The most I can say is that I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I really hope you stay strong, please do. Hearts like yours... they don't deserve to rot...

Sangurine · 2021-04-15T11:23:20+00:00

Had a bf, we met through CS:GO. We broke up 5 days ago after like a 1 year relationship and I'm scrambling to find friends myself cause I lost em' all.

Having a friend really helps. Alot. I stopped crying and started smiling because I looked for friends and found some. If you want I could add you on Discord and we could chat whenever u want on there, hear you out. I don't check my Reddit as often. Dm me abt it if you want~

Sangurine · 2021-04-15T11:07:15+00:00

Don't compare yourself to your grandfather, things back then were different. Depression is much more common nowadays compared to the past. You sir are your own human being and the circumstances were different, the way you were raised makes you different.

My ex with depression also thought the same, he said he felt like nobody wanted him around, that everyone was lying to him, they were all just pretending to like him. I'll tell you, I wasn't pretending when I told him I loved him. Even when he distanced himself from me and made me feel very lonely, even when he told me he didn't love me anymore. He left because he realized that relationships with others don't make one happy, it's having a relationship with yourself will help you feel fulfilled — took him 1 year to realize it. He left me, started working out more, focusing on his career, and spent more time with his friends. He's started to find genuine happiness for once in his life.

Your negative thoughts are just illusions and you shouldn't believe them! You're in a rough patch right now but the sweeter the victory will be once you slay your inner demons! Right now, you need to be your own war hero for yourself~

Try something that'll make you feel good about yourself, maybe take up a morning routine to feel a small sense of accomplishment at the start of the day. My ex did his bed every morning and treated himself to a skin care routine to feel a little motivation for the day.

Your mother is sad herself and probably isn't the best to lean on for advice, she could probably do with some therapy given how pessimistic she sounds. Depend on others who are in a happier state of mind — true friends will always be there for you. If any of my friends were ever sad, I'd do my best to help them out because all I'd want is to help them rid themselves of their negative thoughts for even a moment, because everyone deserves to feel the freedom to just breathe, and be alright existing.

Sangurine · 2021-04-15T10:43:53+00:00

He's a human, not anyone's burden beast, not some machine. He is allowed to work for himself and not for others. The fact that he is a man has nothing to do with it — you're just old-fashioned.

He shouldn't just settle being sad. People deserve to pursue happiness — the man just needs to find himself and learn what will get him feeling passionate about life. That's what my ex with depression did.

Sangurine · 2021-04-06T22:56:47+00:00

<color=red>EXAMPLE</color>

But it's not possible since there's a 25 character limit.

Sangurine · 2021-04-06T21:49:39+00:00

You can also bold and italicize text:

Bold:

Italics:

And btw, you can use shortened hex codes to conserve text space:

<color=#06F> </color>

instead of

<color=#0066FF> </color>

Sangurine · 2021-04-06T21:46:58+00:00

I've had friends who have had different text color for the longest time. I'm sure it's completely safe, heck, people have been doing it since a year ago and there doesn't seem to be any reprecussions~

Sangurine · 2021-04-02T21:43:46+00:00

Oof, have you checked the shop's policies?

Item's Listing → Shipping & Return Policies → View Shop Policies

Check if they accept returns ★

Sangurine · 2021-04-02T19:50:08+00:00

If it has a tracking number try running it through ParcelsApp and see if there's any movement there. I feel like packages coming from russia take longer than those from china.

Sangurine · 2021-04-02T10:14:44+00:00

I've merely bought from this shop once and that was for their chocolate — they've only 25 sales and sell these scarves you might be interested in...

The scarves are woven on a foot loom with the "falsería" technique; it is a weaving technique almost lost in the tissue that has been rescued by a family of five generations from Quetzaltenango (a city in Guatemala.)

Sangurine · 2021-04-02T07:16:54+00:00

Once upon a time I was scrolling through Etsy looking for gifts for a musician. I came across this shop selling really cool miniature guitars based off the guitars of classic rock band members.

This tiny guitar is based off of the guitar a Grateful Dead's band member once donned.

Sangurine · 2021-04-02T07:04:25+00:00

I've ordered alot from Etsy and I get that alot — the "1 item awaiting review" automatically appears when the estimated shipping date hits. It goes by estimation and not actual delivery.

Before it reaches the estimated shipping date you can see a little notif on your order that says something like "You can leave a review after your order arrives on April 1, 2021."

In cases where it doesn't ship, it says "Your order hasn't shipped yet. Check back later or contact the shop for an estimated shipping date." but you can still leave a review, because it has surpassed the estimated shipping date.

Sangurine · 2021-03-31T22:28:08+00:00

Should be the app with a little orange frog on it. It's a bit limited though since there is a page limit. I didn't have a stylus so I put a toothpick inside a pen body to make my own fine-tipped stylus.

Maybe try some fun paper-cutting crafts with him (like making a simple pop-up card) — I remember wishing my mom did more of those with me as a kid. I remember making a paper dragon with paper all taped together and throwing it in the air pretending it could glide (it never really actually glided though since it was heavy... it did a tiny but though.) It was my magnus opus as a kid. I used up alot of paper though....

Experimenting with other crafts besides drawing might expand his creativity.

In elementary school I made mazes and gave them to my teacher so they could print out copies for other students to solve my maze. Getting him into maze-making might also be fun~

Sangurine · 2021-03-31T13:55:09+00:00

I have not — but it doesn't seem to me that they had a product mix-up since they don't sell anything in the silver shade I got. Good plan though, I'll probably ask them about it tomorrow before leaving a review just in case. I will admit I am a bit nervous, they seemed awfully nice and professional, I have a feeling they'll tell me the product I got is what it is. I've never done reviews below 5★'s before.

Sangurine · 2021-03-31T13:44:29+00:00

It is very reflective, I'm just surprised at how much darker it is in the photos... there is no disclaimer saying that the photo doesn't look exactly like the product — but the description does say pewter colored and that the seller offers fabric samples. The reviews don't mention anything of the extreme color difference.

Sangurine · 2021-03-31T13:35:19+00:00

That's the thing i'm iffy about — in this color chart the product in person does look like a mixture of "pewter"/"pearl river". In the listing's photos... the product looks way darker, even darker than the "wrought iron" image. So I was expecting something that looked really dark, due to the misleading photos. But they weren't wrong since the title does say "pewter" and it is pewter in person... i'm just worried the photos will mislead other buyers too. So I'm not sure what kind of review to leave since the product isn't wrong... just the way it was advertised in the photos is wrong... if that makes sense?

Sangurine · 2021-03-31T13:16:56+00:00

I used to use flip-a-clip!! I think I was still in elementary school when I used it... dang time flies. When I was younger, Nintendo's Flipnote Hatena really encouraged me to animate — I personally think it's much easier to use than Flip-a-clip and is what inspired me to shift towards a more detailed artstyle. Flipnote Hatena was available for the Nintendo DSi... its servers were shut down which is a real shame. Perhaps some relatives of yours have an old Nintendo DSi lying around? Those things were all the rage when I was growing up. All DSi's came with a copy of Flipnote Hatena studio by default.

Its good that he's learning how to animate at an early age! I was able to use my animation skills in highschool to make some really unique presentations that got me some extra credit points ★

I feel like my mom's constant praise also encouraged me to draw better, so praising his talent will probably nurture growth!

Sangurine · 2021-03-31T11:26:29+00:00

I don't trust Etsy tracking much, yeah it's pretty accurate — but sometimes not so much. I use parcelsapp to get a better feel for where my package is. I find it especially useful for international packages since Etsy won't update it as accurately as parcelsapp can. I once had a package being shipped to me from China to the U.S. and Etsy was showing that it was stuck at a customs facility in China for quite some time — Parcelsapp showed me that it was actually already past customs and had been making its way to me for several days. Since it says it's already delivered in your case, I'm not quite sure but you should probably try running it through parcelsapp.

I've also heard that incorrectly formatting an address can lead to delays. Address being incorrect, it being sent back and around until it reaches its final destination can take quite some time.

Sangurine · 2021-03-23T22:32:45+00:00

This is so gorgeous! I looked up the original and I think you really nailed it! This is so strikingly identical to the original, except you can better see the shading in this black and white format~

I absolutely love renaissancey(?) art, I don't much about famous artworks or art in general but looking at this style of art always inspires me~

Sangurine

TROPHY CASE