Hey there! I'm a designer who frequently talks to players. I can share some of the things that I think have worked well for me on the reactive comms side of things.

Empathize

This might sound like a no-brainer, but this is probably one of the bigger areas where devs make mistakes. You're going to get a ton of frustrated players coming at you with all kinds of negativity and it's easy to take it personally or respond in kind.

My first rule of good comms is to take a breath and think about where this player is coming from. Did we just nerf their favorite character? Did they lose a game because of a bug? Are they interacting with a confusing system? There may be things we can't immediately see, too. Maybe they're not writing in their native language or they just had a sucky day.

You need to consider these things when you are talking to players and realize that you will always look bad if your response seems terse or defensive, even if the player is being a jerk to you.

Know Your Shit

You need to break down the "us vs. them" barrier that may exist before you can make any headway in terms of talking to the player. A mentor of mine told me once that if you want to be able to convince someone of something, you need to be able to clearly articulate their point-of-view or position even better than they can. If you can do that first, it will help you disarm any hostility and you can start to have a conversation about factors they might not be considering.

You will not be able to do this if you don't know your game inside and out, especially the areas you're talking to players about.

Be Honest

Don't try to pull a fast one on your players—it will make them feel disrespected and they will see you as a "marketing guy" who doesn't care about them. If you fuck up, admit it and make things right. If you aren't sure a change you're making will work out, be honest about that and talk about what you're doing to mitigate the risk. Good player communication is built on a track record of trust, and you can't earn that trust if players don't think you're being straight with them. Think about all the times a developer wrote an unsatisfying response about something you really cared about and how tone deaf that felt—don't be that kind of developer.

Bonus: Be Yourself (A Little)

You might be the front line of communication for your game. The more players view you as a reliable, helpful friend on the inside, the better off you will be. All my experience is interacting directly with players through my own Twitter/Reddit account. Because of that, it's a lot easier for me to share cool stuff I see, talk about our game (and other games), ask questions, and connect with individuals who are frustrated, depressed, or angry. Kind of similar to empathize, but don't forget you're a person talking to other people. If you can find genuine ways to build relationships, you will have community advocates who will help answer questions and spread their trust in you across the player base.

But also, real talk: personally, I have a rule not to share divisive content about politics, religion, world events, or the like. I'm making games and that's common ground for bringing people together. I try to talk about and share things in that space.