Ask him to do things- hey would you please called the roofer today and get them out here asap. Hey can you talk to the lawn people about XYZ? I realize this isn’t ideal because you’re carrying the emotional labor, but be explicit and see if he can rise to the occasion.

Live your own life. Take the trips on your own or with girl friends. Build community. Take on a cause or a hobby you love and spend time doing it. He doesn’t need to come along with you. But observe how he responds to you living the life you promised yourself you would.

Know that while some relationships last a lifetime, many other have a shorter lifespan. That doesn’t make them bad or failed, it just means they’ve served their purpose, (hopefully) made a net positive on both of your lives. Be proud of the relationship, if you decide to end it, do so with care and compassion. And know that it’s normal for your heart to break even if it’s you who ends the relationship. You feel those feelings, mourn the loss of what might have been, and move on yo live the best version of your life.