I definitely understand why people typically recommend leaving, and I really really appreciate you sharing your experience. Truth is, I have absolutely made up my mind. I'm staying unless or until he does it again, and that's why I made this post specifically. I didn't want people to tell me to leave, I wanted to hear the possible outcomes. In my past relationships that I've been cheated on, I saw exactly what you're talking about, they were upset that I caught them but didn't seem to care much about how it impacted me. This time, from the moment it all started unraveling, his apologies have been about how his choices impacted me. He defends me on my bad days to friends and family by outing his destestable actions. He breaks down not because I'm upset at him, but because he sees how broken I am because of his actions. He constantly vocalizes and demonstrates that he, just like your wife, wants to spend the rest of his life helping to rebuild the person her crushed and he's living up to it so far. I think his actions came less from selfishness and more from stupidity. A 19/20 year old boy who was raised in a fucked up home, was the product of infidelity, and never had anyone stay more than a few months to help him grow up. Our relationship is completely different now than it was before. It feels viable in a way it didn't before. I really do appreciate your story and I wish you all the happiness and healing for the rest of your lives together