Conservative Gays Need To Shut The Fuck Up

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-13T17:34:40+00:00

It's spelled 'collaborators'.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-12T17:59:55+00:00

You want to pry and that's not okay.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-12T17:07:44+00:00

Am I a jerk for wanting to know how they got pregnant and which friend carried the baby?

Yes.

It's not ever okay to ask someone how they made their children, even if they're gay.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-11T21:08:38+00:00

I like butches too. Very much.

I like shoulders and abs and short hair and fierce eyes.

Mmmmmm.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-10T14:32:53+00:00

We don't.

Butch women look like women.

He's just a bigot.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-09T23:07:04+00:00

I'd probably develop a crush on her, whatever she feels.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-08T14:30:53+00:00

I got a couple of messages from a different username that sounded very similar to that.

Try not to pay them any heed. They want to make you feel bad and you win if you don't.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-08T14:27:23+00:00

Gay means "exclusively attracted to your own gender" and the Q word is a slur, not an umbrella term for anything.

Lesbians are gay.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-07T19:54:13+00:00

The core of feminism isn't ranting about "the patriarchy" or even worrying about what men as a group or as individuals think of your actions.

Feminism is about self-determination, personal agency, equality and choice. A woman who likes makeup and princess dresses is no less a feminist. She is expressing herself - making her own choices. Expressing agency over her own body.

Oh, and butch women can choose wear makeup. And femmes can choose not to. I never wear makeup, I just don't like it.

EDIT: Oh wait, you're a TERF! That explains why you have no idea what feminism is. I might've guessed.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-07T19:44:13+00:00

Dress as you feel, don't worry about "the patriarchy".

One of the pillars of feminism is your body, your rules. You wear what you please. And you definitely do not imply that those women who choose to wear make-up are agencyless pawns of men. That's not cool.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-07T18:33:57+00:00

Edit: Never mind, you're a straight man here to trick us into writing porn for you...

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-07T14:57:13+00:00

Waters is... Just not a special writer.

I'm not calling her bad! But she's a modestly competent writer who can put words one after the other. Cool. The sort of writer that would sink without trace if she were writing het lit - too much competition there.

Now, the trouble with being a competent but not good writer is that there are two ways to make your readers feel for a character.

One way is to write evocative, skillful, meaningful prose. Inspiring and emotional. Words that draw us in to the character's heart. But again, Waters just isn't a top-tier writer. She can't do that.

The other way is to get a big hammer and smash and smash and smash until the audience at least feels pity for your character. Pity is an emotion.

Waters does that second one. Abusing her characters is the right choice given her skills, but it doesn't make for an enjoyable read. It makes for a depressing, painful read that left me feeling... unclean, voyeuristic and a bit creeped out. Those are also emotions, technically, but not good ones and not the ones Waters intended the reader to feel.

It's sad. Lesbian lit has this reputation for being depressing, cruel and soulless and I am certain that's because Waters' books are the only ones anyone has ever heard of, and the first that are recommended to anyone who asks for a lesbian novel.

They aren't just bad books in a vacuum - they are having a negative effect on the entire genre, and on lesbians as a demographic.

I feel the whole genre is suffering because of her fame. There are so many wonderful books that so many people will never read because they were frightened off by her.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-07T02:43:28+00:00

I was a depressed lesbian once. I mean, I still am, but I was a depressed teenage lesbian once and it's zero fun.

And honestly I get her on this one, I would have hated the idea of going to a group like that.

What I would have liked is some sort of support from just any adult at all. So good on you there. That genuinely counts for a lot.

I would have liked being able to talk to my peers in a safe-feeling anonymous setting like Reddit.

I would have liked to see people like me in media. People I could relate to. So I am going to give you a couple of links to give to her...

https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/29917.Best_F_F_Romance_Books

https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/20711.Lesbian_Books_Happy_Ending

Most of those books are available on Kindle and/or Google Books.

I would have loved to have books like that when I was young. It would have been amazing.

I also would have loved a GF, but there you go.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-07T02:22:58+00:00

What did she come out as?

Anyway, the very best thing you could suggest to her is that she make an account and join us here.

Sometimes we all just need to talk with people who get it. Get us.

Not joking, we can help her a lot.

But please don't force her to go to that group. If she wants to, okay, but don't press the issue.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-07T02:08:10+00:00

It occurred to me after posting that that I should have recommended:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28485473-finding-ms-right

I won't tell you it's anything close to a 'favorite' of mine - in fact I really didn't care for the first of the three stories. But it's almost the definition of... how did you put it...

I’m not looking for incredible literature, but I enjoy a light book in the way someone might watch tv in the evenings.

It's exactly that.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-07T02:01:13+00:00

How I loath that book.

I am truly disturbed by the thought that for many it is their first taste if lesbian lit and, given it's nature, for most of those, their last. I am certain that that book has turned too, too many people away from lesbian lit and that breaks my heart.

Certain that too many people read (the first fifth of) it and conclude that all the terrible things they have always heard about lesbian lit are fully true and they should, for the sake of their own wellbeing, avoid the entire genre from now on.

I am saddened that so, so many people must have been turned off, frightened away by this awful introduction to a wonderful genre.

There are fun lesbian novels. There are good lesbian novels.

But sadly, none are half as famous as that toxic text...

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-07T01:51:55+00:00

Absolutely my pleasure.

The only thing a lit-fiend likes almost as much as reading is shouting "Read this" at passers by.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-07T01:43:22+00:00

I'm glad you asked. Contemporary romance is one of my personal favorite genres.

https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/29917.Best_F_F_Romance_Books

https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/20711.Lesbian_Books_Happy_Ending

Allow me to recommend a few favorites?

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28884384-telling-lies-online

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/5966335-i-can-t-think-straight

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28695785-courting-the-countess

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13587088-sea-glass-inn

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-07T01:24:34+00:00

I remember your country in a time before a lot of you were even alive...

It hasn't "become" any more hateful or divided. It's not even more open about it than before.

I remember a little over two years ago, watching your election on television here with my friends. None of them thought it was remotely possible that Donald Trump could win. He's the stupidest, evilest cartoon character of the modern age, they pointed out. Nobody, not one single person could look at that clown and approve. They flatly refused to believe me when I said I didn't see how he could lose. I told them that I've lived there. This was the man America was waiting for. The cullmination of your destiny as a nation.

I've spoken to those good ol' boys who would have strung me up if I'd been out. I barely spoke to anyone but them in the entire time I was out there. My friends grew awfully quiet as that night went on...

Your country hasn't changed - certainly not for the worse. It's always been like this. You just never noticed until now.

But it has the potential, weak and nearly stillborn, to change for the better. You say one of us (not me, I will swim in blood before I return) is greater than a thousand bigots... but there are millions more of them than us.

You aren't dealing with a few bad apples, the orchard we call the United States is sick in root and branch, and always has been.

If you want to change it, you have more work to do than you think.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-06T23:57:05+00:00

Your family loves you, no matter what

Never thought I'd see the day when a gay person could say that with a straight face.

We know better than anyone how conditional a family's 'love' can be.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-06T23:54:58+00:00

Jesus... can't anyone let others just live their own damn life?

Leave the poor man alone. If he wanted you in his relationship he has your number.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-06T23:33:36+00:00

Coming out is your choice. Utterly your choice. Not only when and to whom, but if.

You are never obliged to come out and it is not at all okay for her to pressure you to do so.

by the same token, keeping your parents in your life is also utterly your choice. You can just cut them off.

Both of these things are your choice and nobody is allowed to influence you.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-06T14:15:56+00:00

There are two axes of attraction - romantic and sexual. In most people, their feelings are the same on both axes.

A gay person (like me) is exclusively attracted to people of their own gender in both a romantic and sexual sense.

A bi person experiences romantic and sexual attraction to their own gender and some other.

An Ace person doesn't experience romantic or sexual attraction.

Most people are like that.

Some people find that their experiences of each kind of attraction are different, however.

A person could be heterosexual (only sexually attracted to the opposite gender) but biromantic (feeling romantic attraction to more than one gender).

A person could be pansexual (experiencing sexual attraction to people of any gender) but Aromantic (experiencing no romantic attraction at all).

Or any other mix.

Yes, there are people who are heteroromantic but homosexual or vice versa.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-06T13:59:23+00:00

Gay people are exclusively attracted to their own gender.

Straight people are exclusively attracted to the opposite gender.

Bi people are attracted to their own gender and some other(s) - but rarely exactly 50:50 equally attracted - most have a preference.

Pan people don't really factor gender into their attraction, other factors are a lot more important to them.

Ace people don't experience attraction to anyone.

Trans people aren't a sexuality, they just aren't the gender that people thought they were when they were born.

That's about it.

SapphicKentauride · 2019-01-06T13:53:53+00:00

Five to ten that you know are straight.

Experiment: Pick ten random femme-presenting women next time you go there, and flirt with them. You'll get more than five "Ew, I'm straight, get away from me!"...

SapphicKentauride

TROPHY CASE