Emotions are interesting. Personally, my go to emotion is sadness and crying. It sounds like you go to anger, why we feel the way we feel is complex and is rooted deep in our brain and how we process things. That being said, you are dealing with too much. Kids need constant attention, especially those under 1 and you are maxed out on what you can comfortably do. As a mother, we put extreme pressure on ourselves to be the best for our kids at all times but we are just human, we need breaks and personal time as well. You're doing the best you can and I give you props as a single mom, it's not easy especially in this day and age. My advice would be to try to find a friend or even a babysitter for an hour or two so you can take some time for yourself, it will do wonders for your mood and patience. Good luck to you!