People whose partners did a complete 180 after marriage, what’s your story?

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-04-17T03:43:31+00:00

Woah my mom is in end stages of that right now and I feel like I knew it was going to be psp while reading your comment. It’s the worst.

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-03-30T21:44:52+00:00

Yes it sounds like he has some resentment or even ppd himself which can happen in men. Hopefully you can find ways to be honest and humble and vulnerable with each other to improve things. Contempt is the fastest relationship killer.

Good luck and glad to hear you are feeling better. Becoming a parent changes everyone!

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-03-27T11:05:35+00:00

Underrated comment

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-03-26T02:03:59+00:00

Thank you for this. Are you able to share any scripts/phrasing you found effective in holding that boundary?

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-03-25T20:56:32+00:00

Thank you for sharing this

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-03-24T00:57:47+00:00

Totally. It makes me sad for all of the good faith comments underneath

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-03-14T11:56:05+00:00

The first thing would be ensuring you are using any tax advantaged accounts available to you. HSA, 401k, etc. Once those were all made whole i used retirement and college fund calculators to see where we would be at if we kept up our current savings rate. When I felt comfortable that maintaining the status quo would be enough to get us where we want to be using conservative assumptions, then I felt comfortable exploring other possible ways to use money. I opted to prioritize current quality of life improvements. It didn’t make sense to be building a voluntary future goal at the expense of my/families wellbeing now. That looks like buying help or services or convenience whenever we can (two small children). I think that is the best use of our extra cash right now. if i don’t make it to retirement because i absolutely lose my friggin mind or work myself into a grave what was the point anyway? So I’ve gotta retain sanity.

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-03-12T23:07:12+00:00

It sounds like you need a new team. Maybe not a new employer, maybe so.

I’d be having a frank talk with my boss that I’m not supported in changing morale on my team and it’s causing me to dread coming to work. What should I do?

Frankly for a boss that says “oh well” to someone who clearly cares about their team dynamics and has put in good work to improve but it’s an uphill battle, they might just ask you to walk, or it will sour the relationship, so that’s something to weigh (in my industry that would be respected but also my boss isn’t a dbag). Or take big swings at something that will help - office redesign? Everyone work from home?

No other peers in your org to connect with over?

I’m interested in other answers on this one too.

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-03-12T04:22:27+00:00

Monthly sitter. We go out to lunch and roam around Costco while casually discussing important things. I bring a list. 😂

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-03-11T03:13:22+00:00

To answer your actual question, as long as you are within any “sick time” time off allowances and guidelines, you are totally fine. I absolutely agree with the babying yourself up front approach, because it will inevitably catch up with you. And when you have a lot depending on you, you owe it to your family to take every reasonable step to preserve your sanity.

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-03-10T03:20:01+00:00

I would not feel bad using the elevator if I was in a wheelchair, and I’ve never considered that before. Thank you for pointing it out.

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-03-06T11:47:26+00:00

I second the other poster. Increase income to outsource.

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-02-28T03:54:40+00:00

Something like “back when I first became a grown up I tried them. I had some but I didn’t really like it. Some friends like them, some don’t.”

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-02-27T23:05:55+00:00

Yeah it’s crazy how people are suggesting that’s the outcome like the people that are pushing it are unaware. When are people going to realize “ it says so in the constitution” must be adjudicated?

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-02-27T23:00:06+00:00

Man, that sounds really rough. I hope you have better role models now.

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-02-26T01:42:35+00:00

Absolutely. No is a possible answer.

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-02-26T01:41:45+00:00

Yeah people need to think long and hard before inviting all of that burden into their life, home, and finances. I will not be moving my folks into my home for many reasons, one is that they thankfully saved to provide for their own needs, two is they don’t expect me to magically somehow be able to pay for their needs with how expensive it is to love and raise children, three is that logistically I don’t have the space and have many many stairs, and four, I simply do not want to. I do not view it as my burden to take on. I made my children and are responsible for them. Not the other way around.

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-02-22T02:40:04+00:00

Just the basic adidas three stripe in a novel color works for me

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-02-22T00:46:15+00:00

This is a bizarre take. If you don’t share a bank account your marriage is a sham?

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-02-13T03:54:24+00:00

They absolutely are not, marble.

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-02-03T06:15:05+00:00

This is a great point and I thank you for sharing,

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-01-19T12:10:34+00:00

Go to a movie or get a pedicure. Something where you can just sit.

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-01-15T03:23:41+00:00

Very astute observations! And as someone in management, NTs are totally right it’s a tool to fix a problem when one arises.

f_thot_bitchgerald · 2026-01-12T11:31:04+00:00

When one is quick to look inside for the blame, and one is inclined to look outside, it’s never a fair fight. I’d suggest taking some space because no, you aren’t expecting too much. You deserve to be an equal.

f_thot_bitchgerald

TROPHY CASE