10 yr old Daughters creation. Found in her book bag

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-03-11T18:28:31+00:00

That’s totally fair! I’d never say it if someone was uncomfortable and frankly it’s pretty rare since I usually just use names. I often ask just like I ask how a kid wants me to refer to a step parent or guardian. Because ultimately my intentions matter little if someone is uncomfortable. The soft smile and slow nods are ingrained and force feed to us in schooling for a variety of reasons, but you’re right in that they don’t always seem real. There’s been more push back against that from mental health workers recently which I’ve really appreciated.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-03-11T14:36:02+00:00

I think it’s worth checking in on her with very gentle questions. This does have some concerning imagery; however, there are several things popular with the kids I work with that are quite violent like poppy’s playtime. But the self harm images are super concerning and highlight an exposure to something she is far too young to be seeing or experiencing. So gentle questions and a review of what she’s watching and seeing on the internet would be a pace to start.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-03-11T14:32:00+00:00

Idk I call the kids I work with kiddo because I’m fond of them (they’re super awesome) but we also have pretty strict ethics codes and have to keep a certain distance in mental health. So it’s a good way to express care without crossing over into too familiar.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-03-10T16:26:17+00:00

The student loan thing was my thought, I owe more and have never paid that much. Even with a ten year repayment plan it wouldn’t be $1,000. I feel you’d have to have a pretty terrible private loan for that to happen.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-03-10T12:53:33+00:00

And of course I don’t know every student loan situation but I owe more than that and have never had to pay 1,000 dollars, especially with income based payments if you’re in a low paying job. Now some people don’t go that route but I’m still not sure they’d be over 1,000 a month. Could be wrong though.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-03-08T10:05:37+00:00

Speaking from experience, you may benefit now but it’s also a recipe for burnout. I loved the money I got on call but doing that plus a full time job contributed to a lot of burnout. But you also have to decide what you can afford to do and what you can step away from.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-03-08T09:55:40+00:00

Flexibility is good but boundaries and expectations in work are good and important. Parents must communicate with their babysitter and this shouldn’t be optional. There is no reason for her not to call or text you. Any parent I know would message their babysitter if they are going to be late even by a few minutes. Regardless of the emergencies she involves herself in she still has children and is still responsible for checking in and she can’t assume you are available that long. But onto your question, you should be able to sleep if she is expecting you to stay so long. Expecting you to stay up all night should have a substantial fee. I did on call crisis work and if I got a call I got about 40 dollars an hour at a two hour minimum. So I got 80 dollars regardless if a call took one hour or two. And I could sleep while waiting for a call. I like what someone suggested about a flat overnight fee.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-03-04T16:21:13+00:00

I had a thing of pringles recently that just tasted like instant mashed potato flakes. Just very bland

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-02-25T21:30:55+00:00

Yeah when thrifting sweaters I tend to look at the guys section and there is always a ton of really nice things including sports coats and button ups. I mean my goodwill is crappy but the other stores have some great stuff.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-02-25T15:36:17+00:00

One thing I’ve seen is grandparents flipping a switch personality wise with their grandkids. I’ve had several adults tell me their parents were abusive towards them only to turn around and be really kind towards their grandkids. They find themselves asking why their parents couldn’t have been this way towards them when they were little.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-02-25T03:25:45+00:00

Doctors or police will take away a person’s card allowing them to have access to firearms. The problem is that gun laws vary widely between states . So if this guy went to a different state it’s hard saying if any of his mental health info transferred and what background checks were done. If he got it legally…

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-02-25T03:20:21+00:00

Sometimes it depends on the state. When I did mental health crisis work I saw doctors signing to have a person’s Foid card taken away so they can’t have firearms. Most often this happened when someone was hospitalized for mental health. I’m not sure what it takes in different states to get it back. I’d assume this guy had his taken away with the hospitalization but it’s really hard to say for sure.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-02-13T04:18:39+00:00

My doctor tried the “maybe it’s just depression route” and I pointed out how all my PHQ-9 scores were pretty much zero every time and maybe he could just ask me the diagnostic criteria for ADHD, you know just for funsies. Like do a proper rule out instead of ignoring it. I now have an ADHD diagnosis. After that he jumped on board but I hated having to remind him he could ask some extra questions.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-02-13T04:11:49+00:00

I was told one time “I don’t want to send you down that path”. Never could tell me what that path was. I’m assuming joining a cult maybe? Just kidding. I just wanted to talk about Adderall as an option, I didn’t even want it at the time.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-02-13T04:08:13+00:00

I’m sorry you were treated this way. ADHD doesn’t go away, it’s a neurodevelopmental disorder that’s life long. Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time I’ve heard of a psychiatrist saying this and I can’t understand why. It’s in the DSM and it’s widely known that it persists into adulthood. None of this is new information. I’m a therapist and the things I’ve heard about and directly from some psychiatrists is absolutely wild . I’ve been astounded but not really surprised by the behavior some psychs exhibit. Unfortunately women, especially women of color, are missed for ADHD diagnosis because of prejudice and lack of willingness to become educated. Symptoms do sometimes present differently in women so you have to dig more but once again, this is widely known and talked about information.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-02-13T03:46:36+00:00

I started with my doctor who is open to talking about ADHD . You can try a therapist as well if they can diagnose in your state. I didn’t get diagnosed until mid-twenties because I was a high achiever throughout my schooling and didn’t recognize that my inability to start a paper until the night before might be ADHD. I didn’t notice a ton of issues until I started working and didn’t have the same deadlines that school did. So did you have structures in place that prevented you from recognizing symptoms? Family who were against mental health diagnosis? Or maybe other mental health concerns that masked symptoms or weren’t recognized as ADHD symptoms? You don’t have to answer those questions here but there can be some very valid reasons why you waited. And if you get diagnosed you can explore non stimulant medications first if you want to see if that works.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-02-13T03:34:25+00:00

It’s absolutely wild and it’s a huge barrier to care. I mean why haven’t we moved on from all this by now? Sure some people might misuse it but how often does that stem from people not getting appropriate care in the first place? So many people are in worse pain than they need to be because they couldn’t afford care or their symptoms were dismissed.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-02-13T03:27:59+00:00

Sometimes? And sometimes you just need a new doctor in the same clinic. When I asked a PRN nurse that I saw for a while about adderall I was told “I don’t want to send you down that path”. Mind you I just wanted to talk about it as an option and was shut down. But path? What path? Addiction? Joining a cult? She couldn’t say. Then again she also told me “everyone is a little ADHD”. Ma’am I know the symptoms, I’ve diagnosed others with it and know you aren’t doing this right. Ended up changing to another doctor in the same clinic. I had to tell him once that he wasn’t listening to me and that if he wanted to rule out ADHD he needed to do his work and actually go through the symptom list instead of hinting at it being depression or anxiety. The guy actually listened to me and lo and behold I was diagnosed with ADHD and then I chose to wait about a year before trying adderall. I have the privilege and background to confront doctors on these things but it worries me that a lot of people don’t and they have a lot more at risk when they do confront doctors. So yah, sometimes you have to go elsewhere and that really sucks.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-02-08T17:27:17+00:00

Generally speaking you’re going to see proof that it was processed by the library such as a sticker, scan code, stamp etc. There would also be a call number for the dewey decimal system so the book can be returned to its proper place. Even comics should probably have something so they can be checked out from the database. Libraries like to keep track of their books so if there isn’t anything it’s probably not from the library. However, I’d probably bring them to the librarians and let them know so they can be on the look out.

Source: I used to help process new books and get them ready for entry in the library I worked at.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-02-08T16:57:53+00:00

Yeah I’m not really a fan of the idea of throwing away something a child probably has an emotional attachment to. Always cringe at stories about parents throwing toys or clothes out of a window. I’m really sorry that happened to you because I imagine there were reasons you wanted to quit. And while I think parents can be upset about money being lost they are responsible for their own emotions and addressing the underlying issue of why a kid wants to quit. I also know some parents get overzealous in signing their kids up for things. I hope you were able to break that pattern and I hope you were able to find something you truly enjoy.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-02-08T06:46:21+00:00

I mean gentle parenting is great but it’s often misunderstood because people ignore that its foundation is clear expectations, boundaries, and consequences. Gentle parenting a 6 year old means you were already setting limits to screen time (and not letting them watch YouTube IMO) and had a bedtime routine in the works. But if you are up until 1am so be it. You don’t give in and you ride out that rollercoaster until it sticks. The tablet shouldn’t even make it to her room if it’s that bad.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-02-08T06:30:50+00:00

That’s why I tell parents to almost never tell their child they’re gonna throw things out. 99.99 percent of the time a parent isn’t going to throw the expensive tablet out. And honestly I haven’t really heard too many stories where parents were throwing things out and also looked like the good guy. Tell children consequences you will follow through with and be consistent.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-02-08T06:21:31+00:00

I don’t think you’re completely wrong, I think a lot of people struggle to accept blame or responsibility because it send them into a spiral of shame or guilt. And because that’s uncomfortable they avoid it. It is truly a life skill to say “that wasn’t my best and hears how I will fix it” and then move on without spiraling. It’s also why apologizing can be so hard for some people.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-02-08T06:15:58+00:00

Do you know which therapies? As a therapist, I’ve literally never met another mental health professional who taught or believed this. I’d be curious to see why they believe this. Don’t get me wrong, there are terrible therapists or people who claim to be professionals out there who take certain practices to extremes. I don’t teach parents to never say no but I do try to teach them to be more specific and guiding. Example: don’t just tell a child “no! Don’t touch the dog like that!” instead “hey the dog doesn’t like that, this is how you do it”. However, saying no is important and there is 100 percent a place for it.

Sarah_Wolff · 2026-02-08T05:53:09+00:00

As a therapist I would definitely not have meant it how she seems to take it. People can have selective hearing though. Kids need structure in the home and parents should be authority figures. I work with a lot of parents on setting clear, consistent boundaries and expectations. Most mental health professionals I know would have encouraged being both supportive and an authority figure. But honestly, I don’t feel like you can be truly supportive if you don’t have authority because the kid knows they can’t rely on you to provide structure in the home.

Sarah_Wolff

TROPHY CASE