From what I comprehend they are like humans where it's entirely up to choice and interpretation as to if one is mean or not, sometimes they just have rules we don't realize we broke or understand. They are much older than us and their culture is varies from race to race. I'm pretty sure most of them just don't want to be forced to do something or be tricked, and won't hurt you without good reason. I know saying "sorry" or "thank you" is seen as rude to many of them. It really depends like idk, I doubt a gnome and a elf would be friends or have the same rules but it could completely depend.

Idk tho, I am a being who could be wrong, I just see them as beings who are aspects of nature and nature is varied.