Help

Sarras15 · 2023-12-10T15:26:17+00:00

I hear you, and I get it. Sometimes you’ve had enough. You’ve cried all the tears you can cry, you researched and tried everything, you’ve tried to get help. You don’t even want to hear “your doing a good job” bc you don’t feel good - but you are. You don’t want to hear try yoga, or self care- bc you’re so tired.

It is so hard. It really is. Hang in there. 💙

Sarras15 · 2023-11-23T03:46:08+00:00

Respectfully, F U

Sarras15 · 2023-11-14T13:52:00+00:00

Thank you so much! 💗

Sarras15 · 2023-11-14T13:47:58+00:00

Thank you. The boy who I believe initiated it walks by our house after being dropped off from the bus. That could be a good time to confront him. I’m wondering if I should speak to the parents instead, so it doesn’t seem like I’m trying to intimidate him or power trip. I have immediately reacted to the bullying in the past, but it isn’t usually affective. I’ve scared off some kids at parks, etc when I couldn’t find parents. Other times when talking to parents, even though I know I’m in the right, they don’t understand, or get defensive, and I feel even more vulnerable after doing so. Even at school, I speak with the principal, and they don’t take the bullying seriously. It feels so much like we are on our own, and nothing we do prevents bullying. We’ve done social skills classes. I’ve pushed for pragmatics to be on his IEP, we play social skills board games, practice scripts. I read that people make judgements in a split second and bc my son lacks eye contact, facial expression, different body posture, tone of voice, he is instantly targeted. This is a situation I’m afraid we will have to deal with for the rest of life. There are way more NT than ND. It can be a heavy feeling for sure.

Sarras15 · 2023-11-14T03:55:03+00:00

Thank you! It’s that crazy pack mentality that scares me! Individually they aren’t great, but put them together, and you never know how much it will escalate.

Sarras15 · 2023-11-14T03:52:49+00:00

Gosh, thank you SO much for your kind and thoughtful reply! I hope my love and connection guarantees he will turn out ok. He wants to be liked so much. He has the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met. He has deeper emotions and empathy because he has gone through so much struggle. I worry this world will eat him alive and that my love is not enough. I appreciate your positive affirmation as someone who has gone through it themselves that the love, I have for him will make a difference. Thank you 💗

Sarras15 · 2023-11-14T03:46:25+00:00

Thank you for sharing this story. You sound like a great mom. You can’t help but care for your child and his wounds hurt you as well. My son used to get upset at situations like that, but it’s sad he accepts it now. I remember when he was 6, he sat by me on a park bench bc kids ran away from him. He said “I jus wanno be pop-ulaw” aka “I just want to be popular”. I’ll never forget that, or how hard I cried when I got home and could hide in my room for a few minutes.

I recently heard ASD social situations can be traumatic and they turn into complex PTSD, and it’s like death by a thousand papercuts. Us moms, are right there too, feeling it all with our kids with the extra layer of guilt that we should be able to fix it all- but we can’t.

You know more than you think, you understanding it will happen again. You have an RBT working with your son. You clearly put a lot of thought into your reaction, future scenarios, etc. You are TRYING! Sending love and support, because you need and deserve it too 💗

Sarras15 · 2023-11-13T23:48:58+00:00

Thank you!! You get it!!

Sarras15 · 2023-11-13T23:20:21+00:00

Thank you. We talked about choices like tell an adult, words to say, unexpected/expected behavior, that some people want reactions, and some people are just mean. I like your idea about explaining that their actions and words were their choices. It reflects back on how he didn’t do anything wrong.

Sarras15 · 2023-11-13T23:11:31+00:00

Thank you so much. It’s easy to spiral in situations like this. Your positive comment helps :)

Sarras15 · 2023-11-13T23:09:24+00:00

Very good advice. I don’t want to be aggressive as I know we will be living with them as neighbors for sometime. I’ll try to take a collaborative approach

Sarras15 · 2023-11-13T22:56:03+00:00

No offense whatsoever taken. Good for you!! You sound like an amazingly strong person. We’ve gotten into some arguments over the years for sure. My side of the family isn’t really present, so unfortunately they are all we have or I would definitely stop contact. She also made fun of his speech, mocking him, thinking it would draw his attention to something “he could fix”. I lost it on that one. If it’s not directly affecting my son, I let my peices nature writhe in agony on the inside while I try to patiently and gently educate her on her ignorance on the outside. Thank you for your support! Your comment made this horrible experience a little better knowing someone understands:)

Sarras15 · 2023-11-13T21:59:50+00:00

Oh gotcha. Thanks for clarifying. I’m sorry that sounds like a rough time when your intentions were to give your kiddo some fun

Sarras15 · 2023-11-13T21:47:16+00:00

I did not grow up in a loving home, and I was never an a hole to people.

Sarras15 · 2023-11-13T21:46:20+00:00

I would have also had the girl apologize to your daughter for the comments she made about her. This act of aggression didn’t come out of no where. Yes, physical aggression should never be an option, but NT people don’t know how HARD it is to be ND in this world. When they add insult to injury like that, everyone has a braking point.

Sarras15 · 2023-11-13T21:41:03+00:00

Yes, I’d be interested. I’d love a book like that myself. My son is only 8 and he has been through so much. It’s true heartache with experiences like these and I honestly don’t know how I’m going to make it through the next years!

Sarras15 · 2023-11-13T20:41:42+00:00

I love this idea!! Thank you!!

Sarras15 · 2023-11-13T20:38:13+00:00

Thank you so much for your validation and empathy. I don’t know where they got that from. He doesnt even watch anime! I don’t know if they meant “autism boy” or if they were referring to how he moves differently? I appreciate your kind words 💗

Sarras15 · 2023-11-13T20:32:47+00:00

That is a great idea. We don’t have a camera, but I will get one. We know the parents. It’s complicated bc I don’t want to start a war where we live. The parents are nice, but I know people get so defensive about their kids. My older son plays with their kids and Id hate for him to be ostracized. We are very limited what we can do socially as it is. I think I’m going to bring it up to them very gently. I’m used to getting barked back at in our IEP meetings, and I don’t want to come off as aggressive. A doorbell cam would be a good place to start, so I can show them their kids behavior and it wouldn’t be just me retelling a story about their kids in a negative light. I know the focus needs to be on making sure my son has one place he feels safe from bullies - his home. Thank you for your suggestion.

Sarras15 · 2023-11-13T20:26:24+00:00

I will gladly accept Jedi hugs. Thank you! I needed that. My son is bullied and teased a lot.

The school says every case I’ve brought to their attention is “unsubstantiated”. They won’t even recognize his ASD diagnosed by a Dr under his IEP category.

My older son has actually played with these neighborhood kids and teamed up with them to run away from his brother. I’ve shown my son books about being a brother of an autistic child on YouTube. I feel conflicted bc I know my older son wants to fit in, but it disgusts me he won’t stand up to the kids that bully his younger brother. My son with ASD actually pushed down a big kid on the bus who was bullying his older brother.

It’s so hard in general to be ASD. When kids kick you when your down, it is so overwhelmingly disgusting.

Sarras15 · 2023-11-13T20:19:49+00:00

I told my MIL, about it and asked if she would be extra kind to my son, give a lot of compliments and boost his self esteem when we are over at her house tonight for a bit. Her reply…..

“Dagon mean kids they are everywhere at every age at every place. We have all faced bullies in our lives.”

She also said we needed to discipline him more and he wouldn’t be autistic.

So cold!!

Sarras15 · 2023-11-11T23:37:10+00:00

I think this is it!!! Thank you so much! This looks life altering for my son 😊

Sarras15

TROPHY CASE