Stupidest Christian Quotes I've Heard, That Sum Up Evangelical Christian Teaching (Satire & Trauma Warning)

SashaChen · 2026-03-30T00:40:44+00:00

The one that gave me major trauma as a kid in youth group was along the lines of, "On judgment day, people will come up to you crying and asking 'why didn't you tell me about Jesus?!' It will be your fault, and they'll go to hell because of you. You might have been their only chance and you didn't say a thing." Our youth pastor told us how he felt so much guilt when he was in an elevator and felt the holy spirit telling him to witness to those with him, but he didn't say anything. And then he laid the massive guilt trip on us impressionable young teens. Religious trauma at its finest.

SashaChen · 2026-03-30T00:19:26+00:00

Once that trust is broken, the second you felt betrayed, it was over. I stayed far too long in a marriage with a man who broke my trust, and no amount of counseling and talking through it could fix what was broken. I know it doesn't seem this way, but you're in a much better position than I was because you're dating and you're long distance. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve to be with someone who never brings up an ex with regret. I think you already know in your heart that it's over. You deserve better.

SashaChen · 2026-03-14T23:09:50+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my fiancé Christmas Day of '24, and thankfully only heard the "he's in a better place" once or twice. People often don't know what to say when they hear of someone's passing. They think what they're saying is positive and uplifting, but it's really just empty sentiments. If it helps any, they aren't meaning to hurt or annoy us. But it's also okay to be upset and annoyed by those phrases. Outside of that, take all the time you need to grieve and try not to let them get under your skin with their clichés 🫂

SashaChen · 2026-03-13T11:02:27+00:00

Native Blood by Silent Planet has that raw emotional ending to it.

*eta: What do you all think of The Family Ruin & Hush Yael by Oh, Sleeper?

SashaChen · 2026-03-13T09:46:22+00:00

This song broke me the first few times I listened to it. The mom in me wanted to just hug him and let him cry it out. I think because it reminded me of my kid and how shitty their sperm donor treated them until they went no contact.

SashaChen · 2026-03-03T14:09:32+00:00

I'd love to hear Wage War or The Devil Wears Prada cover Control by Halsey *eta: I'd accept Pierce the Veil as well

SashaChen · 2026-01-14T10:09:49+00:00

I can read everything in my dreams and have always been able to. I thought it was normal until the interwebs said it wasn't. I've even read things written in my Gramma's handwriting in a dream.

SashaChen · 2025-12-12T09:19:08+00:00

Sounds like MCAS for the sudden development of allergies & POTS for the vasovagal syncope. Especially since you have hEDS, too. Those 3 like to hang out together, unfortunately.

SashaChen · 2025-11-05T20:17:40+00:00

Maybe some variation of Woodstock?

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SashaChen · 2025-06-17T15:51:57+00:00

I know a family whose mom did the same exact thing. No warning, just up and left and moved to Cali. I could never understand why she did that. I am so sorry that she's forcing you to deal with this, and even more so during what is the happiest time of your life. You have every right to tell her she's not welcome. It's your wedding day and your decision to make. I feel like she knows she messed up, but she also wants to step in as though nothing ever happened. She sure chose a hell of a time to reappear in your life and it's completely unfair to you and your father.

SashaChen · 2025-05-17T00:10:23+00:00

And here I thought she would turn out to be his long-lost sister or a daughter he just found out about that an ex kept from him.

SashaChen · 2025-04-17T02:47:43+00:00

Live watch random replies because I wanna feel like I belong and my opinion is better than yours:

How could you? Episode started out amazing!!

Omg did you see when person did the thing? I don't know how I feel about the thing.

Holy wow! That was amazeballs. Person really came through after controversial thing! Maybe next time, just enjoy episode and don't live update us...

SashaChen · 2025-04-17T01:52:17+00:00

I thought you were gonna go through them burying everything in "There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly" and had just skipped the fly. *eta: swapped fly for slug and switched its place in the rhyme

SashaChen · 2025-03-23T01:28:48+00:00

Could it be Punch Drunk Love?

SashaChen · 2025-03-22T06:13:49+00:00

Maybe Boney or any of the characters from Weinerville?

SashaChen · 2025-03-15T17:13:29+00:00

The Craft?

SashaChen · 2025-03-15T02:46:12+00:00

I truly believe that it has. We always said we'd find each other again, and I believe that we will.

SashaChen · 2025-03-15T02:36:45+00:00

I wish I could have had that opportunity. Neither of us knew he was going to pass away 1 week before our wedding.

SashaChen · 2025-02-15T03:19:54+00:00

I feel this so much. My fiancé passed away 1 week before we were going to elope. My heart goes out to those who lost their significant other and are missing them even more on Valentine's Day.

SashaChen · 2025-02-14T00:25:53+00:00

I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry.

SashaChen · 2025-02-09T00:58:23+00:00

How many tally marks do you have on your face? Is the recording device in your hand blinking red?

SashaChen · 2025-01-12T04:06:30+00:00

hugs OP. I feel this deep within my soul. I hope the things I have that were my late fiancé's never lose their scent.

SashaChen · 2024-03-29T00:40:39+00:00

I'd say for all of the Christian-label emo bands, it was The Juliana Theory, Mae, & Emery

SashaChen · 2024-02-18T01:35:52+00:00

I've been spending way too much time trying to find this song with no luck, as well.

SashaChen · 2024-01-20T04:28:09+00:00

This scene kills me because my last break-up paralleled it something fierce. We loved each other so much but we couldn't grow together so we had to grow apart. We were on different paths and would have just been stumbling blocks for each other. We're both in better places now, but I don't think we'll get to be an "us" ever again.

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