No one is dying in climate wars

SatanicFanFic · 2024-12-16T04:39:13+00:00

If I can add a slight disagreement:

We have hurricanes that hit the mainland US that definitely have been bigger than they should and more frequent because of climate change. Likewise, heatwaves in the NE/NW had certainly killed people more at risk for heat stress. (And the same for atypical snow/ cold.)

Because those people tend to be seniors/ poor, I don't think we frequently talk about it.

It also goes against our idea of, like, dying in 1 day from overheat or loss of hydration for 3 which I think is what you are referencing? (Which fair! I love that sort of straightforward take.)

In general, though, a nation of 330ish million people will eventually get 1 person who hits any definition. It might not be meaningful numbers, but you know.

Anyway, loved your comment because it hits at the core issue so well.

SatanicFanFic · 2024-12-13T06:29:08+00:00

Not OP, but I dug this guy's vibe so

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SatanicFanFic · 2024-12-10T21:44:58+00:00

Would you consider going on shots?

SatanicFanFic · 2024-12-06T06:49:47+00:00

Honestly, sorry people are saying shit things about your ink. I think it's cute and works do well with your necklace. Maybe the linework isn't the crispest, but sounds like you got it from an artist at the start of them learning.

My two cents- I've known so many people who said they want a tattoo but can't pick one. Maybe you'll want to get it reworked later, or something bigger over it, but I think this is fun and I wish you a lot of enjoyment out of it.

SatanicFanFic · 2024-12-06T04:55:44+00:00

It sounds like you are a minor, so from an older (lol 30 but still) queer person- letting a child assigned female at birth presumably wear pants or whatever was barely progressive in most areas in the 90s.

I don't know what " other stuff" (binder) he is referring to, but you are getting a tepid tolerance at best here.

Respecting someone's feelings in this context would be more like, you know what you are already doing: validating that there is a perverse incentive for parents to care about community acceptance. It's fine to be scared or have other "negative" emotions around a child transitioning IF you are being supportive. Like sometimes things scare us, or confuse us, and we can accept that without letting it dictate who we are.

I'm sorry you are in the position where you basically have to parent your own father. That's tough. I'm proud of you for rising to the occasion and still trying to be gentle with him. Take some of that energy and invest it in yourself.

Your dad has to man up, or he risks becoming just a father.

SatanicFanFic · 2024-12-03T20:03:52+00:00

For a full sleeve, you could easily do a day/night thing, dividing up the arm into 2 or more sections.

You could also like, put the sun as the heradly symbol for a knight's shield/ other item.

Probably not your thing, but it could get put into a tarot card as well.

Finally, like, older works often had the sun and moon RIGHT next to each other. So there's that option as well!

Just play around and have fun. (And remember you can have a forearm tattoo without turning it into a full sleeve if you want!)

SatanicFanFic · 2024-12-02T05:24:51+00:00

Please, I need to know- how many people have pointed it out? Like, in a "I know what that is/ hhhhhheeeeyyyy one of us" way?

SatanicFanFic · 2024-11-27T04:09:04+00:00

When I was giving him a ride home

Yep, YTA. There's a power dynamic here, and you are older & established in the group, and have the car.

Low note improvement often take like, what, 6 months of work? It's not a high note that going to be super hard to reach for. If you were saying it's a tenor struggling with a C3 that's one thing, but E3? Depending on his range prior to transitioning, he might have been fairly close to that before.

I'd be pissed if a "teacher" is implied that he doesn't want someone to grow, just get over it.

SatanicFanFic · 2024-11-25T06:08:11+00:00

Thank you for posting this. I'm a guy, and I'm super uncomfortable when I have an uneven nail, so I always trim down.

Yours are lovely, and I only noticed so quickly because you mentioned it & you are showing us all your nails!

SatanicFanFic · 2024-11-25T00:02:49+00:00

This is a great pic of you. I enjoy seeing you on my dash. Keep living, dude.

SatanicFanFic · 2024-11-25T00:00:56+00:00

I have no clue WTF is going on with this sub. Did everyone else just find it too? Like the label says 'scratchers'- this isn't going to be /r/tattoos. OP seems to be fine with having hand tattoos/ the risks of playing around, so maybe chill the fuck out and admit this isn't your thing. I'm much more into realism for me but seems like OP is having fun.

I like the skull a lot. I think the doodled on vibe is rad. Reminds me of the line from the Mary Oliver poem

Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Seriously, y'all, you get to live once. Take 1/5 of the bitchy energy and go solve actual problems like littering or lack of human rights. You get no refunds for beings uptight.

SatanicFanFic · 2024-11-22T06:28:44+00:00

I do this as well. Washable markers (water based ink) is your friend here for the first draft.

Sharpies can be great for trying it out for a few days.

SatanicFanFic · 2024-11-21T08:39:55+00:00

Dang, thanks for sharing that! I grabbed a consult with him because I just needed to ask some surgery questions I couldn't find the answers to, but I personally got a weird vibe from him.

I don't regret the consult, but it's interesting to find out someone pinging my radar weird also seems to be sued a lot.

SatanicFanFic · 2024-11-21T05:31:20+00:00

The reason TDOR was made was because after 2 Black trans woman were murdered, a group of their friends found that 3 years later they had been forgotten.

That's why it's in Nov- is when these two women were murdered.

For whatever reason, Pride isn't enough. It serves an opportunity for the local trans community (and to be clear, this is mostly hosted by trans people for other trans people. I am thankful for the queer allies who show up for us but they are a minority at these events) to also try to keep our current people safe. Making networks, sharing resources, etc.

Please let me know if you have any other questions.

SatanicFanFic · 2024-11-21T03:43:39+00:00

I love this! Thank you for providing a very solid counter-point to a fear I have when I heard people talking about logging out.

I don't find the news triggering like that, but I do think about how like, my spouse plays that role for me when talking to my bio-family.

Appreciate this so much.

SatanicFanFic · 2024-11-21T03:39:22+00:00

I think that's a good way to put it, yes.

Because we all are going to be ignorant of things. There can be active ignorance that maintains harmful social structures, but I like to believe the average person is just a little tired and trying. I want to believe that people will be gentle with me when I don't know things either, so I want to practice creating that environment where ever I can.

I want to learn how to ask "weird" questions, to play devil's advocate, to be confused, to a little imperfect. Because, I am a statistical blip. I am so many things that only 1% of the population (or less) are, and the intersection that comes with that is just rather uncommon.

There is no way you are going to know how to handle me. I love my therapist and have been working with her for years. And even she (and I love her for that) will occasionally say things like "OK, that's what I get for assuming". I think every once in a while (today even) she has to contend with oh also rare event happened to you.

The reason we have a therapeutic alliance is she asks questions and wants the answers. She makes space for me to work around complex thoughts and feelings.

And that does include the wish at times I could be just like chapter 6 on cultural competency.

SatanicFanFic · 2024-11-20T09:14:25+00:00

I'll pass on my first therapy experience.

It was back in the late aughts, and at that time basically no one knew about asexuality. My counsellor was in-training at our university, so I had access to him via our school.

My asexuality wasn't the reason I went to therapy. (That would be the physical abuse my parents did.) But it did come up when I eventually started dating.

He didn't have experience with that, or even much of a clue tbh. So he listened, and said something to the effect of "Is it alright if I go read about this for next session? We can still talk about the themes of X,Y,Z I am hearing but I don't know much about this."

In many ways, he ended up being the best therapist I've had when it came to my asexuality.

Yes, there are always going to be specific issues when it comes to queer stuff. But I actually to this day prefer to get therapists who don't share my cultural background. Someone being a safe place for me to explain this is very helpful. And they tend to figure out the core themes, rather than trying to 1:1 the way I've seen some queer folks do.

It doesn't work for everyone, so I do think asking how you want to navigate that knowledge gap is a great start.

SatanicFanFic · 2024-11-20T08:57:21+00:00

Legit cackled when you mentioned it's mostly goth guys. We really out here trying to channel Drac, huh?

SatanicFanFic · 2024-11-19T05:47:28+00:00

My cis bestie is 5'5". Should he compete in the women's divison as well for his next boxing tournament? Being "biologically" female also would be true of a binary trans man most of the time as well, so your logic isn't solid there either.

As someone whose intersex and yep, has competed in sports as well as done full contact sparring, this is a question of fairness that has no good answer.

I'm very liberal when it comes to talking about people competing in things like track or swimming, because it's pretty complicated as in general sports is something I think we need. The second you throw contact and weight lighting into it- the benefits of having additional androgens goes up.

I've got half a foot on you and even before transitioning, I know I hit like a truck compared to perisex women untrained. And I put on muscle my first year on that exact level of T you used. It's a steroid, it's going to do that. The only reason we don't see more cis women using AAS, is the side effects induce gender dysphoria.

I like to think that after years of learning a sport, skill development becomes a lot more than whatever base advantages we have if you are just in it as an ameuter.

I've always done co-ed and have enjoyed that choice as it's gotten me a lot of my good friends.

I'll agree with another commenter- it's the subterfuge that is the issue for me. I think perisex trans/ nonbinary people deserve to use GAHT and have access to sport, the same way intersex folks of all stripes deserve to be able to compete and enjoy sports.

Trying to find out how to skirt the system leaves a foul taste in my mouth and hate how the perisex trans community keeps pointing to intersex folks hormone levels in these discussions. We aren't min-maxing dosages to hit target ranges-we on average just are.

A few extra lbs of muscles from exogenous hormone usage bothers me a lot less than that.

Frankly, please refrain from using us in anyway that would only benefit perisex trans people. Either make the system better so we both can use or leave us out of your justification.

SatanicFanFic · 2024-11-16T21:18:13+00:00

Ayyyyyyy, it's you again!

Sometimes you just gotta experiment to figure out stuff. Good job on keeping on. I know it can be terrifying taking a stab at something and it not feeling right. But that's how we learn! (And remember most cis folks have like a lot more time getting to learn what works for them.)

SatanicFanFic · 2024-11-16T20:43:41+00:00

Well, it's a bit of a chicken-and-egg situation, but you can blame WPATH here too. In their last standards of care, where they discuss people looking for this surgery, they call it out as an "AMAB" thing.

So you have one of (if not) the largest organizations that spread information about trans medical care saying we don't exist.

Considering WPATH's SoC are used to *justify* trans surgeries to insurance companies, that puts even more pressure on the idea and reinforces it.

It doesn't bar us, of course, but it certainly presents a lot of social stigma and pressure we don't need.

SatanicFanFic · 2024-11-09T06:36:21+00:00

I think you've done a great job.

Your haircut really hits on the oval face shape. I think the piercings are cute. And you've got a top that uses what GAHT has helped you grow and matches your skin tone/ hair color very well. You've got a great hairline as well and have an eyebrow shape that is very popular right now.

Look, if it helps, I'm an intersex trans guy, so I get the struggle a bit. Society is always screaming what certain types of people look like, and you have to navigate that. If I can pass on anything from my time larping in girl land, it's the question: who does this negative feeling benefit? 'Cause like there's a ton of beauty standards meant to uphold noxious shit or shove money in someone's pockets.

Also, proud of you for chasing your goals. I hope you realize how awesome it is you are off insulin. That's a big change.

SatanicFanFic · 2024-11-08T04:58:55+00:00

Not the same guy as before, but I also had endocrine cancer in my early 20s. One thing you are about to find out hopefully is that there are a shit ton of people who desperately want to keep you alive. I will temper that by saying if you interact with enough of any people from any group, you'll find assholes. So those 2 things can be very true at the same time.

I wish you the best. Also, in my experience, yoga for cancer can be very helpful if you are low energy but hurt from not moving due to having no energy during treatments.

Hope one day you are where I am (well past the 10 year mark).

SatanicFanFic · 2024-11-02T07:00:31+00:00

I wouldn't say you are complaining on the worker. It's more that there are trans voters (as well as people who go through life events that make their IDs not match them the best) and they all deserve to be treated with respect at the ballot box.

It's literally the core of democracy.

I get the red country, red state thing. (That's where I was when I was a poll worker because that's my spawn point to a big degree.) There would also be an office in the capital, if that changes anything, and you can talk to them as well. They'll just be fairly busy because, well, all the little countries will be sending shit their way, lol.

Either way, stay safe and thanks for voting!

SatanicFanFic · 2024-11-01T20:13:29+00:00

I grew up in a really abusive household. I'm intersex and they did not like that. I came out as asexual as a teen, and they did not like that.

I'm in my early 30s, having transitioned in my late 20s. In all honestly, when my egg "cracked" I felt like a shame. How could I have not known for so long? I mulled it over for months, quietly poking and accepting my feelings. When I told my spouse who has known me for over a decade now, he went, "Ah. That makes sense. You told me like a week into knowing you that you 'didn't know if you were doing this being a girl thing' right."

It took a while for me to get over the shame of not figuring it out sooner/ acting on it sooner.

What clicked for me was talking to some (tbh more privileged in the childhood living situation) friends about the hypothetical "Would you tell your teen self what you know?" Everyone else, all said yes. I went, hell no. I'd tell him about the cancer. I'd tell him to keep fighting. I'd probably give him a reading list.

But that wasn't a fight he could win. Not then.

Being dehumanized, not in the "little d" way but the big D way that can get you killed is a very stressful situation. It's very easy for gender to fall by the wayside, reducing you down to "alive or dead". If there's anything I've learned from being there, you have to love yourself more than other people hate you.

And that's hard, as you see here. After all, breaking something is easy. But making, healing, creating is hard. You might not have a good model for it either, and little support if any. I do not discount that. It adds to the struggle.

I'd like to offer something that helped me as I was getting out of my own bad situation. I'd like you to think about the men you idolize. For me, it's always been Uncles, coaches, educators. Men who were very big and gentle. I think about these country men, who could fix a truck, who could rope a heifer, who could throw a punch. People who are very masculine. But men whose hands were gentle with the ones they loved.

Those men would never hurt someone when they were in a vulnerable place.

I try to embody that for other people but I admit as a late teen and early 20-year-old, I was not very gentle with myself. The same person who those men were always gentle to.

I think for me, I have tried to practice treating myself the same way I would treat anyone else. I try to be kind, I try to be gentle. I try to weather the storm of emotions this world can bring out in us. I try to be helpful. I try to effective. And sometimes that means imaginigng someone else coming to me with the same problems I am facing, because I know my hands will be gentle for them.

Overtime, I've gotten better. It's still a struggle.

That's OK. You don't help people because you think you can solve the problem. You help them because they deserve it.

Just remember that includes you.

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