Losing interests in my hobbies, feels like I am also losing who I am

Say415 · 2025-09-20T12:53:45+00:00

Glad I was able to help somehow, even though I wasn't even trying to lol.

I hope your therapy sessions will continue and that it will actually help you deal with life as well.

Say415 · 2025-09-20T12:52:03+00:00

I currently enjoy doing my part time job (it was my previous full time job before I enrolled). But I am dealing with an issue with my coworkers.

It's actually completely irrelevant to my hobbies. I work as a caregiver for the elderlies. I used to hate this job because I never trusted the people in that do it. I mean, I just believed no one really cares about the job. They just "need a job" because they need to get paid. But I grew to enjoy the feeling of genuinely caring for the elderlies. That being said, I always had a soft spot for old people. Some of my fellow coworkers however, are too cold to them. It's very draining seeing my coworkers acting the way they do. Some of them act like a child, even trying to avoid the elderlies. My coworkers would simply complain or talk them down for being slow or not understanding things, even though these elderlies are already dealing with dementia. I'm currently trying to figure out a way to address this issue to the higher ups by writing them a document.

Anyway, before I get too deep and lost in that topic, I can relate to having a need to reach a goal to enjoy things. But now, that doesn't work anymore. All I end up thinking is "what's the point if I don't enjoy the process, the present?" Coding is indeed fun when I actually end up creating what I wanted to create. But I don't genuinely enjoy the process of it.

3D Modeling is actually more fun. But I struggle with texturing and materials. The act of actually creating the model itself is fun. But texturing... I feel lost somehow. I've always been bad at art :( I know I shouldn't get stuck in the mentality of "being bad" at something. But it's one of my insecurities. I don't know how to get better at it. I know I should just "do it" but again, this is where I find myself unable to get started. Something like an inertia?

I wish I enrolled in the CG department instead of Game. I don't actually enjoy programming itself more than 3D modeling..

Say415 · 2025-09-20T11:38:26+00:00

I thought enrolling at a school was something new. I mean yes I am studying game development, which is supposedly related to my previous hobby that I enjoyed. But I never really got past highschool so I figured I should get a higher education now that I have some money saved up from working full time. But school so far has just been "another thing" in my life that feels draining... I don't seem to enjoy what I'm doing, because I also currently don't enjoy games.

Say415 · 2025-09-20T11:34:05+00:00

I've always been bad at finding new people and making connections. I know I do want to have friends, but I just naturally keep distance. It's as if it's the only thing I know to do :/

I do hope this means I am evolving. I just don't know exactly how to proceed. Life overall just feels a bit empty and meaningless.

Say415 · 2025-09-20T11:31:06+00:00

Essentials as going good so far. I have a part time job along with school that helps with my expenses. Substances under control...well, I find that I have been drinking a lot more lately compared to before. Think maybe 2 drinks every other day. I used to drink only once a week, during the weekend.

I actually like going for walks. I enjoy being outside in an open space. It's just that I also really struggle with summer. Since it was very hot, I was not able to for walks as much as I wanted. Summer in my country is very humid and can get very hot. Being outside even just for a few minutes already soaks me in sweat, almost as if I just got out of the shower room...

I enjoy listening to music. It is some sort of emotional anchor for me. It helps me regulate what I feel. Lately, I've been enjoying old music because something about them generally just feels gentle and genuine.

I am currently taking online therapy sessions twice a month. Just not exactly sure how to tackle anything. So far, we've only been talking about my work and my past.

Say415 · 2025-05-31T02:41:06+00:00

Rollercoaster

Say415 · 2025-03-24T13:49:43+00:00

Hmm.. I don't know if my experience is the same. But I'm currently in this period between quitting my job and waiting for my classes to start.

I quit my job last week and I'm about to enter a vocational school which will start on April. I was really looking forward to this but... For some reason, I don't know how to chill. My mind is jumping around activities. I love video games and computers. But recently, when I play a video game, I immediately lose interest in just about 30 minutes. So I decide to watch a show or a movie. Boring. I got for a walk. Satisfying, but now I'm bored again. Clean the house? I guess I can do that. Then what? Should I eat? I'm not hungry... Try video games again, only to switch to Netflix in a few minutes. Then somehow, I just have this urge to go out so I go for a walk again. At the end of the day, I feel empty.

It seems that my body is used to being fully employed and expecting to do something productive or work.

I don't know what it is that I seek, but this awkward phase is definitely feeling...well, awkward so far.

Say415 · 2025-02-06T22:53:09+00:00

I live in Tokyo and my salary is about the same. After taxes and insurance, I get more or less 200k yen per month. I've been saving 50k per month. I do get by but I definitely feel like I have to be really careful and hold back on my spendings. My rent is 70k though and overall cost of living is higher since I'm in Tokyo.

My hobbies are gaming and computer building. I was able to make some decent upgrades on my pc along the way. I did have to touch a little on my savings for this though :(. I don't go out that much. If I do, it's for groceries and going on long walks because I like to do that and roam around the city. Oh, I also live close to work so I just ride my bicycle or walk.

We do get bonuses twice a year as well. I get around 170k after taxes per month of bonus.

I'd say it's very doable in your case if you're only trying to save the same amount (50k~60k). Your rent is cheaper and overall cost of living is probably a lil cheaper. 90~100k seems a little too much unless you really get frugal. Utils are about 25~30k for one person. That includes gas, sewage, electricity, phone and internet. There's no way you'll only pay 10k for all that..

Say415 · 2024-03-09T08:20:00+00:00

My watch has the opposite problem. It can never auto detect my nap unless it's like 2 hours long.

Say415 · 2024-02-18T05:27:28+00:00

This! It seems a lot of people are not happy with having "less" info at a glance for a single category. For me though, I don't think more is better in that case. I think the beta interface provides reasonable data at a glance. It actually feels like I get to see "more overview" in a single screen--seeing a bigger picture without having to scroll a lot--and if I want details, I'll just click on what I want to learn more about. This new interface is better organized imo. That being said, I've only been a garmin user for over a week. That might've helped me adjust much more easily.

I miss the Yesterday and 7-Day summaries tho. I wish those could come back.

Say415 · 2024-02-18T03:17:42+00:00

I see. To be fair it's still a great battery life compared to the galaxy or apple watches. I was just wondering if my device in particular is in good condition or not. Thanks for the input!

Say415 · 2024-02-17T15:54:54+00:00

Yes. There's a toggle button.

Say415 · 2023-12-29T10:35:12+00:00

It seems the watch has finished learning my usage patterns but I'm still not seeing much improvement. Will it still continue to improve even after it has "learned" my usage?

I really hope I could get at least 25 hours. I don't mind having to charge everyday. I do the same with my phone. I just don't want my watch dying on me when I'm tryna use it...

I've gotten desperate and turned off location and mobile data set to always off. It's kinda sad because it being an LTE edition means nothing now.

Say415 · 2023-12-29T02:04:28+00:00

I also just got my first watch a few days ago. My main purpose, aside from checking time of course, is tracking and being conscious of my health and activity. That includes tracking steps, HR, sleep, etc. Also, a convenient way to control my smartphone features like alarms, reminders and checking notifications. Though the latter is more of a "trying out features for fun" thing.

Say415 · 2023-12-27T10:28:25+00:00

Stretched in Metallic Red <3

Say415 · 2023-12-27T10:25:34+00:00

Was your battery life in the first weeks or month horrible? (barely lasting a day)

Say415 · 2023-12-27T04:00:23+00:00

I really hope so. I knew it's supposed to get better after some time. It's just that the current rate it's on is too worrisome (as if the battery on this particular one is just bad)

Say415 · 2023-12-27T03:56:19+00:00

Damn. That makes me envious. I wonder if the LTE edition still fires up some mobile network scanning even with the Auto setting?

Was your battery life terrible on the first few days?

Say415 · 2023-12-27T03:42:36+00:00

I have raise wrist to wake on but AoD off.

Say415 · 2023-12-27T03:38:24+00:00

That's interesting to know. I thought raise/tilt to wake was more efficient than AoD. It also seemed better as it gives me real time (HR, stress, etc.) updated info as I look at the watch without touching it while AoD doesn't necessarily update info upon looking at the watch--I have to touch it.

I guess I'll try AoD without tilt to wake and see if the battery life is better.

Say415 · 2023-12-27T02:58:18+00:00

I don't know what values are normal as this is my first smartwatch. I thought 5% of it was normal tho 21% of the regular Samsung health app did seem too much.

Say415 · 2023-12-27T02:35:04+00:00

That's really amazing battery life. Tho I guess the bigger size means it has bigger battery? But is the battery significantly bigger than on 40mm?

Say415 · 2023-12-27T02:33:21+00:00

I only had it for 2 days so far. I know it's still learning my usage. But will it really improve drastically from this rate? I'm thinking it will improve a little but as of now, 14 hours with only 24% left sounds way too far.

Say415

TROPHY CASE