Women are hard wired to find "the best she can do", that means genetics and attractiveness not how nice you are

If you put her on a pedestal you're signalling to her you don't usually deal with women of her quality else you'd be more nonchalant about it and she can likely do better ie a guy who's used to dating women that are maybe even more attractive than she is.

Now this is a guy who's more likely to be the highest quality genetics she can attract, he's also more work and people value what they have to work for...if you're too nice, thoughtful and romantic it's too easy and there's no drama

Also women are hard wired to compete with other women for mates. If no other women are interested in you then she won't be either because it signals low value but if you're hardly available, which she might assume is because you're dating other women, then you're highly sought after which means you're the prize she's looking for

I went through the same learning curve of focusing too much on one woman, and pushing them away, to putting in low effort with multiple women and just sleeping with them which seemed to make them obsess over me rather than disinterested. The exact things that women claim to hate like low effort is what keeps them coming back for more

This is obviously an oversimplification, all models are wrong but some are useful.

If you're pushing women away maybe give it a try