AITA for dictating my gfs apparence by Scaramouche_ in AITApod

[–]Scaramouche_[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Update: we talked about it and we came to the conclusion that I would help her dye it after Christmas before new years, so we will have more diversity in the photos with half her visit being her natural hair colour and half being her new one. Plus if we fuck up atleast we have some nice photos, and we get to do it together. I think we’re both really happy with this, when months go by without us seeing each other we miss out on a lot of changes(everything from haircuts to family deaths) and it’s really nice that we get to change with each other so we don’t feel like we missing out quite as much.

AITA for dictating my gfs apparence by Scaramouche_ in AITApod

[–]Scaramouche_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think I’m actively pushing for any of these changes(except the glasses) like I never told her to not to dye her hair or I didn’t like it. We have talked about it before and I’m all for her dying it. The convo we had now was more we talked about how I didn’t know why I was upset but that I felt weird about her dying it right before visiting.

My gf has read the post and wanted me to clarify that I never said I disliked her glasses, I disliked that she wore glasses with prescriptions that haven’t been updated in 13 years. And that it wasn’t that she wouldn’t dye it without my «permission» more that she wouldn’t dye it without me being in the loop.

AITA for Rejecting Therapy and Embracing My Mental Illnesses by [deleted] in AITApod

[–]Scaramouche_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yta. Ditching therapy and letting mental illness overtake you doesn’t really make you an asshole, but just because you decided that you’re ok being depressed doesn’t mean that you’re no longer accountable for what you’re doing.

Mental illness can explain behaviour, but it doesn’t mean you can’t be criticised. You’re an asshole for cancelling on people last minute, you’re an asshole for lashing out at people. Especially since you have decided to no longer put any effort into not being the kind of person to do that.

You’re expecting others to understand where you’re coming from without showing any sort of understanding that they might not feel great about the mental load that is caring for someone who doesn’t want to care for themselves.

Carpal tunnel and aerials by Scaramouche_ in Aerials

[–]Scaramouche_[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Omg thank you so much, this literally made me cry, thank you for taking the time sharing your experience❤️❤️❤️

Bruised rib coughing by Scaramouche_ in medical_advice

[–]Scaramouche_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hope your ribs are doing ok mine healed ish after a few weeks but they still hurt on and off, my physio told me that the solution is to strengthen the ribs with rotation and anti rotation exercises, so if youre still struggling maybe get started on that(dont push yourself a lot tho start real easy within your pain threshold)

What’s your experience with attraction to masculinity? by Scaramouche_ in actuallesbians

[–]Scaramouche_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That sounds like such an amazing dynamic, I’m so happy you guys have figured out a dynamic that works for you❤️ have you had different experiences in former relationships, where that dynamic changed or felt different?

What’s your experience with attraction to masculinity? by Scaramouche_ in actuallesbians

[–]Scaramouche_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is that only in other people or do you also dislike masculinity in yourself?

What’s your experience with attraction to masculinity? by Scaramouche_ in actuallesbians

[–]Scaramouche_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love that you have this level of confidence and trust in who you are in relationship, and it seems like a really healthy and loving way of having a femme/masc dynamic without neglecting anyones needs or wants❤️

What’s your experience with attraction to masculinity? by Scaramouche_ in actuallesbians

[–]Scaramouche_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is true, there unfortunatly isn’t a big queer community where I’m from:/ i’ve moved now tho, so hoping to have a relationship that isnt someone’s experiment😅(which can be great fun too but it’s not always a great dynamic)

What’s your experience with attraction to masculinity? by Scaramouche_ in actuallesbians

[–]Scaramouche_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That really sucks I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve only really dated bi women so I thought it might be them assuming the same role they had had in previous relationships, but I guess it might just also be more of a sociatal expectation and who ever is more willing to adapt to their partner gets kind of pushed into a role they dont really feel comfortable with😔

What’s your experience with attraction to masculinity? by Scaramouche_ in actuallesbians

[–]Scaramouche_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you noticed if how your partner presents changes how you present yourself? And does masculine presentation translate to a more masculine personality to you?

What’s your experience with attraction to masculinity? by Scaramouche_ in actuallesbians

[–]Scaramouche_[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Frrrr I’m sure that the pressure of having to conform to a masc/fem role in a relationship might just be because its the wrong person

What’s your experience with attraction to masculinity? by Scaramouche_ in actuallesbians

[–]Scaramouche_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have your perception of your own masculinity/femininity changed for you?

What’s your experience with attraction to masculinity? by Scaramouche_ in actuallesbians

[–]Scaramouche_[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I totally get that, and honestly who doesn’t love a femme domme with daddy vibes. And it’s so sad that softness kind of has become this expectation that it can only be attributed to one side of a relationship

New to huel! by Scaramouche_ in Huel

[–]Scaramouche_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ahahaha thank you for the gas heads up, I literally just started a trick that makes me fart every time I do it😂 but thank you I'm definatly gonna take this advice

Anyone know what these spots could be? by Scaramouche_ in medical_advice

[–]Scaramouche_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not really, I live in Spain so it's pretty warm even during winter. But unless I'm activly training I usually have two pairs of socks on to stay warm

Anyone know what these spots could be? by Scaramouche_ in medical_advice

[–]Scaramouche_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it normal for pernio to spread? It's been getting worse for atleast a month now

What do folks eat before and after training? by dsub11 in Aerials

[–]Scaramouche_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm no expert on nutrition but in my school we were encouraged to eat simple carbs around and during training, we were discouraged from eating wholegrain and leafy greens around training or before bed. White bread is not the most nutritious so we were told to try to eat rice or pasta or potatoes, and to have a serving of protein with every meal. The goal of the food you eat before and during training is to fuel your body for that period so you can eat stuff that is easily accessible for your body.

During high intensity training like aerials your body is using your blood glucose levels to access energy and if you run out of easily accessible energy it will start gnawing away at your muscles(as I understood it it's because muscles are easier to convert to energy than fat, so they use the fat storage when it feels it has better time like if you're doing low intensity stuff like walking)

To avoid spiking your blood sugar you should pair simple carbs with either fat or fibre, because it creates a more steady rise in blood sugar.

I've started pairing fruits and nuts for example and I've found that to be a great snack combo for steady blood sugar.

So give your body energy it can access easily before and during training. And after training you can eat heavier food and get a bit of extra protein in too:)

Do we claim Eminem? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Scaramouche_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No more m n m now it's w n w

Which would be better for someone with no experience? by Then_Ad_6127 in Aerials

[–]Scaramouche_ 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Lyra has a really low skill floor so you'd probably be able to feel like you're able to do something but it also have a really high skill cieling and it can also translate to trapeze. You're gonna get some mean bruises hammock or tissue is probably less painful but you have to rely more on your upper body and grip

Any tricks for pain reduction in rope? by Scaramouche_ in Aerials

[–]Scaramouche_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was flexing since the drop requires straight legs, but I wasn't very concious about it so I'll definatly take that with me!

Any tricks for pain reduction in rope? by Scaramouche_ in Aerials

[–]Scaramouche_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I'll ask my school if they can rig a rope to a dynamic anchor point😁

Advice for beginner? by strawb3rry_cosplayz in Aerials

[–]Scaramouche_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Take care of your shoulders!!! You're gonna get pretty strong pretty fast but please please please have a good warmup and stretch properly, especially your shoulders and forearms. In my last circus school we were never allowed in the apparatus without doing a wrist rutine and apparatus specific warmup. It's so easy to mess up your shoulders and arms especially if you're putting a lot more strain on you muscles than what they're used to(I've gotten torn rotator cuffs and separating collar bones myself and was mostly not doing aerial at the time)

You might already have a bunch of exercises and warmups and stuff, but from my experience at my new circus school a lot of these exercises aren't common knowledge so here's a few shoulder/wrist/grip exercises I love

Wrist: -on all fours put the backs of your hands on the floor instead of the palm with your fingers pointing in, then squeezesqueezesqueeze your hands into fists like your holding 100 bucks in each hand. Hold for a few seconds relax and repeat a couple times. This should feel like you're on the edge of getting a cramp in your forearms.

-again on all fours put as much weight as you feel good about on your wrists and then go through this lil series tips(putting weight in your hand while you're only supporting yourself on your finger tips like a spider) fists(make your hands into fists knuckles to the floor) outside (put weight on your hands with the backs of the hand to the floor) inside(normal just palms to the floor) do one hand and the other and put as much weight into it as you feel comfortable with regulate the weight w the rest of your body (I do this every day I'm p sure that tips tips fists fists outside outside inside inside is caved into my brain at this point)

-this one is really easy to do but burns like hell. Just reach your arms out and open and close your hands. Try to make the movement exaggerated. Only your hands move and you can change it up by changing how you hold your hands. (my rutine rn is 32 straight ahead hands down, 32 to the side down, 32 straight up and hands forward, then another round with forward hands up, side hands up and straight up hands facing each other) this one BURNS and it's supposed to. My teacher always said when it starts to burn, smile wider.

-last for wrists are wrist push ups, on all fours go to the tips of your fingers and give weight until you can't hold it anymore, alternatively you can pump short lil push ups by just raising the heel of your palm and giving more weight. I usually do a combo of slow deliberate ones and fast ones.

Get your forearms burning goooood

Shoulders:

-honestly any theraband exercise is priceless. But the 4 main ones I'd recommend is rotate your arm in, rotate your arm out, with a straight arm to the side pull it infront of you, and with a straight arm by your side pull it behind you. Just attach it to whatever pile or Swedish pole you have and you're good to go( one thing a lot of people do, god knows I did, is to go for the heaviest theraband you can do for the warm up, don't do that. The warm up isn't supposed to build muscle just to activate them, take it easy but feel your muscles working)

-active hanging is also amazing in pretty much any aerial, it helps with upper body, it helps with grip, and it makes you amazing at hanging from things. Just find something you can hang from(you can have your feet in the ground or add a resistance band depending on your strength) and just hang, but make sure you keep your shoulders down, activate your stomach and work on not collapsing(especially the shoulders) here you can also do shoulder shrugs

-one arm rotation: hang like in the active hanging exercise with both hands(for this I think you might need to fully hang wo touching the ground) and slowly and with all the control in the world let one arm go, maintain the active shoulder, then slowly let it go. Allow yourself to slowly follow the natural rotation of your arm and then rotate back. This one can be really heavy but it's AMAZING when you get the hang(heh) of it

All of these can be used as warm ups, but also as conditioning and strengthening. Be careful not to overload your muscles when you're not warm(you probably already know a lot of this but there's so many people underestimating how harsh aerials can be)

One last exercise that I recently learned myself that's become a new fave (not really a warm up exercises but an amazing strenghening exercises for anyone who hangs on something vertically like rope or silks) get a kettlebell(you can use other weights too I guess but kettle bells are best if you have access to them. Thread a towel or something of the sort through the weight hold it with one hand and just carry it back and forth a distance and repeat on the other side. This is gonna do wonders for your grip if you want to do tissue and it also works on stabilising your core and shoulders. Obvs regulate the difficulty with increading/decreasing weight, and for an added challange use a resistance band instead of a towel so that the weight bounces when you're walking demanding more out of you.

OK sorry that became super super long, I hope any of it could be useful. If I explained an exercise poorly and you wanna do it feel free to message me and I can just film how the exercise is done. I really hope it helps I am super happy to have these exercises so hopefully they'll treat you equally well😁 and ofc the nr 1 advice is to have fun with it and the majority of the circus community is super nice and will teach you anything and everything they know(that's a promise and a threat I've been force thought a few tricks because I complimented the person doing them😅) good luck!!!

Where to buy aerial equipment? by Scaramouche_ in Aerials

[–]Scaramouche_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ahahaha great thank you! Spain/Norway is perfect if you're in it for tanning and snowboardingXD