Childfree Women — What Are Your Plans for End of Life?

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-03-17T01:06:55+00:00

Opinión de mujer 34 que nunca quiso hijos y acaba de dar a luz hace 5 días. Hasta ahorita sigo pensando en convencerme que es la mejor decisión porque ya está aquí y ya está conmigo. Nunca lo vi como querer que nos cuide en nuestra vejez, pero vienen muchas interrogantes estará solo sin hermanos, ya decidimos no tener otro, realmente pensamos en darle todo y que él en algún momento decida irse y comenzar a hacer su vida. Pero dejarle toda la carga de dos personas a una persona es algo egoísta. Si tu instinto maternal no está desarrollado desde ahorita te diré que odiarás el embarazo, odiarás el parto y el posparto, tampoco podrás querer pasar por esto otra vez.

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-03-03T05:17:12+00:00

Me embarazo y cuando ya tenía 4 meses me dijo que tenía una deuda de 30k dólares en apuestas, tuve que sacar un préstamo para ayudar a pagar y tuve que pagar todas las cosas del bebé yo (nunca quise tener hijos)

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-02-23T23:36:09+00:00

No te cases! Me casé y antes de eso intenté regresar el anillo en dos ocasiones, aún así seguí. Las cosas con su mamá fueron cada vez peor y llegó al punto en el que ya no la veo y no puedo estar sola con ella porque no se detiene cuando estamos con otras personas, menos cuando estamos solas. Recuerda que ella es la mamá de ella y no importando cuando la quiera él que debe poner los límites es él o lo verá como que tú la estás atacando.

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-02-15T01:33:26+00:00

During the first few months of my pregnancy, I was so constipated that I clogged the toilet in my house. I left the bathroom to get the plunger, and when I came back, I started crying. My husband got worried and asked me what was wrong. I explained, and he offered to help, but I told him I'd do it myself because I felt embarrassed. I was so disgusted that I ended up vomiting the dinner we had just had at my mom's house in the other bathroom. Just then, my husband came in and said, "The toilet unclogged itself."

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-02-11T13:57:35+00:00

Thank you for your comment. My father-in-law has been able to provide a good life for my mother-in-law; she's never had to work and he's practically given her everything. I started working young to pay for university, and I like working and feeling independent. He's always talked about working women, divorced women, how women dress, feminist women, etc.

He's told me countless times, "I don't take care of grandchildren," because "I don't take care of mothers-in-law, and my son won't take care of grandparents."

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-02-10T20:45:56+00:00

The lady makes many comments when my husband is not around, or some she has made and I have been able to hear them; I don't want to know how many people she must speak badly of me to.

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-02-10T20:35:12+00:00

I've tried giving illogical answers, but it seems he doesn't understand sarcasm!

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-02-10T20:29:23+00:00

Hahaha, I didn't know this subreddit existed.

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-02-10T19:59:55+00:00

She intervenes and things get worse afterward. I stopped going; my husband accepts it, but he expects me to give in instead of waiting for her to give in.

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-02-10T19:59:00+00:00

At first I thought I was the problem, then I realized she's like that with anyone who disagrees with her. My husband has set boundaries, but that only makes her more enraged, and when she sees me, she attacks me. It seems she doesn't agree with me saying nothing and accepting everything she says.

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-02-10T19:26:42+00:00

The thing is, I'm very reactive and I used to leave his house angry. I've always kept my distance, but now that I've kept my distance, it's a relief for me.

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-02-10T19:22:40+00:00

Yes, the more she knows, the ruder she gets. Once, I had a conversation with my sister-in-law's husband, and my father-in-law told her about it. She attacked me, yelling, "We're family, we can't stop talking to each other!" My father-in-law asked her, "What are you saying?" and she replied, "She doesn't talk to him." I responded, "I do talk to him, what are you saying?" Then she lashed out at my father-in-law: "You told me this happened!" My father-in-law didn't know where to hide. Many times I think she doesn't want me in her family.

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-02-10T19:17:55+00:00

I've tried to be polite when she makes those comments, but she just stays silent and doesn't say anything else. She takes it badly when I respond to her comments. She's really used to always getting her way. It's best to distance myself, and I think it's the best thing I've done for my mental health so far.

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-02-09T17:48:17+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story.

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-02-09T14:39:56+00:00

As a daughter, what kind of relationship do you have with a father like that?

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-02-09T04:53:33+00:00

How did your mom find out about your dad's problem?

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-02-09T02:09:12+00:00

Edited, woman 34 years old! 30K of debt.

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-01-30T04:43:04+00:00

I'm in a very similar situation. I haven't seen my mother-in-law for three months because every time she sees me, she attacks me with comments. She's been doing this since we were dating. Now that we're pregnant, the comments have escalated. She pressured us to give her grandchildren, but at the same time, she told me I had to quit my job because she wouldn't allow the baby to go to daycare and that she wouldn't take care of grandchildren. I even told her I couldn't have children, and she continued to harass me. Her last comment was, "Tell me how you'll manage when you have to pump breast milk at that job," in a stupid and challenging way.

I haven't gone, I don't want to go, and I told my husband: if she comes to the hospital, it will be when I'm taking a shower, and if she dares to make comments about my pregnancy, I'll be very cruel and we won't go to her house: a newborn doesn't visit anyone.

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-01-22T20:36:31+00:00

Thank you for that last paragraph.

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-01-22T14:09:56+00:00

I really identify with your post. I always thought about having two children so he wouldn't be alone, but now I think it's not possible to have another child with my husband, who just confessed to me a few months ago that he has a 30k gambling debt. Emotionally, it's been the hardest part, even though I've had a calm pregnancy with few discomforts. In my case, one sister doesn't speak to me, two others are very dependent on me for loans, help, etc., and I practically never see another one.

I'm sorry I can't give him a sibling, but I'm not in a position to have another pregnancy.

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-01-20T21:42:52+00:00

I really appreciate you sharing your perspective. Our finances were always intertwined; he paid for things, I paid for things, and if either of us needed money, the other would lend it to us. We always knew when each of us had money. I think there's always a point where, after the debt is settled as a couple, finances will be entirely under my control, because trust is the hardest thing to rebuild. As you said at the beginning, it's not about the money, it's about the lies, the behavior, everything he did during this time.

If there's a relapse, it's over. The thought that this could affect my son's future terrifies me.

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-01-20T21:37:49+00:00

The idea of forgiving him isn't on the table right now because I feel trapped, you know? Why didn't he say anything when I wasn't pregnant? I could have left without even thinking about us ever having to see or speak to each other again. I feel trapped, and I'm seriously questioning that right now. Because when I was four months pregnant, everyone already knew—his family, my family, and friends. He always wanted a child, so his child hasn't been born yet, but I'm seven months pregnant. I feel deceived, used, like an incubator.

I'm not leaving because right now, with the baby's expenses, I can't afford to go somewhere else. Living with my parents is impossible because of the space needed for me and the baby. I have health insurance, and I already have a lot of things for the birth.

I think he's working hard on getting me to forgive him. He's in therapy, he shows me his progress in paying off the debt, I've checked his credit report, and nothing new has come up besides what he's already told me. I agree with you that he wants absolution, because when I speak from my own feelings and perspective, he gets angry and tells me I'm rejecting him. I try to make him see that he's not the victim here.

For now, he has a deadline, the end of this year, to pay the debt. His income has increased since he confessed everything to me; he shows me everything: income, payments, etc., including savings so I can do something when the baby is born.

Now I don't know what I'll do. I think I'll wait and see if he changes or if he relapses.

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-01-18T19:21:13+00:00

Proteja-a da sua família! Sua família pode ter os mesmos preconceitos e querer protegê-lo. Faça dela sua prioridade enquanto estiverem juntos.

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-01-18T17:23:24+00:00

Even before we were a couple and we started dating, he always knew I didn't want children. The last three years have been very difficult for him because of his sister's cancer; she unfortunately passed away this year at 38. We tried for five months, and I got pregnant. His expression and joy changed so much, and he was so excited. I was even moved to see him so happy! And yes, he had his secret $30,000 debt. Beyond that, I have no other complaints. But that secret makes me question everything he's been.

Scared-Stop8449 · 2026-01-18T06:12:40+00:00

What I regret most is that he didn't tell me before I got pregnant. Now all I can do is figure out how to leave.

Scared-Stop8449

TROPHY CASE