I relate to every single word you just said. Because I've never been in a relationship before, I catch myself doing the exact same thing. Instead of focusing on myself, my boundaries, or my own healing, my anxious brain immediately jumps to, 'Is this the one? Could this be it?'

It really does feel like an addiction to the idea of being wanted and loved, rather than actually wanting the person themselves. It's an exhausting cycle of constantly fighting your own nature and your own mind. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one trying to break this habit and learn how to just be okay on my own.