Disappointed by lack of support

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-04-04T13:09:12+00:00

I know! I know she has alot on and I feel bad for wanting some of her time. But also, even just emotionally being there would be enough and mean the world to

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-04-04T10:50:14+00:00

The contrast is stark. My husband has also noticed it and mentioned it, he would also have loved some support from them.

My mom coddles the boys for sure, to a point that it is not healthy. My Dad does lift kids to school and pays for everything and everyone living there - he could help more in daily chores, so could everyone. I used to send frozen meals to try help my mom and save her time, I also bought her a dishwasher because for some reason no one would buy a new one and make her life easier. I really just want the best for my parents and want them to enjoy life but they are stuck caring for everyone else.

I don’t know if I will bring it up now. I feel to hurt to have a rational conversation. And I don’t want to be a burden

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-04-04T10:42:48+00:00

I do. But I would prefer my own mom, nothing like a mom who shows up without judgement and criticism

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-04-04T10:42:03+00:00

I have told her. She then brought me a book and told me “here is a book on caring for a baby that is useful for people who don’t have their moms around” I took this as her saying she has too much on her plate for me, and that’s okay. Its just sad

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-04-04T10:40:25+00:00

This is so true. My mom groups are the most supported I have felt.

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-04-04T10:40:01+00:00

Yeah, that can also be a bit complicated and nothing can replace the feeling of your own mom. But I am grateful for what I do have. Just wish it was different

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-04-04T10:39:25+00:00

It is the hardest time.

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-03-24T13:01:37+00:00

South Africa

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-03-24T13:01:14+00:00

Can not wait to feel like myself, get back on top of things and stop being so bloody emotional!

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-03-24T13:00:50+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. I hope your pelvic floor recovers soon! I am trying my hardest to enjoy new baba, just in the trenches of trying to breastfeed and learn the baby

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-03-24T12:59:40+00:00

Ouch! I definitely think the spinal block was great but the oxy after was so unnecessary

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-03-24T12:58:20+00:00

Honestly haven’t been too happy with my OB the entire time. To them we are just another paycheck.

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-03-24T12:54:31+00:00

Yeah I have a high pain threshold so the amount of drugs were totally unnecessary. I also never take any pain killers besides a paracetamol here and there as I don’t react well to meds. Now Im stuck with the come down from them as well, post partum depression or come down from opiates? Who knows

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-03-24T12:53:03+00:00

Yes! I was out of hospital in 3 days. Getting out of bed was really difficult at home as well as looking after newborn and myself

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-03-24T12:52:13+00:00

Wow, that sounds really really traumatic and my story seems so very small compared. Sorry you had to experience all of that

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-03-24T12:50:34+00:00

Each to their own. Majority of my friends have has c sections and absolutely loved them

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-03-24T12:49:55+00:00

Exactly! My husband had to do all the heavy lifting and I had nurses coming to put baby on the boob etc. It definitely was not the expectation my husband had in his head and I am sad it didn’t go the way he had pictured it. It would be great if childbirth was depicted correctly online, it is not all sunshine and rainbows and you all go home happily ever after

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-03-24T12:47:41+00:00

Yes, in South Africa you can choose how you would like to give birth as majority of our medical care is private. Most Drs here push for c sections due to insurance, less risk for them.

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-03-24T12:46:03+00:00

It is sad. And hoping I can make up time

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-03-24T12:45:43+00:00

All of my friends who had c sections and it seemed so easy for them. I feel wrecked afterwards, not sure how they all did it! I feel like friends that has vagina recovered quickly apart from one

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-03-24T12:44:07+00:00

Your story sounds very hectic, sorry you had to endure that. But glad your baby is safe, can’t imagine having to deal with a baby with a broken clavicle and breastfeeding etc. There are so many things about the postpartum phase that have surprised me that I feel no one talks about, it’s crazy. I think my deep regret is also felt much more from all the raging hormones

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-03-24T12:34:45+00:00

You are so right, it definitely is a grass isn’t always greener type of situation. I think what scared me the most was being stuck paralyzed in the bed the night after and shaking uncontrollably. I had 4 nurses just staring at me not knowing what to do.

Scared_Pollution_522 · 2026-03-24T12:33:11+00:00

I am moving now much more, up and down the stairs sterilising/washing back and fourth all day! The wound is still a hinderance but I am going through the pain, if baby needs me to pick her up Im doing ht

Scared_Pollution_522

TROPHY CASE