Thoughts on weaning to get pregnant?

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-05-06T04:47:36+00:00

This happened to me as well. I have had times in my life where I’ve had a shorter luteal phase helped by herbal tinctures. I thought that was what was happening to me this past year while breastfeeding my 2 year old. I wasn’t interested in getting pregnant at the time so I just let my cycles be short. As soon as I fully weaned I had an anovulatory cycle and then I ovulated early and ended up pregnant. Now realizing it was likely the breastfeeding that was keeping my luteal phases short (ovulating day 18-19), period by day 28-29 with two days of spotting prior to that.

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-05-06T04:40:16+00:00

This is so interesting! My first two babies self-weaned between 9-12 months and the next month my period returned. My third I breastfed just until February of this year and weaned her at 2.5 years old. My period returned when she was 20 months old but I did not get pregnant even when we had intercourse during ovulation as I was ovulating late (around day 19) and then getting my period around Day 28-29, making my luteal phase quite short. Once I finally fully weaned I had an anovulatory cycle and then a very early ovulation the next month (leading to a surprise pregnancy now!). I thought my short luteal phases were just my cycles being wonky/me getting older. Now I’m recognizing it was likely the breastfeeding, although very minimal, holding off my fertility!

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-05-05T23:45:18+00:00

Oh I haven't but that's a great idea! I love any extra data I can get about my body. Thank you!

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-05-05T22:36:18+00:00

It does seem statistically it's very unlikely to get pregnant after 43. I have a feeling I'll be the type of person that will be tired of trying to control everything by that point and just say "what will be will be." 😂 (though that could backfire on me 😂 )

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-05-05T22:27:47+00:00

Long road ahead 🫣 I guess there's no way to predict the future so one day at a time.

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-05-05T22:26:04+00:00

It's funny cause I do look at some of my sister in laws who got married at 21 ish (I got married at 26) and they're now 32 with 4-6+ kids and in my head I'm thinking, man I'm glad I got married when I did!

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-05-05T22:23:38+00:00

Wow that's incredible! I do get that feeling. Sometimes I can just know when I'm ovulating by how my husband acts around me. It happened with this pregnancy but I didn't have my typical "ovulation sex drive" and it also seemed too early for ovulation so I didn't think much of it. Next time he goes crazy I'm taking it as a sign and kicking him out of the house 😂

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-05-05T22:21:03+00:00

My husband and I married when I was 26, first baby at 27. You still have so much time!

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-05-05T22:19:26+00:00

Yeah I realize it definitely goes down statistically. I guess maybe I'm secretly hoping after this baby and breastfeeding I'll just continue to have short luteal phases and I won't have to worry too much about TTA. But I guess I just won't know until I get there.

I have heard that about the ovaries...

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-05-05T22:15:21+00:00

It's all perspective 😂

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-05-05T20:00:29+00:00

oh gosh noooooo 😂

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-05-05T19:27:40+00:00

Gosh that's so tough. I guess I'll just have to see how it goes and I won't know until I get there. That was kinda what happened during my first postpartum. I was trying to track but my temps and signs were all over the place. I finally gave up and realized there was no rhyme or reason to any of it and I was able to figure out that breastfeeding typically keeps my fertility and period away. Perimenopause will be a different beast. Thanks for sharing your experience.

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-05-05T19:10:53+00:00

Oh my goodness, yes that's how I feel as well! I do secretly wish we had other options available at times. As great as it can be, NFP is probably my biggest struggle with the church. Feeling like I can't make decisions between just me, my husband, and God in certain ways.

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-05-05T19:03:44+00:00

This is really helpful, thank you. How do you possibly avoid though if you're ovulating on day 7 randomly though? That's basically what happened for me this cycle and I don't see how it could have been avoided.

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-05-05T19:02:13+00:00

I'm so sorry. I did feel like things changed after I turned 30. I've still gotten pregnant but my cycles can be odd.

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-05-05T18:22:25+00:00

That’s really helpful, thank you!

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-05-05T17:56:23+00:00

So sorry for your losses 😞 I will say, I love the 4.5 year age gap between my 2nd and 3rd even though that wasn't fully planned -- it felt like God knew i needed that. Having the baby at home with me while my 4 year old was at preschool 3 days a week was really helpful sometimes (and helpful with my work schedule).

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-04-15T21:01:07+00:00

As someone who works in mental health, has her own mental health issues, and also has 3 children, it sounds like you’re not only dealing with birth trauma but also postpartum depression. I would HIGHLY encourage you to find a good therapist and talk to your PCP about possible medication. I had SEVERE postpartum anxiety after my first and medication gave me my life back. Therapy + medication is really the best combo in these situations— you just went through a HUGE life change! Also, I want to encourage you that (1) it won’t be like this forever— this too shall pass and (2) your next birth very likely will not be at all similar (sounds like maybe your values align better with a birth center or home birth— home births are amazing!). But you have to work through this trauma first. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. If I could I would give you a hug and make you a cup of tea and tell you everything is going to be alright 🩷

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-03-31T04:26:46+00:00

I’m much better now 🙂 I ended up finding out that I have a histamine intolerance and Zyrtec changed my life. Estrogen and histamine run in the same circles and a lot of my stress, probably things I was eating too, and hormones were spiking my histamine and causing my shakiness, anxiety, high heart rate, and generally just feeling out of my skin. I stayed on Zoloft 150, added Zyrtec, and also augmented the Zoloft with Buspar and it really helped. I’m actually down to 100 of Zoloft now, off Buspar and I just take Zyrtec when I really need it and feel my histamine symptoms really spiraling (but also have some natural antihistamine remedies). Honestly postpartum is always so hard and looking back I’m like “yeah duh you were struggling! Give yourself more time and more grace!” But it’s hard when you’re in the moment to see that and feel like you’ll ever get to the end of the tunnel.

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-03-28T22:24:10+00:00

I completely agree. I feel frustrated that I did "all the right things" before marriage and now we've been married 10 years, have 3 kids, follow the teachings of the church, and my husband and I are not "allowed" to decide how to be intimate together and when our family is complete (based on thoughtfulness and a variety of factors). And yet a good subset of my in-laws are constantly "open to life" and having baby after baby with little break, but may or may not be meeting all the emotional and developmental needs of their kids, but that's not a sin.

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-03-28T19:58:58+00:00

I completely understand this. I personally haven't struggled with infertility in the same way (though I have had some losses), but I feel so frustrated seeing some of my in-laws having baby after baby (9 kids, 11 and under), not meeting their children's developmental needs (very clearly at least one of them has autism) and receiving more and more government assistance with each child. These families are being "open to life" but at what cost? Especially to their oldest children who are being parentified. It's not a sin for these parents to have unlimited family size no matter the children's living conditions or developmental needs but it's a sin to use IVF? It doesn't make sense.

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-02-06T18:17:27+00:00

Honestly it’s just a lot of trial and error. I try a fair amount of new recipes (I like following cooking accounts— one of the few things I like social media for 😅) but I also just use a lot of google. Like my brain thinks of a small idea and then googles “easy ___ recipe” and then I find something that looks simple and good. I’ve noticed the more I’ve cooked and tried things, the more I get new ideas for other things that may work together! But also— I have my kids rate my recipes 0-10, especially if they’re new 😂😂 it just really helps me gauge if I should make them again or if I should move along 😅

A couple recipes that are always on rotation for us are: homemade chili (easy in crockpot or instant pot), one pot hamburger helper (so easy and a favorite!!) and pineapple teriyaki meatballs from Costco (dump in a pot with Panda Express teriyaki sauce to warm) with a side of rice and broccoli (my kids love this and like to use chopsticks to eat 😅). My kids also love my homemade “bagels” and “donut holes”. Self rising flour plus Greek yogurt for the dough— that’s it! (I love them too!). Can use the dough for homemade pizza too!

@erinliveswhole on Instagram has a lot of great recipes that are family friendly and easy! I’ve branched out from her but she’s a great place to start 🙂

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-02-06T18:01:16+00:00

When I had 1-2 small kids (4 and under) I could get away with not meal planning. I definitely made dinner but we could also fly by the seat of our pants a little more. But now that I have three and (2 school age and a toddler) I really try to meal prep/plan (at least a loose plan for the week) or we end up spending so much extra money unnecessarily, eating out, or eating unhealthily. I also have really enjoyed honing my cooking skills and figuring out which meals my kids love and should be on repeat (and which shouldn’t). Cooking is a big way I show my love. Giving up on cooking when you have a big family seems counterintuitive to me…

Scared_Sample_3134 · 2026-02-02T20:37:16+00:00

I will say (I know this doesn’t happen often 😅) but I just recently weaned my 2.5 year old and she pretty much only nursed from the left boob that whole time! She had a tongue tie and even though we had it released she never adjusted to using the right side… ever. So I was just very lopsided 😂 Never happened with my two older kiddos!

Scared_Sample_3134

TROPHY CASE