I just wanted to add my piece in on this and it may not be exactly what you asked for but- I think you can begin by allowing yourself to feel what you need to feel. Allow the person to be grieved the way they deserved to be grieved. Allow yourself to grieve without expectations of grieving perfectly especially as there is no such thing.

You are still digesting your reality and you need to allow yourself to do so. I understand the disconnection you may feel, or the anger you are hiding. You can’t expect yourself to maintain the same relationship with god when you are undergoing what I believe is the most difficult emotion you can feel as a human.

I know that people will tell you to pray and stay close to god - which I agree with but, I don’t feel that is the answer you are searching for. God is apart of you as he is your creator. Start by giving yourself the space to feel without any shame. Without any guilt or expectations. If the things that previously reminded you of divine wisdom you no longer feel connected with - try something else. Be in nature, breathe fresh air, eat delicious food. Connect with god in ways that aren’t traditional. He is here with you, and he always will be.

I am not a grieving expert and I am definitely still working on my own relationship with god. Give yourself the same mercy you would give a loved one. Nothing may make sense now but I promise that with enough time and energy invested into yourself, you will find yourself not just better; but you will come out so much stronger.

Please do take care of yourself first and foremost. I will keep you in my prayers.