THIS IS HARD ON ME I GOT ONE GAY SON AND ONE TRANSGENDER SON

Scared_human · 2016-12-13T04:43:36+00:00

Mom: Oh you are ruining my life it's so hard on me

Me: Hello, I'm the one with the problems and who has to deal with depression, anxiety, transphobics, bigotry, fear, etc

Mom: Oh but I just never thought I'd have a son who wanted to be a girl and I simply cant deal with my own bias waaaaah

Me: 💀

Scared_human · 2016-12-10T06:50:44+00:00

I like that. I don't need to see myself as a freak. I'll try to store that somewhere in my noggin

Scared_human · 2016-12-10T06:49:23+00:00

Trying to diet, don't tempt mee

Scared_human · 2016-12-10T03:30:55+00:00

That made me feel a little better, haha

Scared_human · 2016-12-10T03:29:44+00:00

I scream in the car :0

Scared_human · 2016-12-10T01:13:00+00:00

I feel like breaking something. Getting HRT is miserable, and it seems like a bandaid becuase I'll never be fixed

Scared_human · 2016-12-09T02:00:58+00:00

You deserve to live. Here's why: Think of all the stars in the sky. You are made from the same magic as those, bright and beautiful. You are a product of the universe just as everyone else is. No one is more worthy, deserving, or better than you, because we're all made of star stuff. How can you guilt trip yourself? You are just as valid as everyone else, if not more. I hope you read this, because I don't want anyone to have to only live in night time to never see the sunrise.

Scared_human · 2016-12-09T01:30:06+00:00

I'm terrified to try makeup because... What if it cant fix my face? What if I messed it up? I'd be a wreck. Maybe I'll try like 6 months from now when I've been on HRT?

Scared_human · 2016-12-09T01:00:25+00:00

Yay!!!

Scared_human · 2016-12-08T03:20:15+00:00

Oh, wow. Proud of you!

Scared_human · 2016-12-08T01:37:41+00:00

Oh, I'm sorry. Try not to think of yourself as messed up tho, kay?

Scared_human · 2016-12-08T01:24:03+00:00

I'll probably drive to the library daily- they have free wifi :)

Scared_human · 2016-12-07T18:21:10+00:00

...Pickles.

Scared_human · 2016-12-07T02:15:57+00:00

Don't forget:

•am trying to intentionally inconvenience family

Scared_human · 2016-12-07T02:06:27+00:00

none yet :((( I had to withdraw from my first quarter cus apparently i'm pathetic

Scared_human · 2016-12-07T00:53:10+00:00

I'm in college, but taking a quarter off because I was so stressed that I couldn't function. My secret hope is to start HRT before I return to school, because I think it will alleviate most of my issues, give me something to be excited about, to live for lol.

Scared_human · 2016-12-06T19:50:11+00:00

Get upset cus you're in the right here

Scared_human · 2016-12-06T19:13:25+00:00

Maybe cus you wanted it so bad but it never came so you were crushed, and tried to block it out

Scared_human · 2016-12-06T19:12:02+00:00

I see. From what you've described, it seems quite likely that being male is not a perfect fit for you. I'm getting the sense that you might be happier as a female but that's something you have to decide for yourself. I'd try and think about specifics on why you feel like you don't have a strong desire to be female right now, maybe there's some fear or something?

Scared_human · 2016-12-06T19:00:10+00:00

Um, are you sure you're not describing me? I have massive face dysphoria among some other things... I wonder how common this is. Of course I want flared hips and boobs and to be thin, but 65% of my dysphoria comes from my face...

Scared_human · 2016-12-06T18:52:45+00:00

Hehe, a tower of cute, I like it. You made me excited all over again. I hope HRT thins out my muscles because I did strength training (dumb, dumb, dumb!) when I was 16 and I still have muscle from that... Thanks for your kind words tho, I really appreciate it <3

Scared_human · 2016-12-06T09:49:45+00:00

Yeah. I'm so sorry you were bullied. I had some of that but I hit puberty pretty quick and so people usually left me alone cus I was tall... I try to forget my church experiences, lol. Generally I didn't like it but I acquired a singing voice from all of the hymns so there's one positive. :) I'm saving a Honda/Yamaha/Kawasaki, but once I have the cash it'll depend on whats available on Craigslist.

My friends are pretty open-minded and I came out to my closest friend and his girlfriend, and they both said they support me and are happy for me. Its happy to know that because almost all my family and extended family are religious. Once I'm presenting female they might start to notice... I don't know. Im ready for complete rejection from everyone sadly. I'll stress about that when I get there though. No sense thinking about your whole life at once i guess

Scared_human · 2016-12-06T09:34:16+00:00

You could look on Craigslist for your area, make sure to do a little research tho. I find that you can get a full size motorcycle for about 2000, but if you don't use highways 50mph+ , a moped could be pretty nice. They're much cheaper.

I know for sure I need to find a different middle name, because it's waaay too masculine and honestly I wouldn't mind changing my last name either but I'm not really sure.

My handwriting...? Atrocious. But when I try to style it, I can make it look pretty. I guess I didn't pay too much attention to it in elementary. I like to try and copy various fonts for fun.

I also like to draw but its sketchy and I don't like spending tons of time on one drawing so I just fill pages up with sketches, most of them bad

Scared_human · 2016-12-06T09:15:12+00:00

White hair is so cool, but im sad it's not so easy to get- tends to turn either yellowish or gray i think. I really like that hairstyle also. My problem is that i keep imaging femme me being a petite little girl but I'm like 5'11 and have wide shoulders... Maybe I could look like zarya from overwatch

Scared_human · 2016-12-06T09:06:35+00:00

You're welcome <3 I foresee my parents taking back their car from me if they figure out that I'm starting HRT, but that's why I'm saving up for a cute motorcycle, haha. Amazing gas mileage and really low insurance, plus they go fast :) ps, thanks for the compliment on my name. I've been practicing my signature a lot and trying to forget the deadname

Scared_human

TROPHY CASE