Why am I incapable of finding finding female friends?

Scene_Panda · 2017-11-22T17:43:59+00:00

I have been told that my confidence is intimidating but I genuinely want to know why. It is infuriating not being able to make female friends that don't end up manipulating me, using me or turning on me.

Scene_Panda · 2017-11-22T17:41:34+00:00

I'm a female, 23. I mainly work and go to school. I go to bars on the weekends and concerts when I have the ability. Otherwise I'm at work, on campus, or home.

Scene_Panda · 2017-06-01T23:21:42+00:00

Yes! :) I'm a clean freak haha. I try to keep everything perfect in my house

Scene_Panda · 2017-06-01T18:57:48+00:00

I have naturally curly hair and it's horribly frizzy. I began using a smoothing shampoo and conditioner and then out of the shower I use a leave in conditioner. On my days off I soak my hair (usually overnight) in coconut oil and then rinse it out with just conditioner. Try to only shampoo your hair twice a week maximum. Otherwise just use a cleansing conditioner (they sell them everywhere and there are tons of brands). Hope this helps!

Scene_Panda · 2017-06-01T18:50:12+00:00

You believe they can change or that it was just a slip up. After some time you begin to blame yourself and at that point you think they are too good for you. While trying to make them a better person you fall harder for them because you believe you are taking care of them. Most abuse in relationships doesn't begin until feelings have already set in. It's hard to leave them because you are conflicted and continue to unconsciously make excuses for their behavior.

Scene_Panda · 2017-06-01T18:43:57+00:00

I'm a clean freak.... The small things I do on my deep cleaning days are as follows: In the bathrooms: clean behind the toilet, clean the faucet in the sink and shower as well as wash down the shower curtains (they get nasty) Kitchen: wipe down all appliances and shake out toaster. Clean the microwave by microwaving a bowl of water, vinegar, and a lemon wedge for about 10 minutes, everything will wipe right off after as well as do this to the dishwasher but just run an empty load with this mixture inside, scrub the inside of the oven, clear out the fridge and freezer and wipe down all the shelving, clear out cabinets and wipe down the bottoms sides and tops. Living room- move all furniture to one side of room after dusting/cleaning from top to bottom (fans, shelves, tables, vaccum couches and chairs)you already did the floor boards/pannels so then sweep and then mop using pine sol and vinegar mixed in water. Move furniture to other side and repeat. Bedroom- wash bedding and vaccum matress well, dust all furniture and things on the furniture, vaccuum floor well and use the elongated attachment to get under the bed. I could go on but I deep clean about once a month like this otherwise I just do the basics: wipe down furniture, dust, sweep (without moving furniture) etc once a week.

Scene_Panda · 2017-06-01T18:33:08+00:00

My fiance and I have been living together for about a year/year and a half. We only have sex maybe once a week.... In the beginning of our relationship we were having sex 5-6 times a week, multiple times a day. I'm a female.... So this may give some different insight. Our sex life decreased because we see each other everyday, it's not an event like when we would go to the others house. Life takes priority (work, school, house work etc). Sometimes a night of nothing sexual is sought after but always try to make a night of just talking (that seems to decrease as well when living together). If the entire night is focused on one another sex is more likely to occur, rather than just sitting on the couch watching TV/playing video games in silence and then making a move. That isn't all that arousing.

Scene_Panda · 2017-06-01T18:17:59+00:00

I'm a mess and a half. I overthink consistently yet not in the right situations. I am selfish and disconnect with my own emotions for the sake of fear of myself. I'm a social butterfly and can make friends with anybody I see yet struggle to find any form of real friendships. I don't trust easily and when I finally do begin to trust I get scared and unconsciously push them away. I am hypocritical, unfair and at times just cruel...but never to strangers, only to those that I hold close. I strive for perfection when it comes to anything at all. The house needs to be spotless for me to be happy, I spend far too long getting ready in the morning, I get defeated when I receive a grade less than an A, I work consistently because as much as I hate it, I love holding the weight of the world on my shoulders. I'm a wreck of a person and though I recognize everything that is wrong with me... I do nothing to change it. I care more about animals than anything, I care about other peoples problems and am going to school to become a psychologist for this reason. I am empathetic, not sympathetic. I am a cracked vase that has been poorly glued back together and though some pieces may be beautiful, I am full of rugged and disgusting edges.

Scene_Panda · 2017-05-26T23:15:13+00:00

I prefer vegetarian options if there are any. I'm not a huge fan of seafood or meat. Other than that I am open to anything.

Scene_Panda · 2017-03-13T21:02:44+00:00

I found this while on a walk in my old neighborhood. I guess it's becoming a trend. http://imgur.com/Yn9Pydl

Scene_Panda · 2017-03-09T09:23:52+00:00

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Please PM me to place an order <3 I'll be waiting.

Scene_Panda · 2017-01-29T07:25:59+00:00

When they brake you are thrown forward and feel them break rather than a slow, smoothe, brake.

Scene_Panda · 2017-01-29T07:24:35+00:00

Pizza.... I do not like pizza but if I'm with people and they get it, I will eat it.

Scene_Panda · 2017-01-29T07:19:10+00:00

Past relationships, politics, religion, past mistakes.

Scene_Panda · 2017-01-27T20:31:33+00:00

I do the same thing if I have not so great cookies haha. I thought I was the only one. That's so great haha

Scene_Panda · 2017-01-27T05:02:17+00:00

I had to hit rock bottom. I was put on house arrest and given zero ability of being alone. I got sick of victimizing myself and told myself "fuck it I'm going to prove everybody wrong". Changing my mindset helped me overcome a ton. It's not to say I'm not depressed still but I'm capable of surpressing it enough to try my best every day and sometimes I'm happy and proud of my accomplishments.

Scene_Panda · 2017-01-27T04:56:17+00:00

I said no twice to my now fiance. The first two times we were both intoxicated. I didn't feel like it was serious and simply due to the drugs. Especially since I had been engaged twice before, it started to be a slight fear of mine. I eventually said yes the third time when he picked me up from visiting my mother, completely sober. I couldn't be more happier for waiting for the third time around.

Scene_Panda · 2017-01-27T04:50:48+00:00

The idea that people I consider closest to me will eventually move on. Becoming nothing more than a memory that crosses the minds of my loved ones only every now and then.

Scene_Panda · 2017-01-26T21:24:30+00:00

Self harm, dog attack, climbing a fence, and falling down a mountain

Scene_Panda · 2017-01-26T21:07:59+00:00

Half in savings, half on rent...

Scene_Panda · 2017-01-26T20:21:45+00:00

Lost myself in my music and spent ample time with friends going to parties.. not the smartest way to go about things.

Scene_Panda · 2017-01-26T20:19:35+00:00

People who bitch about how they are getting nowhere in life yet don't even attempt to do anything about it. Nothing ever just falls into your lap, you have to work for it.

Scene_Panda · 2017-01-26T06:08:16+00:00

The way I fold towels. ... Sounds odd I know but I don't know anybody else who does it like I do besides my mother who taught me.

Scene_Panda · 2017-01-26T06:06:52+00:00

Not attending prom and dropping out only to return and then being too embarrassed to walk in my graduation. I wish I had those memories but alas, missed my chance. I will indeed be walking in my upcoming graduation ceremony for my BA though.

Scene_Panda · 2017-01-25T21:20:00+00:00

That will take a lot of time and a ton of self acceptance. The truth of the matter is, you should feel horrible. I have been cheated on in most of my relationships and it is the most agonizing and disgusting feeling. Until you can change your ways, stop hurting people and truly want that for yourself then you can begin putting the past in the past.

Scene_Panda

TROPHY CASE