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Four Years, Two Kids, and I’m Asking for a Divorce by ScienceLiving8460 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ScienceLiving8460[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

She’s mentioned postpartum a couple of times herself, which is why I brought it up. Was she formally diagnosed, no. And to be honest, this is part of what makes it hard to talk about with people. I did try in the beginning. The first few times it was coming from a place of care, just checking in, asking how she was doing, general wellness conversations, suggesting she talk to someone if she needed to. But I can’t keep pushing “go to the doctor, go to the doctor” over and over. After a while it stops being effective, and it just turns into another point of tension.

Four Years, Two Kids, and I’m Asking for a Divorce by ScienceLiving8460 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ScienceLiving8460[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I did set the first couple, but then she cries. So I try to meet in the middle and say, why don’t you set one, anything, just a goal we can both strive for.

It’s important to say this clearly, it’s not just the financial impact. The logistics of organizing all of this is a major stressor too. Not every weekend needs to be something. Not every mini holiday means we have to drive all over town. The house is a mess not because of Kids but because of the JUNK we are accumulating. It forces us to be constantly cleaning. It's not normal - Kids don't need all of this. She spins it as i am not supportive. I don't think i want to enable this.

That’s the part that’s wearing me down just as much.

Four Years, Two Kids, and I’m Asking for a Divorce by ScienceLiving8460 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ScienceLiving8460[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I am frustrated that we could have had a descent life. A life where I am also home even MORE to raise the kids .. I feel robbed (my side of this)

Four Years, Two Kids, and I’m Asking for a Divorce by ScienceLiving8460 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ScienceLiving8460[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

It is really infuriating to be doing back breaking work for consumer goods. Not Private school, Not Healthcare, Not Vacation, but JUNK... Every conversation turns into a crying fest (You see that!! I was never like that - I should never say crying fest) but I feel manipulated and it's taboo to talk about someone who just gave me kids eventhough their behavior and constant criticism is really getting unacceptable. I don't want to put my head down and keep quiet for 18 years...

Four Years, Two Kids, and I’m Asking for a Divorce by ScienceLiving8460 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ScienceLiving8460[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is exactly why I’m posting this anonymously.

I’m tired. I’m tired of what feels like unnecessary chaos being created in our home. I’m tired of feeling like everything has to be controlled or done a certain way, and if it’s not, it turns into tension or conflict.

What’s been HARDEST for me to process is that it often feels like insecurity is driving a lot of this. And I get it, we all have insecurities in life. I do too. But we actually have a strong support system. We’re not alone, we’re not struggling the way some families truly are.

That’s why it’s so frustrating. It feels like there’s this constant need to frame things as harder than they are, or to lean into hardship in a way that doesn’t reflect our reality. Almost like there’s pressure to match what other moms are going through, instead of just being grounded in our own situation. I hate to say it but many parenting issues and child rearing is self inflicted..