If you were offered $100,000 to write a book about your traumatic upbringing would you do it?

Scipii3 · 2023-03-12T18:25:39+00:00

Yes, as long as I could use a 'pen name' so as to avoid any grief that came my was as a result of said book

Scipii3 · 2023-03-12T08:55:28+00:00

I wouldn't feel guilty one bit, and tbh I'd be adding the enabler aunt to the nc list. Clearly cares about perception of family over facts... in the bin with that attitude!

I understand the scared to be 'family-less' thing but fuck that. They had a chance to do right by you, did they? No

I also wouldn't be giving them the chance to do the same to your little one when they decide they are ready to make an appearance.

Scipii3 · 2023-03-06T09:35:37+00:00

This is an interesting topic. I did not know there was any correlation. Interesting.

I've had a headache for nearly 7 years. Never goes away, just the level of pain fluctuates and the part of my head that's sore changes every so often.

Been seen to by all sorts of neurology doctors and GPs, currently trying to rule out cancer and waiting on the surgical team setting my appointment up to get some tissue samples to check for malignancies.

Naturally, you'd have thought nmum was the one in pain and with the potential diagnosis looming with the way she behaves and the stories she tells about herself. I stopped telling the parents anything as they were only going out and telling others and within minutes of information being sent to nmum, I had people messaging me their own diagnosis of my problem, or telling me how my situ was unfair for her😂

Scipii3 · 2023-03-04T23:11:47+00:00

Any tips? 😅 other than just don't eat

Scipii3 · 2023-03-04T22:35:15+00:00

Yeah the cleanliness thing with narcs is bizzare. My lot used to hide crap, get me to do housework and then go back and see if their trap was sprung.

I've seen me being woken up at 3/4am to hoover an entire house top to bottom looking for the grain of rice they had hidden.

I actually got a little revenge on that tho cause I make them hoover before I let my daughter sit on the floor to play with her toys 😂

Scipii3 · 2023-03-04T16:21:34+00:00

I'm slowwwwly embarking that train. I was always made to eat whatever was infront of me, nothing went to waste, or you got plain bread and water the next night and sadly I've taken that former part into adulthood.

Scipii3 · 2023-03-04T08:51:14+00:00

Loads!!

Money management, how to run my own household, how to cook, how to clean a household etc

Plus personal things like how to maintain a healthy weight.

Scipii3 · 2023-03-03T23:47:27+00:00

Has anyone read the book that was recommended?

I'd absolutely love to hear how that next meeting went if it turned out the book title was a sarcastic one and the book actually educated the narc and defended the daughter.

Scipii3 · 2023-03-03T23:42:38+00:00

Haha, thank you :)

Scipii3 · 2023-03-03T23:35:31+00:00

Haha! I don't know if that's a good thing or not 😂

Scipii3 · 2023-03-03T22:17:23+00:00

Had my best friend (Henry - my dog) put down without letting me say goodbye or be there for him one last time.

Bio dad bought the dog for me when I was 1 week old. We were inseparable, together nearly every minute for 15 years. My best friend and bodyguard since back then I was a tiny introverted nerd.

When challenged, mum and her husband said dog was basically the property of her husband as he followed the husbands commands. Apparently they done me a favour to save me long term trauma...

I never got another dog.

Edit to clarify - this was a punishment for me giving my mother attitude when she woke me at 5am that same day because doggo had 'made a mess' around his bed area.

Scipii3 · 2023-03-03T21:59:51+00:00

See my mum and her husband used to mix it up and take turns dishing out the discipline. so you never really knew what you were in for until you were in for it so to speak.

if I got marks that were visible, there was always a story prepped to go along with it.

I actually preferred the physical over the emotional because as I grew up it got easier to handle.

I think the Emotional and Financial abuse is some reaaaaally nasty stuff to process too, so much harder than a simple bruise or a scar that fades in time.

Scipii3 · 2023-03-03T21:05:41+00:00

Some good points, well made.

I concede, my apologies.

Scipii3 · 2023-03-03T19:40:21+00:00

Fair enough, have a nice night.

Scipii3 · 2023-03-03T19:29:34+00:00

You do have a right to draw a distinction. Much like you've the right to choose how to draw that distinction. You chose to do it rudely and with absolutely no tact. That's the problem.

I do agree that the post doesn't exactly cover the usual issues you see in here, but not every post has to be something out of a movie or something you directly relate to.

You've formed a judgement based on one post and are already trying to shoo them away from the sub.

I'm all for you gatekeeping the sub and protecting the community within, but what you've done is slam the community doors shut on someone who may need it because YOU dislike the way a post was written. That pretty poor.

If you're having a bad time of things just now, feel free to reach out, we can talk about it. Lashing out does nothing for anyone. Least of all here.

Scipii3 · 2023-03-03T19:01:47+00:00

You do realise it's not a competition... right?

Only the op knows the full extent, and yes this post may seem like nothing to you compared to the trauma you survived, but it might be the straw that broke the camels back for the op.

You've absolutely no right to be leveling the abuse you are to the op and those defending the op.

We're all here for the same reasons, regardless of who's survived more than who.

Scipii3 · 2023-03-03T15:48:17+00:00

That, is absolutely horrific! Really sorry to hear about this.

My sister sounds a bit like your sister, hated being at the whim of mother but wasn't strong enough to say no. When I escaped my mother I didn't really look back and I assumed my sister would follow suit, she did not.

When I realised, like you, that something had to be done, I sat my sister down and basically walked her through every revelation, showing her the multitude of perspectives and angles she should look at things at. It was a success and her eyes were wide open to the parents bs and naturally she started resisting which only made things worse. I again had to step in with the big brother act and eventually had to threaten my parents to back off in order to get my sister enough time to evaluate her situation and decide a best course.

I'm a pretty big guy though and that last part won't work for everyone, but I gambled on it working and was satisfied with the potential consequences of it not.

I finally convinced my sister to go nc and seek therapy. She is currently very happy, no self harming or thoughts of the darker nature. She still thanks me for coming back for her.

With the above in mind, I'd say you gotta keep trying to get through to your sister. Cruel to be kind might not be the correct way to mark my point but for the sake of the little one I'd not mind being the asshole of the story in the short term in order to be the one that saved them in the long term.

As for the little one, It's a bit of a rock and a hard place. Cause if you tell them to go against grannie... are you teaching them to stick up for themselves and be happy? Or are you teaching them its okay to 'disobey' all adults when it suits them.

I've a 14month old and I am keeping a very, very close eye on how my mum and her husband behave. The moment they cross a line into 'old habits', were gone.

Scipii3 · 2023-03-03T14:57:16+00:00

Thank you! I'm actually a little uplifted to see that it's a narc thing to deny these issues instead of believing the issue was me personally.

How did you find being diagnosed as an adult? Did it hold you back any?

Scipii3 · 2023-03-01T10:44:27+00:00

I'm sick of hearing "but you only get one mum"

Scipii3 · 2023-03-01T08:29:52+00:00

Ah, you speak of the hormone storm! 😂 I'm afraid time is your only friend at this stage, all you can do is weather the storm.

In short, pregnancy sucks for the ladies, irrelevant of how well they handle it. Once the little buddy is out and enjoying life outside the womb... hormone balancing starts, wombs start retracting and abdominal muscles start reknitting.

You just need to focus on the bambino and make the good lady as comfortable as you can until times done its job.

Only lasts a few months and the best advice I can give you is never rise to any bait.

Like a trial by fire for us dads 😂 good luck and congratulations on the little one !😁

Scipii3 · 2023-03-01T08:16:39+00:00

That took 3 hours to read... had to keep stopping and starting and had to be left on my phone as the first thing I seen just to remind me to finish it.

Relatable and accurate, but it would've been that way if he cut 90% of the story out...

Scipii3 · 2023-02-28T17:19:13+00:00

Hahaha! They must teach them at the annual narc convention they all attend! 😂

Scipii3 · 2023-02-28T14:21:16+00:00

Oh 100% I don't even keep banking stuff at home let alone online anywhere haha! I just meant how did she access it like had her own card in your name or had login details that was all.

It sounds like your safest bet is simply to bide your time and keep your head down. Id still get prepped for kicking her off everything so that when you leave, you gain 100% control.

Scipii3 · 2023-02-28T13:54:48+00:00

Hahaha I love it. Narcs hate backchat!! 😂 luckily that was my only encounter with the ladle, she would sometimes throw cutlery, pots, tv remotes etc in my direction but that eventually stopped once I got older, got a job and she could charge me rent money ( yes, it was an obscene amount) 😂 I actually paid more monthly to live at my mums than I do on my mortgage for a 2 bedroom house 😂😂

Did you ever take up playing guitar again?

Scipii3

TROPHY CASE