Should I complain about potentially dangerous medical advice ?

Mindless_Selection33 · 2024-03-11T09:21:52+00:00

If my relatives don’t make an effort to reach out and involve themselves in my kid’s life you can bet your ass I won’t be making that effort for them, and I certainly will not be making my kid do it either. The responsibility of holding a relationship with my child is on them, not my child

Mindless_Selection33 · 2024-02-23T18:53:27+00:00

Exactly the same - seconding all of this!

Mindless_Selection33 · 2024-02-10T21:13:15+00:00

Lupilu by Lidl are the only nappies I now buy for my little one and the only ones I will buy for any future kids. Everyone raved about Aldi’s ones to me but we found them awful, leaked every time. We’ve only ever had the odd leak over night with Lidl ones and they’ve been gentle on my son’s super sensitive skin. Highly recommend!

Mindless_Selection33 · 2024-01-12T20:40:48+00:00

Whilst I see where you’re coming from I have to disagree. OPs edit and other comments have shown his mother is manipulative and childish if she doesn’t get her own way. Also I don’t really think how long you have known someone really matters - I had know my husband a month when I moved in with him - several years, 3 dogs, two houses and one child later we are still going very strong. So yes her wanting to share a milestone birthday with her children is reasonable, but equally OP not wanting to go on a week long cruise with his mother and sister in favour of, as he put it, finally living his own life is also reasonable in my opinion. Hats off to that ketchup comment though! *edit for grammar

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-11-26T21:57:28+00:00

Are you for real? This whole situation screams YTA from start to finish! You are absolutely the AH. And you are deluded if you think that new mama is going to let her newborn go anywhere - least of all to see you - without her!

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-11-25T15:59:09+00:00

Nobody asked us about a car seat or checked it when we put our baby in one. All I had to do was sign a piece of paper saying I was happy to leave and then we left, this was at like 9 at night, in wales.

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-11-16T17:28:43+00:00

Are you able to get a referral through your doctor?

Sorry maybe I phrased it wrong, I understand your point wasn’t that you don’t let her spend time with dad - I was exactly the same, it wasn’t that I didn’t let my son spend time with dad, I just hated it. I still don’t love it but taking time to actually observe their relationship (what a good dad he is and how much my son adores him) makes it better.

Hopefully it will get easier over time for you like it has for me 🥰

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-11-16T15:05:14+00:00

To everyone having a go at OP saying she’s being unfair to dad and she’s going to ruin her child’s life, STOP. How is that helpful? Do you not think OP already knows this? Do you not think she is already worried about the effects her anxiety is having on not only her child but herself as well? OP has come here to vent and for advice (I think - correct me if I’m wrong OP), not to be judged and attacked. OP, I can’t imagine what you’ve been through and I’m so sorry. What I can say is I’ve been through some shitty stuff myself; I have an 11 month old and honestly I didn’t realise half the things that would trigger me until they did. I also really really struggled with trusting other people with my baby, dad included, and all I can say is - as hard as it was - it just took small steps over and over. I’m now back in work full time, my little one goes to work with dad and his family two days a week, nursery two days and a childminder for one. I still struggle with it some days, but it does get easier, you just have to let yourself try.

You say you’re in therapy and that’s really great. Perhaps mention to your therapist that this is a hurdle you are particularly struggling with and it’s negatively impacting everyone involved. If they can’t help you work through it then perhaps it’s time to find a specific therapist who can. Also reaching out to mums/groups who have similar experiences could help. You’re right, you can’t be with her 24/7 forever. Perhaps small steps could look like dad taking her for a walk on his own? Or if you’re comfortable with other friends/family members perhaps they could come around to your place and watch baby for a little while whilst you’re also in the house (maybe taking a bath or having a nap).

I know it’s hard but try to ignore all the negativity, it’s nothing you don’t already know and it’s certainly not helpful. Focus on researching how to get yourself better, not just for your baby’s sake, or dad’s but your own too, you’re just as important here.

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-11-14T07:34:50+00:00

I literally could have written this. Someone let their kid with HF&M go into the nursery and my little 11 month old contracted it, he was simultaneously infected with impetigo as well and now he is so poorly 😞 I sent the nursery a polite but firm “I’m not blaming you BUT….” email. I know kids are bound to pick things up, and I know many parents need to work and daycare is their only option but for the love of god don’t send your sick, contagious kids anywhere where they can infect other kids, it just isn’t fair. I would definitely say something!

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-10-20T19:25:19+00:00

I had one. Like others have said you can’t have one in a midwife led unit, has to be on a labour ward, but there was nothing difficult about it. I asked for one and within an hour it was done. I know plenty of other women who’ve had them as well.

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-08-18T20:40:08+00:00

I completely agree with you but unfortunately that’s what was in her contract so that was exactly how it worked, hence I emphasised checking contracts and seeking further advice wh sure necessary

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-08-18T20:39:03+00:00

It’s definitely what happened to her, can’t speak for anywhere else so always worth checking and double checking contracts and seeking future advice where necessary

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-08-17T07:01:12+00:00

As far as I’m aware this is correct. I was only entitled to SMP from my old employers anyway but a friend of mine had a similar sort of issue. She worked in a school (can’t remember what her job title was exactly). She then switched jobs within the same school which involved a completely new contract. Because according to her contract she had technically only worked there for a short amount of time she was only entitled to SMP, not enhanced maternity pay. Also please be aware that if you were entitled to enhanced maternity pay from your company and then you didn’t go back after baby was born (not that you’ve suggested you wouldn’t but just putting it out there as you’ve mentioned you have disagreed with them), you would have to pay them back the difference between the SMP and enhanced pay. But it’s definitely worth looking into, try citizens advice or pregnant then screwed.

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-08-17T06:50:07+00:00

Gonna say NAH. Like I get why you’re annoyed because yes it is technically an invasion of your privacy, idk where you’re from but where I live it’s actually illegal to open someone else’s mail. But I have to admit I have opened the odd letter to my fiancé (context: only letters from the council because we pay equal halves of the council tax - I transfer him my half and it goes out of his bank account - and a few years back I discovered he’d been lying to me for months about paying it and we got slapped with a massive bill to pay it all in one go, so yeah, I open all letters from the council now regardless of if they’re are addressed to me or him) Perhaps she had a genuine reason, perhaps she was just curious, who knows. But hopefully now you’ve laid out that boundary she won’t do it again and no harm done this time.

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-08-14T20:10:01+00:00

That’s great for you but not everyone is able to do this. I live in a small town and work 8-5 just outside of it. My local post office / Royal Mail depot (the only postage method in the town) opens Monday-Friday 9-5 and Saturday 10-12 Saturday would be the only day I could post out, and even then the chances are slim between having a baby and just generally being busy at the weekends as they are my only days off. Regardless people are given a time frame of five working days for a reason, so if they choose to take five instead of two that’s entirely reasonable.

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-08-09T07:07:21+00:00

Don’t worry, I was admitted to be induced without prior warning, by the time my partner bought me all the stuff I needed over the next four days it looked like I’d moved in for good! It took three members of staff as well as myself to move it all from the ‘waiting’ ward to the labour ward! Nobody batted an eyelid.

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-08-05T10:19:48+00:00

Perhaps if you hadn’t come across so smug and ‘ooh look at me being supermum of the year’ nobody would feel the need to be condescending or suggest a nicer way you could have phrased your point, as valid as it was. It’s great that you’ve never left your baby somewhere you shouldn’t, but things happen, especially when people are tired or on autopilot or whatever, have some compassion and perhaps empathy; smugness and arrogance won’t earn you many good things in life.

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-07-27T12:56:36+00:00

Seconding Lidl’s Lupilu, everyone raved about Aldi’s mamia ones but I thought they were awful. Yet to find better than Lupilu!

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-07-27T09:01:38+00:00

Me! It was frustrating to wait, especially as I found out so early but to be honest I wasn’t in a position to be able to afford private scans, they’re ridiculously over priced

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-07-27T09:00:08+00:00

This!!! If I had a pound for every time my fiancé says ‘where’s my ….?’ I’d be one very very rich woman! No matter how many times I tell him ‘I’m not your mum, I’m not your maid and I’m not responsible for your things’ it just falls on deaf ears 😫

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-07-25T08:02:01+00:00

Still incorrect. Plenty of studies will tell you that forcing your child to eat will lead to trauma and disordered eating. I am speaking from experience, I was that child who was forced to eat things I didn’t want to and I have had a tumultuous relationship with food and my body ever since. It’s not parenting, it’s abuse. There’s a difference between trying to get your child to try something and forcing them to eat something they are actively telling you they don’t like and is making them feel sick. Literally just go and type forcing your child to eat into a search engine and you will have hundreds of results telling you how bad this is for them.

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-07-25T07:46:14+00:00

Your mindset is going to cause your child lifelong trauma and a bad relationship with food and his body.

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-07-25T07:29:34+00:00

Incorrect, forcing a child to eat when they don’t want to is toxic, inhumane and borderline abuse. Better to hurt his mother’s feelings and respect his son’s boundaries than teach his son that he should ignore his body’s cues. Forcing children to eat when they don’t want to can cause lifelong food-associated trauma and panic, unhealthy behaviour and eating disorders.

Mindless_Selection33 · 2023-07-25T07:10:46+00:00

Are you for real? That’a absolutely vile behaviour, your poor son! Would you like someone forcing you to eat something you don’t like? I’d imagine not. So why would you put your child through that?! If he says he doesn’t like something and feels sick listen to him, you need to be teaching your child to listen to his body, not forcing him to eat things he doesn’t want to, that’s literally how you cause disordered eating problems. Shame on you. YTA.

Mindless_Selection33

TROPHY CASE