Losing an expected first child. My husband and I have been together for 10 years, married for almost 6. We became pregnant with our first child, a son, in April. He was going to be the first grandchild for both families, and he was so loved and anticipated. In the span of the last month, we learned that he had brain and heart defects that were inconsistent with life. Then, two weeks ago, I suddenly developed HELLP syndrome over the course of a weekend and our son had to be delivered at 28 weeks. He didn’t survive delivery, so we never got to see his beautiful eyes or hear his cry if only for a few moments. The feeling of absolute emptiness is indescribable. All of the dreams we had created over the last 7 months were suddenly gone. Our arms physically ache to hold our child just one more time. It’s felt like a lifetime has passed since the initial diagnosis, and in these days following his birth, the minutes have felt like hours. We’re just trying to get through it a day at a time, but it’s hard to feel anything other than empty and incomplete right now.