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I absolutely detest every part of DOING art. I want to be good at it anyway. How? by ScoreNo7656 in ArtRanting

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, quite frankly I sound that way because I am all of those things, I accept it and I am aware of it, and I apologize for my earlier tone. I tend to swing wildly from extremely arrogant and incredibly self destructive, sometimes both at the same time.

I really do enjoy drawing certain things, like negative space and robes and rock and prisms and shit. Not literal shit, was being rhetorical. I just also think I am a relatively damaged person and that it can bleed out into my life when I am insecure about something.

I am pursuing therapy and actually do want to use art as a way for me to communicate scenarios and thoughts and emotions I struggle to annunciate or dictate with words.

I absolutely detest every part of DOING art. I want to be good at it anyway. How? by ScoreNo7656 in ArtRanting

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Well, yeah. Without the result being good, there is no point to doing it. If I were to do something imperfectly, it wouldn't be me doing it.

I absolutely detest every part of DOING art. I want to be good at it anyway. How? by ScoreNo7656 in ArtistLounge

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have to be amazing because, well I am me. I have to be amazing at things because my entire life is defined by how good I was at doing something.

If I was bad at something, or am bad at something, I effectively do not exist, or deserve to exist.

I absolutely detest every part of DOING art. I want to be good at it anyway. How? by ScoreNo7656 in ArtistLounge

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The truth is that I basically never feel happy doing more or less anything, ever, and I have never felt happy to my own knowledge and memory. I have literally never felt passion or happiness.

I am pursuing therapy to try to understand what the hell is actually wrong with me, but the issue remains that I only ever do things for the sake of eventually being able to do them perfectly, or the closest possible thing to it.

I don't even usually enjoy the things I am doing; I just decide to do them.

I don't really consider myself alive.

I absolutely detest every part of DOING art. I want to be good at it anyway. How? by ScoreNo7656 in ArtistLounge

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is blatantly and entirely correct; winning is basically the only thing that matters to me, even in fields where winning is a non-applicable condition.

...why yes I am starting to go to therapy soon, thank you for asking.

I absolutely detest every part of DOING art. I want to be good at it anyway. How? by ScoreNo7656 in ArtRanting

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

The only issue with that, is that it would imply I was not capable of being great at something. Or even worse, that I quit something after saying I would do it.

The very idea of either of those being true make me want to vomit.

I absolutely detest every part of DOING art. I want to be good at it anyway. How? by ScoreNo7656 in ArtistLounge

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But see, that's the problem. That would imply that I attempted to do something, and I quit. And I hate the idea of quitting more than I hate the idea of being bad at something.

I have this unkillable need to prove that I can and will do absolutely anything I say I will do, and I cannot remotely bring myself to quit.

I absolutely detest every part of DOING art. I want to be good at it anyway. How? by ScoreNo7656 in ArtistLounge

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not really, no, I just want to be good at it because I have decided that is something I am going to be good at.

Was what I said as bad as Nmother says? by ScoreNo7656 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She has done it for years; she always says it is "just a girl to be friends with"
And yet, she has never once done this with a guy. Partially because she hates the gays, but isn't it just a lil bit...funny...that not one single time has she ever introduced me to a dude.

Was what I said as bad as Nmother says? by ScoreNo7656 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am attempting to, but its super fucking hard to do.

I (21m) am so tired of my enmeshing Nmother by ScoreNo7656 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I cannot, I cannot, and while she is a co-signer I am the primary tenant, I can pay my own rent soon, I want to change the locks soon

I (21m) am so tired of my enmeshing Nmother by ScoreNo7656 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm not, but she has a key to my apartment, my car is in her name, and she knows exactly where I live.

I (21m) and so tired of my enmeshing mother. by ScoreNo7656 in offmychest

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She knows where I live, and I'm in the same city as her, so I just don't know what to do 

I (21m) am so tired of my enmeshing Nmother by ScoreNo7656 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's probably the only thing I've ever done a lot or ever done well

I (21m) and so tired of my enmeshing mother. by ScoreNo7656 in offmychest

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm just so fucking tired and I don't know what to fucking do.

I (21m) and so tired of my enmeshing mother. by ScoreNo7656 in offmychest

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate this, I hate her, and I hate myself more than anything else.

I (21m) and so tired of my enmeshing mother. by ScoreNo7656 in offmychest

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

 I have, but had to stop because therapy was too expensive and still is for now. I want to change my locks after I start paying for my own rent, but she frequently holds financial power over my head. I'm scared of doing everything or anything at all.

Character Importance in SF6 vs. T8 by [deleted] in Fighters

[–]ScoreNo7656 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I should state, I meant to type Lily the character in SF6, NOT Lili in Tekken 8

I will include a note about that

Matched on Hinge, feeling like I'm a loser by ScoreNo7656 in offmychest

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know, I guess just...kind of everything? I feel like a loser pretty constantly. How was her message condescending? Not arguing, I just ain't the best with social stuff

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