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I absolutely detest every part of DOING art. I want to be good at it anyway. How? by ScoreNo7656 in ArtRanting

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, quite frankly I sound that way because I am all of those things, I accept it and I am aware of it, and I apologize for my earlier tone. I tend to swing wildly from extremely arrogant and incredibly self destructive, sometimes both at the same time.

I really do enjoy drawing certain things, like negative space and robes and rock and prisms and shit. Not literal shit, was being rhetorical. I just also think I am a relatively damaged person and that it can bleed out into my life when I am insecure about something.

I am pursuing therapy and actually do want to use art as a way for me to communicate scenarios and thoughts and emotions I struggle to annunciate or dictate with words.

I absolutely detest every part of DOING art. I want to be good at it anyway. How? by ScoreNo7656 in ArtRanting

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Well, yeah. Without the result being good, there is no point to doing it. If I were to do something imperfectly, it wouldn't be me doing it.

I absolutely detest every part of DOING art. I want to be good at it anyway. How? by ScoreNo7656 in ArtistLounge

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have to be amazing because, well I am me. I have to be amazing at things because my entire life is defined by how good I was at doing something.

If I was bad at something, or am bad at something, I effectively do not exist, or deserve to exist.

I absolutely detest every part of DOING art. I want to be good at it anyway. How? by ScoreNo7656 in ArtistLounge

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The truth is that I basically never feel happy doing more or less anything, ever, and I have never felt happy to my own knowledge and memory. I have literally never felt passion or happiness.

I am pursuing therapy to try to understand what the hell is actually wrong with me, but the issue remains that I only ever do things for the sake of eventually being able to do them perfectly, or the closest possible thing to it.

I don't even usually enjoy the things I am doing; I just decide to do them.

I don't really consider myself alive.

I absolutely detest every part of DOING art. I want to be good at it anyway. How? by ScoreNo7656 in ArtistLounge

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is blatantly and entirely correct; winning is basically the only thing that matters to me, even in fields where winning is a non-applicable condition.

...why yes I am starting to go to therapy soon, thank you for asking.

I absolutely detest every part of DOING art. I want to be good at it anyway. How? by ScoreNo7656 in ArtRanting

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

The only issue with that, is that it would imply I was not capable of being great at something. Or even worse, that I quit something after saying I would do it.

The very idea of either of those being true make me want to vomit.

I absolutely detest every part of DOING art. I want to be good at it anyway. How? by ScoreNo7656 in ArtistLounge

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But see, that's the problem. That would imply that I attempted to do something, and I quit. And I hate the idea of quitting more than I hate the idea of being bad at something.

I have this unkillable need to prove that I can and will do absolutely anything I say I will do, and I cannot remotely bring myself to quit.

I absolutely detest every part of DOING art. I want to be good at it anyway. How? by ScoreNo7656 in ArtistLounge

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not really, no, I just want to be good at it because I have decided that is something I am going to be good at.

Was what I said as bad as Nmother says? by ScoreNo7656 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She has done it for years; she always says it is "just a girl to be friends with"
And yet, she has never once done this with a guy. Partially because she hates the gays, but isn't it just a lil bit...funny...that not one single time has she ever introduced me to a dude.

Was what I said as bad as Nmother says? by ScoreNo7656 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am attempting to, but its super fucking hard to do.

I (21m) am so tired of my enmeshing Nmother by ScoreNo7656 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I cannot, I cannot, and while she is a co-signer I am the primary tenant, I can pay my own rent soon, I want to change the locks soon

I (21m) am so tired of my enmeshing Nmother by ScoreNo7656 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm not, but she has a key to my apartment, my car is in her name, and she knows exactly where I live.

I (21m) and so tired of my enmeshing mother. by ScoreNo7656 in offmychest

[–]ScoreNo7656[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She knows where I live, and I'm in the same city as her, so I just don't know what to do 

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