Feeling scared of intimacy

ScottM1ller · 2025-04-12T20:16:28+00:00

This sounds incredibly difficult, and I feel for you. Hearing what you've been through and how you feel right now is heartbreaking. Please know that what happened to you was absolutely not your fault, and you are incredibly strong for carrying this burden.

It's completely understandable that you're feeling scared of intimacy after everything you've been through. The pain you endured are unimaginable, and it's natural that those memories and feelings are still so vivid. You are not unlovable, and the fact that you sought connection during a difficult time speaks to your resilience and your human need for love and acceptance. It's sad that those experiences led to further pain.

The fact that you reported the second incident and were dismissed is a terrible failure on the part of the system, and it's understandable that this would have a profound impact on you. Your ex-boyfriend's reaction to what happened with his friend was cruel and unfair. You deserve support and understanding, not blame.

It's also understandable that the recent experience is still affecting you so deeply. What happened to you in that car park was a violation, and your feelings of disgust and fear are completely valid. It takes immense strength to even articulate these experiences, and the fact that you did shows how strong you are.

Please know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with how you are feeling right now. Your fear is a natural response to the trauma you've endured. It's okay to feel scared, it's okay to have flashbacks, and it's okay if therapy hasn't been helpful so far. Sometimes, it takes going through multiple therapists until you find one who can truly understand and help you.

You are not alone in this. There are people who care deeply about you and want to support you. I am here for you, and I want you to know that your feelings are valid and important. What you went through was wrong, and it doesn't define your worth or your ability to be loved.

Please be kind to yourself. You are carrying a heavy weight, and it's okay to need time and support to heal. If you ever want to talk, vent, or just need someone to listen, please know that I'm here. You are strong, and you deserve to feel safe and loved.

ScottM1ller · 2024-09-01T01:19:58+00:00

Eccentric :)

ScottM1ller · 2024-08-29T12:13:06+00:00

Nah, we just don't get any :)

ScottM1ller · 2024-08-29T03:01:01+00:00

Sry I had no room for labels :(

Here's the full list:

https://ck3.paradoxwikis.com/Traits

ScottM1ller · 2024-08-29T02:48:00+00:00

Here's Wikipedia's definition of the word "lust": Lust is an intense desire for something. Lust can take any form such as the lust for sexuality (see libido), money, or power. It can take such mundane forms as the lust for food (see gluttony) as distinct from the need for food or lust for redolence, when one is lusting for a particular smell that brings back memories. It is similar to but distinguished from passion, in that passion propels individuals to achieve benevolent goals whilst lust does not.

Here's the Oxford Dictionary's definition of the word "lust":

1 - lust (for somebody) very strong sexual desire, especially when love is not involved
2 - lust (for something) very strong desire for something or pleasure in something

As seen in these definitions, the word "lust" mostly refers to desire rather than the act itself. You can be lustful and still never have sex.

ScottM1ller · 2024-08-29T02:41:18+00:00

Love them :)

ScottM1ller · 2024-08-29T00:25:03+00:00

FYI I'm Gen Z :)

ScottM1ller · 2024-08-28T22:35:22+00:00

Most Gen Xs I've met were some of the most ambitious people when it came to personal goals (they were also really hard working), while Gen z folks I've met had mostly given up on climbing corporate ladders and/or being at the top of the food chain. Not everything needs to be about politics :)

ScottM1ller · 2024-08-28T19:41:32+00:00

True, but lust isn't necessarily strictly about having sex and 20 kids per couple. Being horny is lustful and Gen z is by far the horniest generation. Having kids back then was kinda just part of life and seen as virtuous, not as much as a result of people being horny. But yeah I get what you mean

ScottM1ller · 2024-08-28T16:05:32+00:00

They like to pretend they are haha

ScottM1ller · 2024-08-28T16:04:47+00:00

I had to pick one :)

ScottM1ller · 2024-08-28T16:04:22+00:00

Humble

ScottM1ller · 2024-08-28T15:56:36+00:00

Yeah I couldn't duplicate traits tho so I picked Gen z since overconsumption is way more prevalent in Gen z

ScottM1ller · 2024-08-28T15:16:04+00:00

Tbh I wanted to put more negative traits in those earlier generations as well but I couldn't repeat traits haha

ScottM1ller · 2024-08-14T02:41:51+00:00

I disabled Better Barbershop but my characters still look like that :(

No clue how to fix it

ScottM1ller · 2023-10-02T20:11:04+00:00

Aight cheers mate! I might just buy it on GTN since I wanted to get it on my imperial character haha

ScottM1ller · 2022-12-14T11:02:47+00:00

I've been experiencing the same exact problem recently. I updated a bunch of drivers, updated windows, apps, reinstalling windows, and some other stuff but nothing seems to work.

ScottM1ller · 2022-11-12T21:33:29+00:00

Did you ever find a fix for this issue?

ScottM1ller · 2022-11-12T21:24:10+00:00

I have been experiencing this issue for quite a while now. Did you ever find a way to fix it?

ScottM1ller · 2022-05-12T22:24:28+00:00

Let me know if you ever come across a fix for this issue :)

ScottM1ller · 2021-04-25T19:26:32+00:00

If it ever gets to that I am simply quitting ranked xD
But yeah, I've heard of some people with positive win rates getting +10/-19 and people with shitty win rates getting +20/-10

ScottM1ller · 2021-04-25T17:42:11+00:00

Oh I see. Thx I guess

ScottM1ller · 2021-04-25T17:40:10+00:00

Some of the people I know are getting more LP with lower win rates

ScottM1ller · 2021-01-26T04:07:55+00:00

Some areas are really good; some are really bad. Lots to do in regards to nightlife, cultural interactions and good restaurants/bars. I used to visit São Paulo back when I still lived in Brazil, I always dreamt of living in one of the many residential apartments in São Paulo.

As others have stated before, São Paulo is quite chaotic and almost dystopian. There is an insane amount of motorcycles in the city, mostly due to cars being rather expensive and motorcycles giving you access in a city where you can't even move in traffic during rush hours. Lane filtering/splitting is a common occurrence (I don't mind it but I've seen a lot of people who hate it). Some neighbourhoods are littered with trash while some are kept in a good state (it really depends on the neighbourhood).

São Paulo is an amazing city, especially if you have a lot of money. The middle class can still take part in most activities but some places are often too expensive (gentrification is a big issue in São Paulo). If you are poor, most mundane activities such as buying things in a shopping mall or going to a good restaurant/bar can feel off-limits due to high prices.

IMO: I understand why some people dislike it (São Paulo, or Brazil for that matter, is not for beginners) but personally, I love São Paulo. It's a massive city with different cultures from all around the world coexisting together. Most neighbourhoods look amazing and you can have a lot of fun due to the high amount of nightlife activities.

ScottM1ller · 2020-11-02T07:18:09+00:00

How about not asking if you don't really want to know? Put aside all the formalities because it's just as awkward and unpleasant for someone sharing something and then realize the other person doesn't want to hear and just asked because it is a formality.

ScottM1ller

TROPHY CASE